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Wed Nov 28, 2018 9:47 am by Jinks

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 Corrupted Wishes

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Jinks
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Mon Dec 14, 2015 1:01 pm

Granted, but Santa breaks your TV when he visits Xmas Eve.

I wish i wasnt in such a pissy mood.

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Tue Dec 15, 2015 1:00 am

Granted. However, you will overdose on the tranquilisers you take to calm you down, suffering major brain damage and spending the rest of your life as a drooling idiot.


I wish that they would play my favourite Christmas song at the local shopping mall - "Fuck Christmas" by Eric Idle.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Tue Dec 15, 2015 12:04 pm

Granted, but its the only CD they have after losing all the other ones so they have to play it ALL YEAR ROUND.

I wish this trapped nerve in my leg would fuck off

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Tue Dec 15, 2015 7:58 pm

Jinks wrote:
Granted, but its the only CD they have after losing all the other ones so they have to play it ALL YEAR ROUND.
(I really wouldn't mind when I think of the number of people it would piss off.)

Granted. However, you will accidentally cut your toes off in a mishap with your lawnmower.


I wish that this summer we wouldn't suffer the high rate of humidity that we usually get.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Thu Dec 17, 2015 11:27 am

Granted, you get a summer akin to the Sahara desert. And everyone blames you for the drought.

I wish theyd announce our christmas bonus at work (if any)

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Fri Dec 25, 2015 3:21 am

Granted. However, the company is operating on such a tight budget that paying out Christmas bonuses will create a massive deficit and cause the company to make 50% of the staff, including yourself, redundant.


I wish that I could afford a holiday in Europe this coming year.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Tue Dec 29, 2015 1:03 pm

Granted, you're off a Brussels industrial estate for a fortnight.

I wish i wasnt working today.

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Tue Dec 29, 2015 7:59 pm

Granted. You will be involved in a motor accident on the way to work and will spend the next several days in intensive care.


I wish I could get rid of this annoying summer cold.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Tue Dec 29, 2015 8:26 pm

Granted, but you end up getting mumps shortly afterwards

I wish my E-Cigarette would charge properly so i dont have to keep buying real fags.

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Fri Apr 22, 2016 11:26 pm

Done, but it makes you hallucinate like you're on the biggest bender ever. Razz

I wish I could have more time to post here. Sad
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Sun Apr 24, 2016 12:57 am

(I wish that too!)


Granted, but then you're never allowed to post anywhere else.

I wish I didn't have this cold


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Frakkin toasters!

So, what, the murder weapon was a top sirloin?

He's a klutz, Mrs. Landingham. Your president's a geek!
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Sun Apr 24, 2016 9:44 pm

Granted, but you can't walk for a week.

I wish I could lose weight quicker.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Mon Apr 25, 2016 1:44 am

Granted, but you can no longer eat any food you like



I wish my car would stop breaking down


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We renounce our Maker.
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Behold! We are the Nine,
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Frakkin toasters!

So, what, the murder weapon was a top sirloin?

He's a klutz, Mrs. Landingham. Your president's a geek!
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Fri Apr 29, 2016 4:22 pm

Granted, but it'll take you places you don't want to go. Razz

I wish I didn't have to charge my phone all the time.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Mon May 02, 2016 6:38 am

Granted, but instead it gives you an electric shock every time you pick it up

I wish it wasn't so cold

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We renounce our Maker.
We cleave to the darkness.
We take unto ourselves the power and glory.
Behold! We are the Nine,
The Lords of Unending Life.


Frakkin toasters!

So, what, the murder weapon was a top sirloin?

He's a klutz, Mrs. Landingham. Your president's a geek!
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Fri May 06, 2016 3:33 pm

Granted, you're on fire.

I wish i had more for lunch

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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:59 pm

Granted, but you turn into Mr. Creosote Razz

I wish I didn't have to work such long hours at work.
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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Thu Oct 25, 2018 2:13 am

Granted, however:
1. You will be involved in a serious automobile accident which will leave you bed ridden for at least six months.
2. As you are at fault, you are being sued for damages by the person whose wife and two children were injured due to your negligence.
3. You are not insured.
4. Your boss is not prepared to hold your job open for you, unless you are able to work from home.
5. Your wife is threatening to sue for divorce.


I wish the weather would improve.


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PostSubject: Re: Corrupted Wishes   Wed Nov 28, 2018 9:47 am

Granted, it becomes very nice and sunny outside. But you also suffer from the same condition those kids in The Others have.

I wish this storm would knock out the internet at work

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