What I've Just Watched: Part 2

Bonnie and Clyde (1967), directed by Arthur Penn (The Miracle Worker (1962), Alice's Restaurant (1969) and Little Big Man (1970)), with a screenplay by David Newman and Robert Benton, this was the film that added a new shade of violence to cinema screens worldwide, breaking cinematic taboos and helping to herald in New Hollywood. It's still a violent, uncomfortable film 45 years later. In the middle of the Great Depression in West Dallas, Bonnie Parker (Faye Dunaway) meets Clyde Barrow (Warren Beatty) as he try's to steal Bonnie's mother's car, which he's unsuccessful in doing, but Bonnie is intrigued by what he does, and she's bored with her job as a waitress. No sooner than they've met, he robs a shop and she teams up with him and they're on the road across Texas. Their crime spree isn't exactly lucrative, but it builds up when they pick up slow gas station attendant, C.W. Moss (Michael J. Pollard) and Clyde's brother older brother Buck (Gene Hackman) and his wife, Blanche (Estelle Parsons). However, the law is soon after them, including Texas Ranger Frank Hamer (Denver Pyle), whom the crime gang had previously captured and humiliated. It's an engaging and shocking crime drama, with Beatty and Dunaway are evil and dangerous but in a cool, calm way. It was nearly dumped on release, but Beatty threatened to sue Warner Bros. so they released it wide, and it was a world success as a result. Oh, and look out for Gene Wilder, in his film debut. 4/5



A Star Is Born (1976), the story of A Star Is Born had been done twice before, once back in 1937 as a drama and again in 1954 as a musical. Now, for the 1970's, it was going to be a drama like the 1937 original, but it was going to be set in the world of rock music. It became a world success, and even if it is a little on the long side, it's still an engaging enough story. It starts off with once successful rock star John Norman Howard (Kris Kristofferson), whose career has gone into a bad decline, he's late for concerts and his musicianship and singing is now sloppy, and he's drinking heavily too. One night, he's in a club, and he see's an upcoming singer Esther Hoffman (Barbara Streisand) who exudes talent. John tells her "I'm gonna take you girl, I'm gonna show you how." He helps make Esther a huge success, and the two fall in love and marry one another. As her fame grows, John's career sinks even further into a sad decline. It's a good love story, and Streisand and Kristofferson make a good pairing. The music is pretty good as well, (the song Evergreen won an Oscar for Streisand and Paul Williams), it's a story which could happen to anyone, anywhere. But, it's good enough to hold the attention for 2 hours and a bit, but only just. 4/5

Brain Donors (1992), directed by Dennis Dugan, (who has since worked with Adam Sandler), and written by Pat Proft (The Naked Gun (1988)) and produced by David and Jerry Zucker This remake of A Night at the Opera (1935), was intended to be a new series of films by Paramount, after glowing test-screenings, but when the Zuckers left Paramount under a dark cloud, Paramount dumped it. Shame, as it's actually a very funny comedy with some great gags. Widow Lillian Oglethorpe (Nancy Marchand) wishes to honour her late husbands wish of forming a ballet company, and she gets her lawyer Roland T. Flakfizer (John Turturro) to handle the deal, but he finds himself at loggerheads with Oglethorpe's late husband's lawyer Edmund Lazlo (John Savident). Flakfizer has help from Oglethorpe's handyman Jacques (Bob Nelson) and cab driver Rocco (Mel Smith), and they try to obtain the world's greatest ballet dancer "The Great Volare" (George de la Pena), but Lazlo wants to discredit Flakfizer, and expose him for the cheat he really is, chasing ambulances and twisting cases. But, Flakfizer, Jacques and Rocco won't be beaten. It has some hilarious moments, and it has a great trio of Turturro, Nelson and Smith as the would be Marx Brothers, and it's fun seeing Savident (Fred Elliot in Coronation Street) as the slimey, posh baddie. It's a shame it died on release, as it's far funnier than a lot of the comedies that were out around the time this came out. It's got cult classic written all over it. 4/5



My Name Is Bruce (2008), directed by Bruce Campbell, this is a low-budget, but cheesy and funny horror spoof. It sends up just about every film Campbell has ever made, especially The Evil Dead, but it manages to be great fun. It's smug and a vanity project, but it's proud of it as well, you wouldn't expect anything less from it's director/star, who is a legend in his own right. In Goldlick, Oregon, Jeff (Taylor Sharpe) is perhaps the worlds biggest fan of Bruce Campbell, he has all his films and memorabilia too. But, when he accidentally unleashes the Chinese god of the dead, Guan-Di (James Peck), after he removes an ancient medallion from a crypt. Jeff turns to Bruce Campbell for help, who is currently making his latest film Cave Alien II, and is getting dead-end film offers from agent Mills Toddner (Ted Raimi). But, Jeff ends up kidnapping him, and taking Bruce to Goldlick, where Bruce ends up thinking it's all a birthday surprise done for him by Mills, and he ends up falling for Jeff's mother Kelly (Grace Thorsen), who was at first repulsed by Bruce's drunken behaviour, but then Bruce learns the threat is all real, will he stay or fight?? It's funny in a cheap and cheesy way, but it manages to hold it's own for it's short running time, and you can't help but like Bruce. He's silly, over the top, but you can see why fans love him. If only he were bigger. Plus, Bruce wants to do a sequel. 3.5/5

Moonrise Kingdom (2012), directed by Wes Anderson, and his return to live-action after his dive into animation with Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009), this is a very odd and absolutely eccentric romance. But, it's everything we've come to expect from Anderson, who has a brilliant visual style that's inimitable and recognisable. It's a sweet film with brilliant performances and amazing mis-en-scene. On the Island of New Penzance, just off the coast of Rhode Island in 1965, 12 year old cub scout Sam Shakusky (Jared Gilman) has fallen in love with Suzy Bishop (Kara Hayward), and Sam will stop at nothing to be with the girl he loves, and they agree to meet up and run away. Sam runs away from the scouts, much to the shock and concern of Scout Master Randy Ward (Edward Norton), who calls in the services of the Island's Sheriff Captain Sharp (Bruce Willis). While searching for Sam, Suzy's parents Walter (Bill Murray) and Laura (Frances McDormand) find out their daughter is missing and end up in the search for Suzy and Sam. Meanwhile, the scouts are looking for them too, but Sam and Suzy prove to be a match for everyone looking. It's a sweet film, and even if it is a simple story, the way Anderson tells it is anything but simple. But, it's his use of camerawork and editing that makes his films stand out from the rest. The young leads somehow steal the film from seasoned pros like Willis, Murray and McDormand. But, it has amusing cameos from Tilda Swinton, Jason Schwartzman, Bob Balaban and Harvey Keitel. So far, this is the best film of 2012, a nice surprise too. 4.5/5



