What I've Just Watched: Part 2

Shivers (1975), after making his start with short arthouse films, short films and films for Canadian TV, David Cronenberg finally got his foot in the door of cinema thanks to producer Ivan Reitman taking advantage of Canadian tax incentives. The film caused controversy at the time within the Canadian parliament, but it was a success and helped Cronenberg get into cinema. Set in an apartment block on the outskirts of Montreal, it has Dr. Emil Hobbes (Fred Doederlin) doing some unorthodox experiments with parasites in transplants, and develops a parasite that is a cross between an aphrodisiac and a venereal disease. It isn't long before it takes over most of the residents in the apartment block. Including Nicholas Tudor (Allan Migicovsky) who has moving growths within his stomach, and ends up vomiting parasites, which get into the water of the apartment complex. So, it falls down to the the complex's doctor Roger St. Luc (Paul Hampton), and his assistant, Nurse Forsythe (Lynn Lowry) and scientist Rollo Linsky (Joe Silver) to try and put a stop to this. It's not as polished as Cronenberg's future films, and it's very round around the edges, made for $179,000, and shot in 15 days. It's a cheap little schlock horror with some moments, you could see where Cronenberg was going. 3/5



Rabid (1977), after Shivers did well in on it's release around the world, writer/director David Cronenberg and producer Ivan Reitman teamed up once again with more money, all from the Canadian taxpayer, it's a twist on vampire mythology in a way, without using teeth to suck blood out. It's more action packed, but still fun. It has motorcycle accident victim Rose (Marilyn Chambers) having a new skin graft operation done by pioneering surgeon Dr. Dan Keloid (Howard Ryshpan), the operation is a success, maybe too much of a success, as Rose's skin heals, but it develops a orifice under her left armpit, with a stinger inside, that drinks blood from unsuspecting victims. Rose checks herself out of the hospital she was admitted to, and goes on a rampage around Montreal. Whoever she targers with her stinger becomes a rabid zombie, and it isn't long before Montreal declares marshal law to try and put a stop to this outbreak, but who would ever suspect someone as sweet and innocent as Rose would do something like that?? Like Shivers, it is another schlocky horror, but it touches upon the themes of body horror that Cronenberg would come to again throughout his films