French Kiss (1995), directed by Lawrence Kasdan (Body Heat (1981), The Big Chill (1983) and Grand Canyon (1991)), this is a sweet and silly romantic comedy that has a good cast and is a good travelogue for France. It's female lead gives one her best performances, while Kasdan's regular leading man is quite convincing as a wheeling-dealing Frenchman. It's an underrated romantic comedy too. Kate (Meg Ryan) is engaged to Canadian Charlie (Timothy Hutton) who is away on a business trip to Paris, but when Kate hears he's fallen in love with Juliette (Susan Anbeh), and he won't be coming back. However, she plans to fly over to win him back, even though she hates flying and the French, but it's not going to get any better when she's seated next to crude, indifferent thief Luc Teyssier (Kevin Kline). Luc puts a vine with a stolen necklace inside in Kate's bag, but nothing goes to plan when they're separated at the airport and Kate's bags are stolen. So, Luc ends up following Kate all the way to Cannes, where she's hoping to win Charlie back, while Luc is obsessed with the necklace he smuggled through the customs and getting it back. It's got some very funny moments, and Ryan and Kline have a weird funny chemistry between them, it's the same old romantic comedy formula, where two people who can't stand each other end up falling in love, but it manages to work somehow, plus the great Jean Reno cameos as a cop on Kline's tail. 4/5

Journey to the Far Side of the Sun (1969), released as Doppelgänger in Europe, this was Gerry and Sylvia Anderson's first foray into live-action cinema, even though the Thunderbirds films had been flops. Universal saw potential for this mind-bending science fiction project, and got Robert Parrish, (Casino Royale (1967) and The Bobo (1967)), to direct it, despite best intentions, it comes out a bit half-baked, despite good special effects. In 2069, it's discovered on an unmanned mission to the Sun that there's a planet on the other side of the sun on Earth's same orbital path. EUROSEC director Jason Webb (Patrick Wymark) has to plan a manned mission to this other planet before the East get their first, and with funding from NASA, gets American astronaut Colonel Glenn Ross (Roy Thinnes) and British astrophysicist Dr John Kane (Ian Hendry) to man the mission to the other planet. But, things start going awry when they get there, everything is reversed, even the print in books. But, on this earth, there's Jason Webb (Patrick Wymark), who claims they aborted the mission three weeks into their flight, which Ross denies. It's a product of it's time, although it has some brilliant special effects by Anderson regular Derek Meddings, but we've seen it all before on Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlett. It does seem like this was padded out a bit to make it movie length. It's quite trippy in places, but you can tell 2001: A Space Odyssey was a big influence. 2.5/5



Dick Tracy (1990), based upon Chester Gould's 1930's comic strip, this was a passion project for Warren Beatty, who starred, directed and produced this insane but dark adaptation. It had been in development for 15 years, and despite the amazing set designs and horrific make-up. It's staged and designed like a pantomime, but everyone in it is taking it ABSOLUTELY SERIOUSLY, and therein lies the problem. Alphonse "Big Boy" Caprice (Al Pacino) is a huge crime kingpin, no-one will be bigger than him and he and his cronies including Flattop (William Forsythe), Itchy (Ed O'Ross) and Mumbles (Dustin Hoffman) see to gunning them down, one of them is witnessed by street urchin The Kid (Charlie Korsmo), who ends up with Detective Dick Tracy (Beatty) and his girlfriend Tess Truehart (Glenne Headly). While trying to take down Caprice's gang, Tracy ends up involved with Breathless Mahoney (Madonna), but Caprice has a plan to bring Tracy down and discredit him for good, and he frames Tracy for murdering corrupt District Attorney John Fletcher (Dick Van Dyke), now Tracy is on the run from the police, and has to clear his name and get to Caprice. You have Batman (1989) to blame for how this was sold, but this was a bright, colourful film-noir. But, it doesn't know what it wants to be, it's like a cartoon, but there's no comedy, it's dark and unsettling in places. Despite support from Paul Sorvino, James Caan, Kathy Bates and Charles Durning, it's not improved with age, and it gives you a headache. 2.5/5

Prometheus (2012), Ridley Scott returns to science fiction, and to the franchise that made him famous in the first place, sort of. While it's not exactly an Alien film or an Alien prequel, it shares it's set designs and it's claustrophobic nature. But it has non of the uncompromising, nihilistic horror of the original Alien film. But it's well made though, and Scott is always good at creating beautifully framed shots. In 2089, archaeologists Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) discover a star map in a cave on the Isle of Skye in Scotland. 4 years later, they awake from hypersleep while on a voyage on the spaceship Prometheus to the stars portrayed in the cave. They've been tended to by android David (Michael Fassbender). Shaw and Holloway are part of a team investigating the star maps, as seen from other ancient pictures, on board are mission director Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron), Milburn (Rafe Spall), Fifield (Sean Harris), Captain Janek (Idris Elba). They land on the moon which can sustain life and investigate a nearby monolith. But, they soon discover that they're not alone on this moon and there's something else there. If Alien was a horror film, this is a thriller, it does have gory moments, but it's evident that Scott intends Prometheus to be a franchise away from Alien. It's well made but we've seen it all before, but after you've seen it, it does grow on you after a couple of days. But, Scott knows how to create a good mood and how to frame a shot. The cast is good, but it could have benefited from a better script. 3.5/5



New York, I Love You (2009), after the success of Paris, je t'aime (2006), it's producers swiftly planned another film and want to make a series of films like that set in different cities, and this is the second one. Which is tonally different from Paris, je t'aime, as there's only 10 segments here compared to the 18 before, well it's 11 if you include the transitions throughout. Some of them work, others don't, but that's the drawback of portmanteau films like this. Amongst the highlights, the first segment by Jiang Wen has thief Ben (Hayden Christensen) getting involved with Molly (Rachel Bilson), Mira Nair does one segment were Jewish Rifka (Natalie Portman) finds solace in Indian Mansuhkhbai (Irrfan Khan). Shunji Iwai's bit has musician David (Orlando Bloom) in a phone friendship with Camille (Christina Ricci). Brett Ratner's segment has a boy (Anton Yelchin) falling for a wheelchair bound actress (Olivia Thirlby). Later, Shekhar Kapur's segment written by Anthony Minghella, has Jacob (Shia LaBeouf) falling for old opera diva Isabelle (Julie Christie). But, the most touching segment is by Joshua Marston, about an elderly couple Abe (Eli Wallach) and Mitzie (Cloris Leachman) on a walk out and about in New York and to the sea front. It shows love stories in many different forms, but it's touching in parts, although it does tend to drag in some places, it's well intended. There's another one of these films to be made sometime entitled Shanghai, I Love You, which is due out next year, but it might make a good series of films. 3/5

Burn After Reading (2008), The Coen Brothers return after their big Oscar win with No Country for Old Men, and they return to comedy, which is what they do best. Their latest offering is no exception, it's their take on the well worn spy genre. With spy films all the rage these days, it's good to see the Coen's twist it all about. It has CIA analyst Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich), fired from his job for alcoholism, and his marriage to his wife Katie (Tilda Swinton) is on the rocks, she's having an affair with Treasury agent Harry Pfarrer (George Clooney). In a fit of dispair, Cox hastily writes up his memoirs. Through difficult to explain circumstances, a disc containing his memoirs ends up in the hands of ne'er-do-well gym employees Linda Litzke (Frances McDormand) and Chad Feldheimer (Brad Pitt). Linda wants cosmetic surgery, so Chad decides to blackmail Cox, who is non-plussed about this, and Harry falls for Linda through internet dating. Confused? You will be. But, what else could you expect from the Coen Brothers?? It owes alot to the multi-layered storytelling from the films of Robert Altman, but it also owes alot to the paranoid spy thrillers of the 1970's. True, the film isn't a patch on the likes of Fargo (1996) or The Big Lebowski (1998), but it does make for very enjoyable viewing, it grows on you as well, the cast (including Richard Jenkins and JK Simmons) are perfect. It's mad and very silly indeed, but it's what we've come to expect from the Coens, and it's their finest comedy since O Brother. Let's just say James Bond has just found a bit of competition from a bunch of idiots. 4/5



Yellow Submarine (1968), The Beatles had made two films before this one, here they went animated, although they didn't lend their voices, (although they contributed songs, old and new), it's a brilliant piece of animation, a wonderful fantasy film, a flawless timepiece of 60's culture and a brilliant introduction for those who want to get to know The Beatles and their music. The film has the mystical world of Pepperland, being attacked by the Blue Meanies, and Old Captain Fred (Lance Percival) being sent in a Yellow Submarine to find help. He finds help with John (John Clive), Paul (Geoffrey Hughes), George (Peter Batten) and Ringo (Paul Angelis) in Liverpool, and before long, they set off to Pepperland in the sub, through the Sea of Time, Sea of Science, Sea of Monsters and the Sea of Holes, picking up a Nowhere Man along the way, (Dick Emery), and head on to Pepperland with the best weapons of all, Peace, Love and Music!! There are films which do not date, and this is one of them. It's a wonderfully inventive, beautifully visual and gently funny fantasy extravaganza. The songs are perfect as always, and there's a great deal of imagination of display here, the Sea of Monsters is a highlight, as is the Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds sequence. Simply impossible to forget. 5/5

Untraceable (1st view) - 3/5*




Haywire (1st view) - Efficient action thriller - 4/5*




Chronicle (1st view) - Good addotion to the found footage genre. I loved some of the cinematography, especially near the end - 4/5*




The Darkest Hour (1st view) - but also a bit I loved some of the absolute idiocy on display but it doesn't reach classic heights of so bad it's good - 3/5*




The Artist (2nd view) - As someone who has a love-hate relationship with silent cinema (the comedies are generally fantastic, the dramas are usually melodramatic dreariness filled with overacted, histrionic mugging and contemptible music) I was very pleasntly surprised when I saw this at the cinema and its charms are just as evident on the small screen. It's still better than almost all silent film I've seen that don't star moustached or pork pie-hatted comedians. Hugo might have been a better love letter to early cinema, and Singin' in The Rain dealt with the same transitional period to a degree of wonderfulness that this just can't match, but it;'s still a sublimely entertaining treat - 5/5




Snow White and The Hunstman (1st view) - I loved this more than any other version of the story. I'd imagine most would disagree with me, Music and visuals are especially good. - 4/5*




Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (1st view) - Some good songs and a winning performance from John c. reilly make this watchable. The jokes and story very hit and miss - 3/5*

McQ (1974), directed by John Sturges (Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957), The Magnificent Seven (1960) and The Great Escape (1963)), this started out life as an abandoned treatment for Magnum Force, then it became a potential vehicle for Steve McQueen (hence the title), before it was given to John Wayne. It was his first cop film after years of westerns and war films. He does well in the role too, but he's looking a bit old for it, and he should have made this sooner. In Seattle, it begins when Detective Sgt. Stan Boyle (William Bryant), has been picking off police officers is himself shot in the back by someone he was working for. His partner Lon McHugh (Wayne), also known as McQ, is assigned to investigate, and it takes him to shipping businessman Manny Santiago (Al Lettieri), who has been known to deal drugs. But McQ's excessive force ends up with him being kicked off the police force, or rather, he resigns. So, he teams up with private detective "Pinky" Farrell (David Huddleston), and continues to investigate the web of deceit and lies that involves the police have been stealing drugs and swapping them with sugar, with Captain Edward Kosterman (Eddie Albert) wanting to keep McQ out of trouble. Even though it's all been seen before, Wayne proves to be a dab hand as a cop, and he should have started doing them sooner, this makes a good double bill with Brannigan (1975). This benefits from good cinematography by Harry Stradling Jr. and a soulful score by Elmer Bernstein. 4/5



Riff-Raff (1991), during the 1980's, Ken Loach found himself nearly being blacklisted from TV and film, getting what work he could, a few political documentaries he did were banned by ITV. However, when he did Hidden Agenda (1990), he was suddenly back in vogue, and Channel 4 let him make this realistic yet gently witty film about what employment was like at the tail-end of Thatcher's era. It's well made and has some memorable moments. Stevie (Robert Carlyle) has come from Glasgow to London in search of better employment and a better way of life, he finds himself on a building site, converting a derelict old hospital into a block of luxury flats for rich clients. Stevie quickly becomes friends with Shem (Jimmy Coleman), Kevin (David Finch), Kojo (Richard Belgrave), Fiaman (Ade Sapara) and Larry (Ricky Tomlinson), the latter seems to blame Thatcher for the UK going wrong. Stevie becomes friends with unemployed pop singer Susan (Emer McCourt), who moves into the abandoned flat that Stevie commandeered with the help of Larry. Stevie and Susan struggle to get by living on the breadline with little money and no help or support from Stevie's employers. It's a sad picture of what had happened to the UK at the end of Thatcher's era, this came out 7 months after she was ousted, but even then, people were still feeling the depression of 6 and a bit more years of Tories ruling the country. But, Carlyle is very good, and you get the added bonus of seeing Ricky Tomlinson naked. Charming. 4/5

Donnie Brasco (1997), directed by Mike Newell, then hot off the success of Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994), you can't get anymore far removed than this. It was planned 5-6 years previously, but was delayed because of Goodfellas (1990). But, it's a very good and suspenseful gangster drama with good performances and it shows the gritty, down and dirty side to the Mafia. It begins in 1978, when FBI agent Joseph Pistone (Johnny Depp) has been posing as jewel thief Donnie Brasco, and has been trying to infiltrate the Bonanno crime family. Yet, he ends up befriending aging mob hit man Benjamin "Lefty" Ruggiero (Al Pacino), who takes 'Donnie' under his wing, and Lefty is able to get his boss Dominick "Sonny Black" Napolitano (Michael Madsen) to trust 'Donnie'. Yet the longer Joseph assumes the role of 'Donnie', the more it has a massive strain on his family life, it nearly wrecks the career of his marriage to wife Maggie (Anne Heche). But, he gets in a bit too deep, and becoming 'Donnie' ends up changing his personality, but neither Lefty, Sonny Black or underboss Nicky Santora (Bruno Kirby) ever suss out that he's working for the FBI. It's a power drama that shows the wheeling-dealing that goes on in the Mafia on the ground-floor level. Al Pacino gives one of his best performances in years, and Depp should be doing more down and dirty parts like this, as he's got a good knack for it. 4/5



The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (2011), from Morgan Spurlock (best known for Super Size Me (2004) and Where in the World Is Osama Bin Laden? (2008)), this is a documentary that explores and studies the way product placement is aimed at people, in TV, on the street and in the movies, but Spurlock has some fun along the way, but it doesn't discredit corporations, but it celebrates smaller companies trying to get their foot in the door. To make this film, Spurlock has the ingenious idea of having tthe documentary's $1.5 million budget funded entirely by product placement, the big corporations like Nike, Pepsi and Volkswagen either say no or don't reply back. So, Spurlock aims his sights lower, and finds luck with a pomegranate juice company called POM Wonderful, (who "presented" the film), and he also has luck with a small chain of gas stations in Pennsylvania called Sheetz. He also has fun finding a company called Mane 'n Tail, that makes shampoo's for humans and horses (Only in America...), plus he gets a deal from Mini, but only if he drives their cars in the film, (which he does), and Spurlock goes to Sao Paulo in Brazil, where they've banned outdoor adverts, and how they cope. It's a witty and light look at how adverts control us, and how they get into our minds and make us buy stuff. It's maybe not as provocative as it should be, but maybe that's the point. It's mostly praising smaller companies like POM Wonderful or Sheetz, who got good exposure from the film, so Spurlock did something right. 3.5/5

The Angels' Share (2012), directed by Ken Loach, who in recent years seems to have mellowed out and made lighter films like Ae Fond Kiss... (2004) and Looking For Eric (2009), although they are still grounded in gritty realism. This is one of those films, but it's one that could have come from Bill Forsyth. and despite some hard, gritty moments, it's a hopeful, witty comedy-drama. In Glasgow, young offender Robbie (Paul Brannigan), who after committing a nasty assault while high on drugs, is sentenced to 300 hours of community payback, and he finds himself taken under the wing of community officer Harry (John Henshaw). Robbie's girlfriend Leonie (Siobhan Reilly) has just given birth to a baby boy called Luke, and Robbie vows that Luke will have a proper upbringing with no violence. On a day trip to a distillery, it's discovered that Robbie has a good nose for whisky, and on another trip to a tasting in Edinburgh, Robbie and his friends Rhino (William Ruane), Albert (Gary Maitland) and Mo (Jasmine Riggins) hatch a plan to steal an extremely rare whisky that's going for auction up in the highlands, they see this as an opportunity to get out of their sordid lives. It's a very good film with a very good heart, and it shows that people can change their lives for the better if they put their minds to it. Despite using non-actors and a few seasoned pro's like Henshaw and Roger Allam, Loach is able to get some great performances out of them. 4/5



A Midsummer Nights Sex Comedy (1982), after splitting from United Artists after Stardust Memories (1980), Woody Allen found himself with a new deal at Orion Pictures. His first film for them was to have been Zelig (1983), but as that was taking a while to do because of the technical difficulties, he quickly wrote and filmed this and got this released first. A slight character piece that doesn't quite live up to it's title, but the acting is good though. Set in the early 1900's, distinguished and respected philosopher Leopold (José Ferrer) is about to marry young sweetheart Ariel (Mia Farrow), before vacationing to Europe for the summer. Before they do so, they're going to spend a weekend at the country house of Leopold's cousin Adrian (Mary Steenburgen) and her crackpot inventor husband Andrew (Woody), whose attempts to fly are always unsuccessful. The other guests include philandering doctor Maxwell (Tony Roberts) and his latest squeeze, nurse Dulcy (Julie Hagerty). Turns out, years before, Andrew and Ariel dated, and old passions are reignited, Maxwell also wants to be with Ariel, and even Leopold can't seem to stay monogamous either. Inspired by Ingmar Bergman's Smiles of a Summer Night (1955), this had potential to be a hilarious comedy, but there's something half-baked about it all, despite some beautiful cinematography by Gordon Willis. It seems all too routine, and even the dialogue lacks Woody's spark and bite, and it ends up like a deflated souffle. 2.5/5

What Have I Done to Deserve This? (1984), written and directed by Pedro Almodóvar, his 4th feature film, and this is a pitch-black comedy with bad taste jokes and subplots involving paedophilia and prostitution, all focused around a family breakdown. Despite being in very poor taste, it works and manages to be compelling and quite funny as well, with some good inventive moments within. Set in post-Franco Madrid, and housewife Gloria (Carmen Maura) lives on the breadline in an apartment with her family including husband Antonio (Ángel de Andrés López), who longs to be with a German woman he chauffeured years before, her two sons Miguel (Miguel Ángel Herranz) who is a homosexual and Toni (Juan Martínez), who is a drugs dealer. Then there's Antonio's mother (Chus Lampreave), keeps bottled water and fairy cakes locked away in a cupboard, and has a pet lizard called Money. Gloria has become addicted to cleaning products, but she soon becomes friends with prostitute Cristal (Verónica Forqué), who helps Gloria keep it together when things are bad. But after one unexpected and sudden tragedy, everyone's lives suddenly change. It's a film which owes a debt of gratitude to John Waters' Polyester (1981), it has an amusing sequence with a telekinetic child which predated Roald Dahl's Matilda by a few years, even a plot point from Dahl's own Lamb To The Slaughter is referenced here. But, Almodóvar manages to have fun with the characters and makes what could have been a dark, serious film, into a hilarious and compelling film. 4/5



Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988), after winning critical acclaim for more serious films like Matador (1986) and Law of Desire (1987), Pedro Almodóvar made this homage to the films of Douglas Sirk. It would catapult Almodóvar to international success and he was finally getting recognised in Hollywood, the film was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film. Actress Pepa Marcos (Carmen Maura), is feeling depressed and she's been taking sleeping pills because her boyfriend Iván (Fernando Guillén) has left her. She and Iván do voice over work dubbing foreign films into Spanish. Pepa's friend Candela (María Barranco) is concerned for Pepa's wellbeing, and comes round, before Pepa can explain what's wrong, Ivan's son from a previous relationship Carlos (Antonio Banderas), his mother Lucía (Julieta Serrano) and his fiance Marisa (Rossy de Palma) all turn up, but not to offer support, they're apartment hunting and have come to look at Pepa's apartment. Pepa finds out that her lawyer Paulina (Kiti Manver), is seeing Iván and that they've planned a trip to Stockholm together, and that Lucía now has plans of her own. It's a very confusing character piece, but it's very funny with some good performances. It can get a bit muddled, but Almodóvar has fun along the way, including a chase between a taxi and a motorbike going towards the airport. Thanks to some clever marketing by Orion Pictures, it became a small hit in America. 4/5

Morons From Outer Space (1985), Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones went from Not The Nine O'Clock News to getting their own show on the BBC, but when Thorn EMI offered them their own film, they jumped at the chance to do it. Getting Mike Hodges (Get Carter and Flash Gordon) to direct it, unfortunately, it lacks a good script, because it's stars weren't that much cop at writing. Pity really. It has 4 human like aliens Bernard (Smith), Sandra (Joanne Pearce), Desmond (Jimmy Nail), and Julian (Paul Bown), travelling through space on their ship and crash landing on Earth, on the M1. However, Bernard becomes separated from the group and ends up somewhere in America. Meanwhile, the aliens are taken in by Commander Grenville Matteson (Dinsdale Landen), who conducts tests on them, but is taken over by CIA Col. Raymond Laribee (James Sikking), the aliens escape, and are taken in by rookie reporter Graham Sweetley (Griff Rhys Jones), who becomes their manager and makes them rich and successful. However, when Bernard ends up in a mental asylum, he plans to escape to get to a massive concert they're at in New York, but he's not very intelligent. It had all the right ingredients for a funny film, but a lot of the jokes you've seen elsewhere before, there's bad taste jokes galore and it's just dumb. It didn't help that the producers and the BBFC cut 6 minutes out to make it more family friendly, with a bit more of a savage bite, it could have worked. 2/5



Wilt (1989), in the late 1980's, Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones jumped from the BBC to London Weekend Television, they got their own series and LWT wanted them to do a film as well, and they went for this adaptation of Tom Sharpe's 1976 novel, adapted here by Andrew Marshall and David Renwick. It's an amusing farce, and it's better than Smith and Jones' previous screen outing. Henry Wilt (Jones) is a community studies teacher at a poorly funded college in East Anglia, and he's in an unhappy marriage to Eva (Alison Steadman), who has alienated him so much, he dreams of killing her. However, he soon finds himself at the middle of a murder investigation led by bumbling Inspector Flint (Smith), and Wilt was alleged to have been seen stabbing a woman, but it's all a misunderstanding. He was at a party with his wife a week before, where he ended up tied up naked with a blow-up sex doll. He leaves the party, with the doll in the back of the car, and he dumps it down a hole outside the college where he works, which is filled with concrete. But, when Eva goes missing for real, Wilt has some explaining to do, and Flint believes Wilt is covering something up. It's a very amusing comedy, and it works because they had seasoned writers Marshall and Renwick do the screenplay, and they seemed to have got the joke. Although, some jokes work and some don't, it's still an amusing film with some good gags, and it makes up for Smith and Jones' first big screen venture. 3/5

Anatomy of a Murder (1959), produced and directed by Otto Preminger, this is a dark yet sometimes darkly witty courtroom drama with a very good ensemble cast, adapted from a book by by Michigan Supreme Court Justice John D. Voelker. Despite an epic running time, it manages to hold your attention and it benefits from sharp direction and a jazzy music score. Small-town lawyer Paul Biegler (James Stewart) is struggling to get by and he's trying to get back into the big league of politics after losing the seat of district attorney, he's helped out by friend Parnell McCarthy (Arthur O'Connell) and sardonic secretary Maida Rutledge (Eve Arden). Biegler gets a call from Laura Manion (Lee Remick), wife of the boorish army lieutenant Frederick Manion (Ben Gazzara), who has been accused of the murder of a man called Barney Quill, who Manion claims raped his wife. It goes to court, where Biegler agrees to defend Manion, but he meets his match in the courtroom when he's up against prosecution lawyer Claude Dancer (George C. Scott) and D.A Mitch Lodwick (Brooks West). It's a good drama with good sharp dialogue and Preminger gets the best out of his cast. James Stewart puts in another dine performance while this put George C. Scott on the map as a great actor. It's got noirish cinematography by Sam Leavitt and a memorable jazzy score by Duke Ellington, who appears in the film, jamming with Stewart. 4/5



The Comedy of Terrors (1963), directed by Jacques Tourneur (Cat People (1942) I Walked with a Zombie (1943) and Night of the Demon (1957)), this is a very silly comedy-horror written by Richard Matheson, which just seems like an excuse to get the cast of Tales of Terror (1962) and The Raven (1963) together again, just to ham it up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Somewhere in New England, drunken and scheming undertaker Waldo Trumbull (Vincent Price) is looking to drum up a little business, as no-one seems to be dying lately, and when they do die, they dump the body and reuse the same coffin. His money-grabbing landlord Mr. Black (Basil Rathbone) is on the verge of evicting him, his loud wife Amaryllis (Joyce Jameson) and her father Amos Hinchley (Boris Karloff). But, Trumbull has an idea how to speed up business, he decides to bump Mr. Black off, so that he doesn't have to pay the rent. So Trumbull and his assistant Felix Gillie (Peter Lorre) go to Black's manor to do the deed, and they scare him off, but they find out Black has had bouts of bouts of death-like sleep, and he won't stay dead when Trumbull wants him to. It's a very silly comedy, not scary at all, but with Price hamming it up to high heaven. It has some good set pieces, and it's reminiscent of the Black Cat segment from Tales of Terror, only this is played for laughs with a ginger cat called Rhubarb that steals the show. 3/5

House of Wax (1953), directed by André de Toth (The Stranger Wore a Gun (1953) Thunder Over the Plains (1953) and Man on a String (1960)), this is a short yet effective horror film, with another great performance from it's star, it was also the beginning of the 3D craze in the 1950's, and this has moments that were made for 3D, it also has some very creepy, unsettling moments. Professor Henry Jarrod (Vincent Price) is a devoted wax figure sculptor, whose museum is destroyed by financial partner Matthew Burke (Roy Roberts), who didn't want Jarrod to be bought out by Sidney Wallace (Paul Cavanagh). Jarrod is left with disfigured hands, so years later, he plans to recreate his museum and his works with the help of student Igor (Charles Bronson ). At night, a lone, disfigured man murders women and makes waxworks out of their bodies, when Cathy Gray (Carolyn Jones) is found dead and her body goes missing, her friend Sue Allen (Phyllis Kirk) see's a waxwork in Jarrod's new museum of Joan of Arc whose likeness is like that of Cathy, and she becomes curious as to what's happened, and she becomes suspicious of Jarrod's methods. It's a well made and very lavish horror film, with Price hamming it up again, but in a good way. It has some moments of quite unsetting and upsetting horror, like all the waxworks melting at the start is near unwatchable. But, it's fun seeing Bronson as a mute dummy, 21 years before Death Wish. 4/5



Die, Monster, Die! (1965), known as Monster of Terror in the UK when it first came out, and directed by Daniel Haller (The Wild Racers (1968) and The Dunwich Horror (1970)), and loosely based upon H.P. Lovecraft's 1927 story The Colour Out of Space. This is a creepy horror film that manages to be quite effective, and it has some good moments of horror throughout. It has American scientist Stephen Reinhart (Nick Adams), coming to the English village of Arkham to visit the Witley family, as he intends to marry Susan Witley (Suzan Farmer), but no-one in the village of Arkham will give him a ride up to the Witley estate, meaning he has to go on foot. Near the estate, he finds a huge crater with blacked out trees nearby. He gets to the estate and is given a cold reception by Susan's father Nahum (Boris Karloff), who is non-plussed by Stephen's visit, and the mother Letitia (Freda Jackson), who is bed-ridden with some unseen disease. But, Stephen becomes curious as to what Nahum is working on, and after discovering some huge, mutated vegetables in the greenhouse, he soon starts to worry for the safety of this very disfunctional family. At a mere 76 minutes, it manages to be a very good horror film with some good moments throughout, and Karloff making a creepy old father and scientist, the effects at the end as they fight a weird creature of light is a particular highlight. Oh, and look out for Patrick Magee of A Clockwork Orange as the village doctor. 4/5

Another Time, Another Place (1958), directed by Lewis Allen, who later worked on TV shows like The Fugitive, Mission: Impossible and Little House on the Prairie, this is a tragic wartime melodrama that had a future superstar just starting out up against a current female superstar who had come over to England to make this film. It does feel long, but it manages to have a good story. 1945, and BBC reporter Mark Trevor (Sean Connery) is covering the war in London, but he's also seeing American newspaper correspondent Sara Scott (Lana Turner). It ends with Sara being conflicted on whether to go with Mark, or stay with her current boyfriend Carter Reynolds (Barry Sullivan), who owns the newspaper she works at. She makes her mind up, and decides to go with Mark, who is assigned to go to Paris to cover the war, but he and several other reporters are killed when their plane crashes. Distraught, Sara goes to the village in Cornwall where Mark lives, and she ends up at the seaside cottage where he lived. By chance, she's taken in by Mark's widow Kay (Glynis Johns), who doesn't know that Mark had an affair while the war was on. It's a tragic love story, but Turner gives a good performance and the locations used are lovely, and it's got an interesting cast as well, Sid James appears as an American reporter, while Raymond Burr makes a quick cameo and so does John Le Mesurier. 3/5



The General's Daughter (1999), directed by Simon West, (Con Air (1997), Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) and The Expendables 2 (2012)), this is an enjoyable if formulaic potboiler based upon the 1992 novel by Nelson DeMille. It's a good detective story set in the army, and it's a lot better than what the critics at the time made it out to be, and it's got a good cast as well. Chief Warrant Officer Paul Brenner (John Travolta) poses as other army personal to smoke out illegal arms dealings, one night he meets Captain Elisabeth Campbell (Leslie Stefanson), daughter of General Joe Campbell (James Cromwell), who helps Paul with a flat tyre. A couple of days later, Elisabeth turns up dead at an army outpost, tied down with tent rope and possibly raped. Paul teams up with another warrant officer Sara Sunhill (Madeleine Stowe) to investigate the murder, and they fall into a deceptive and complex web of lies and betrayal, this isn't helped with they find a sex dungeon with a camera in the basement of Elisabeth's house, and Elisabeth's closest confidant Colonel Robert Moore (James Woods) has something to hide as well, as does outpost Colonel William Kent (Timothy Hutton). It's a good thriller with Travolta giving a good performance for once, it's just a shame his next one was Battlefield Earth (2000), but you never see Stowe now, and she's a good actress, while Cromwell and Woods are always welcome to any film. It's better than what they say, and it's got a good setting in the deep south as well. 3.5/5

Revolution (1985), after having success with Chariots of Fire (1981) and Greystoke - The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984), Hugh Hudson was touted to be the next David Lean, but when he went for this epic depicting the American War of Independence, it was plagued by production problems, which left the film confused and half-baked, not helped when producers Goldcrest wanted it out for Christmas 1985. It killed them, but it's not as bad as what the critics make out, it does have it's moments. In 1776, New York fur trapper Tom Dobb (Al Pacino) and his son Ned (Sid Owen) end up getting enrolled in the American army to fight the British, whose grip on the American empire is weakening, and America has signed the declaration of independence. Tom meets Daisy McConnahay (Nastassja Kinski), whose parents (David King and Joan Plowright) still remain loyal to the British monarchy. But, Tom finds himself being taunted by the British, and when his son is taken away by Sgt. Maj. Peasy (Donald Sutherland), he goes to rescue him and ends up with the Indians who end up on his side, also wanting rid of the British. True, it's not a perfect film, Pacino and Sutherland's accents are laughable, Richard O'Brien appears, thinking he's in a pantomime. But, Hugh Hudson has a good eye for visuals, and it's good that he turned King's Lynn into New York, and the battle sequences are well done as well. It's just a shame Goldcrest ruined it for him, a little more time could have made this a true masterpiece. 3/5



Carnage (2011), directed by Roman Polanski, based upon the play God of Carnage by Yasmina Reza. This is a very claustrophobic film that also manages to be absolutely hilarious, with 4 terrific performances, and some great dialogue as well. It's a good chamber piece that's like a more savage and more witty take on Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, only with a lot more nasty talk. After Zachary Cowan (Elvis Polanski) apparantly disfigures Ethan Longstreet (Eliot Berger) with a stick. Ethan's parents Penelope (Jodie Foster) and Michael (John C. Reilly) invite Zachary's parents Nancy (Kate Winslet) and Alan (Christoph Waltz) round to discuss the matter. It's not meant to last very long, only 10-15 minutes, but various circumstances means the Cowan's end up staying longer than usual at the Longstreet's apartment. Michael offers them a fruit cobbler, which leaves Nancy feeling ill and she ends up vomiting over Penelope's rare art books. Alan is talking to a very rich client over the phone about a deal soon to go down, and differences grow between the Longstreet's and the Cowan's, and they end up verbally abusing one another, not helped when Michael gets a very rare whisky out, and they end up being more childish than their kids. It's a good chamber piece, which remains rooted in theatre, but it also manages to be very theatrical indeed. It's a very good film, and it shows that Polanski is finally able to handle comedy, (unlike Pirates (1986)), but it's a very enjoyable film, and Foster, Reilly, Waltz and Winslet are all able to hold their own against one another, and all give twisted performances. 4/5

Rock of Ages (2012), based upon the Chris D'Arienzo rock jukebox musical, that became a huge hit on Broadway when it opened in 2006, the film version has Adam Shankman off Bringing Down The House (2003), Hairspray (2007) and Bedtime Stories (2008) to direct it. It's a very camp and cheesy musical with a bad script and some over the top performances, but the songs are well done and it does have one or two spirited performances. Los Angeles in 1987, and Oklahoma girl Sherrie Christian (Julianne Hough) and is lucky to get a job at the renowned The Bourbon Room on the Sunset Strip, which is owned by Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin), and his right-hand man, Lonny Barnett (Russell Brand). Sherrie becomes friends with Drew Boley (Diego Boneta), who soon becomes romantically involved with her. Meanwhile, the club is having top rock star Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) perform, but Jaxx's scheming manager Paul Gill (Paul Giamatti), screws the club out of money, and see's talent in Drew. Meanwhile, the club's future is under threat from religious conservative Patricia Whitmore (Catherine Zeta-Jones) who wants to see the rock scene in LA be driven out by clean morals. There is a bit too much going on to squeeze into a 2 hour film, but it's camp to high heaven, and it shows the excesses and smugness of the 1980's. But, it manages to work, despite Zeta-Jones being an old ham, the songs are well done and they can hold a note, even Cruise, who has fun. 3/5



Jaws (1975), after making his debut in TV, and having a breakthrough with his TV movie Duel (1971) and then breaking into cinema with The Sugarland Express (1974), Spielberg then became a national treasure with his next film adapted from Peter Benchley's bestseller. His career has never been the same since, and it made him the most successful director of them all. Jaws is set on Amity Island in New England, a small fishing town which gets big tourism every 4th of July. However, when Chrissie Watkins (Susan Backlinie) is killed by a shark, Amity's new police chief, Martin Brody (Roy Scheider), wants the beaches closed, but Amity's mayor Larry Vaughn (Murray Hamilton) doesn't go with it, thinking it will hurt the islands tourism. However, more shark attacks occur, forcing the beaches to be closed. Brody knows the only way to put a stop to it is to kill the shark, he and marine expert Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) go out with local shark hunter Quint (Robert Shaw) to find the shark and kill it. But, they soon find themselves up against a formidable foe. It's a very suspenseful film, which moves along at a good speed. The peformances are brilliant, and it's easy to see why this has been so influential to so many people. It has scares and thrills galore. Spielberg should make more suspenseful films like this. 5/5

Did you see Jaws at the cinema?

Yes I did

I bet that's amazing. It goes from my local cinema today and I won't get the chance. Time to dig out the DVD then.

In A Better World (1st view) - Very good oscar winner - 4/5*



Nativity! (1st view) - Schoolkids put on a nativity. Big whoop - 3/5*



Dawn Of The Dead (2nd view) - Yay, zombies. And scary fast ones, not silly slow ones. Snyder's best film - 4/5



Festen (1st view) - I haven't seen that many Dogme films but I've yet to see one that I really liked. This one got better as it went along but it's fairly forgettable - 3/5*



A Fistful Of Dollars (2nd view) - Eastwood's got great screen presence, the cinematography is amazing and Morricone's score is one of the best things of all time, but's it's a dreary film that feels a good three times its 90 minute runtime - 3/5*



Alien (5th view) - Amazing in every way possible. This is only the second time I've seen the director's cut and the first time since abiout 2003 I've seen any version of the film. I'd forgotten so much after almost 10 yeasr, it was almost like watching it for the first time. The cast are all excellent (special mention to Bilbo Baggins), and the visuals, sound, music, sets, everything works brilliantly to make something intsensly thrilling. There are nitpcky moments I suppose (the laughably excessive self-destruct system feels like something that's be in a spoof film) but are irrelevant in the long run. It really is one of the best films ever made - 5/5



Aliens (4th view) - For ages I've said how much I disliked this film, depsite not having seen it since the late 90s. And I do hate Newt and I especially hate almost all of the Marines (I'm annoyed that two of the ones I hate the most make it until almost the end) but I no longer hate the film. It's really quite good. Doesn't come close to being as brilliant as Alien but there's so much to enjoy - 4/5

The Muppets (2nd view) - Still a bit too schmaltzy and I don't care that much for Walter but the Muppet scenes are as brilliant as ever. Deciding to put on Muppet Show was a great move, the nods to previosu films are brilliant and playing spot the Muppet is almost as much fun as the film itself - 5/5



Alien³ (3rd view) - SPOILERS - The first viewing of the extended cut, and the first time I've seen any version in about 15 years. When it reached the end I was expecting Ripley's death to involve a chestburster. Thinking I'd perhaps dreamt it, I went and looked at the theatrical cut and was surprised to learn that my memories from 15 years ago was correct. I haven't a clue what other chamges have been made, Still I've always thought that this film deserved more credit and I still think that. It certainly has some better characters than Aliens - 4/5



Chain Reaction (4th view) - Silly fun. I was saddened to read in the latest Empire that Rachel Weisz doesn't think much of it - 4/5



Ulzana's Raid (1st view) - Great western with Burt Lancaster on top form - 4/5*



Alien Resurrection (2nd view) - I don't get the hate! Really enjoyed this. I recently said I don't care that much for the Alien films besides the original. I was wrong, But Prometheus is still the second best of the lot! - 4/5



Safe House (1st view) - Not bad. Washington could do things like this in his sleep - 3/5*



Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (1st view) - A great big pile of oscar-baiting crap - 2/5*



Triple Cross (1st view) - The quite intersting life of wartime spy Eddie Chapman turned into a not very interesting film - 2/5*



The Dirty Dozen (3rd view) - Ace WWII adventure - 4/5



The Thing (1st view) - Not bad at all - 4/5*

Resurrected (1st view) - The debut film from Greengrass and just as good any of his acclaimed films from the last decade. David Thewlis is on top form as the Falklands soldier who retruns home a hero but faces accusations of desertion - 4/5*




Men In Black III (1st view) - Better than part 2 but it doesn't come close to matching the original. Josh Brolin and Michael Stuhlberg are the standouts - 3/5*

Crimes of Passion (1984), Ken Russell had finally gone to America with Altered States (1980), despite it's success, he found it hard to get another film made and after directing opera in Europe and Australia, he was offered this lurid sex thriller written by Barry Sandler (The Mirror Crack'd (1980)), it does show the direction Ken would have taken had he stayed in Hollywood, but he soon got bored with it and came home, the film has some good moments though. In Los Angeles, Joanna Crane (Kathleen Turner) is an employee for a successful fashion design company, but when it's suspected that Joanna has been selling design patterns to his competitors, electronics whiz Bobby Grady (John Laughlin) is asked to keep an eye on Joanna to see whether she's really doing it, but Joanna moonlights as prostitute China Blue, in a blonde wig with make-up and a glittery blue dress, Grady discovers Joanna's double life, but he promises to keep it secret. But, Joanna as China Blue is in trouble from the obsessive Reverend Peter Shayne (Anthony Perkins), who gives sermons in the street and watches prostitutes while doing drugs and shaming them later. It's a complex thriller with a lot of Ken's usual touches, a wedding video (where composer Rick Wakeman cameos) is a particular, peculiar highlight. It does feel a bit overlong, but Ken manages to get good performances from all concerned, if Ken had stuck with this, he might have just made it big in Hollywood. 4/5



The Lair of the White Worm (1988), at the end of the 1980's, Ken Russell found himself with a deal with small American distributor Vestron Pictures, who released Gothic (1986), but offered to release Ken's next 3 films, Salome's Last Dance (1988), The Rainbow (1989) and this, based upon Bram Stoker's 1911 novel. It's a very lurid and insane film, which was Ken's last stab at lunacy before he shied away from cinema after Whore (1991). It has Scottish archaeology student Angus Flint (Peter Capaldi) doing an archaeological dig in the gardens of a bed and breakfast belonging to sisters Mary (Sammi Davis) and Eve (Catherine Oxenberg). Angus finds a large skull thought to be that of a snake, but he finds it ties in to a local legend of the d'Ampton worm, who was slain many years ago. Angus meets James d'Ampton (Hugh Grant) and gets him to go on an expedition to Stonerich Cavern, where the worm was allegedly slain. They stay at the nearby house belonging to Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe), who isn't what she seems, and the plot thickens when Angus and the sisters discover a network of tunnels leading to underneath Stonerich Cavern. It's absolutely insane, with a rock-folk jamboree at a civilised ball, a vampirish creature who seems to go for the groin and a climax from a Universal horror. But, you have to love Ken for going for this, it's what you'd expect from him. It's got a good cast, and requisite sex and nudity, what Ken is best at, it's his last hurrah before he went to make films in his garage. 4/5

Waterloo (1970), Sergei Bondarchuk had spent 6 years making his 4 part, 7 hour long take on War and Peace. As his follow up, Dino De Laurentiis offered him this epic on the latter life of Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, a massive co-production between Italy and the U.S.S.R. It has the hallmarks of a classic film, but it does have it's shortcomings despite some brilliantly staged battle sequences. It begins in at the Château de Fontainebleau in 1814, where Napoleon Bonaparte (Rod Steiger) is forced to abdicate after the Austrians conquer Paris, and he is offered a peaceful exile to the island of Elba in the Mediterranean. But, a year later, he escapes from the island and sails back to France with an army of just 1000 soldiers, with the objective of overthrowing the restored king of France, Louis XVIII (Orson Welles), who quickly escapes. Napoleon learns of the Duke of Wellington (Christopher Plummer) leading the British into battle with the Prussian army, led by Marschall Blücher (Sergo Zaqariadze). However, Napoleon leads the French into battle against the British at Waterloo in Belgium, beforehand the Prussian army retreat, but Wellington has a good battle plan. The battle itself is well staged, with over 15,000 Soviet Army soldiers used during the filming, but it's a flawed film with some inconsistencies, (Bondarchuk did a 4 hour cut shown in Russia, it's since vanished without trace.) It does have it's moments, and it has a good cast as well, but it's a bit overblown, like many of the epics of that period. But, this stopped Kubrick from getting his Napoleon film made. Oh, well. 3.5/5



Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982), after making his name as a film star in The Jerk (1979), Steve Martin and director Carl Reiner had come up with the idea for this film as a joke over dinner, but from there, the joke grew. Martin and Reiner worked on a script, which came to be an affectionate and clever homage and parody to the film-noirs and detective stories of years gone by. It's one of Martin's best films, and it has some excellent jokes. Private investigator Rigby Reardon (Martin) is visited by Juliet Forrest (Rachel Ward), daughter of renowned scientist and cheesemaker John Hay Forrest (George Gaynes), who was killed in a car crash. Juliet asks Rigby to investigate her father's murder, and who was behind it, it takes him through the dark streets, the nightclubs and alleys of Los Angeles, he gets help from his 'partner' Marlowe (Humphrey Bogart from The Big Sleep), as well as getting help from femme fatales Doris Devermont (Bette Davis, from Deception), Monica Stillpond (Veronica Lake, from The Glass Key) and Monica Stillpond (Veronica Lake, from The Glass Key), but he gets beaten up and shot a lot along the way. It's a hilarious film, where Martin does a brilliantly deadpan comic routine, and plays well against the film stars of yesteryear like Kirk Douglas, Cary Grant, Vincent Price and Charles Laughton.) It has a silly story, but you don't care about that, the attention to detail and cleverness of it all will keep you laughing. 4.5/5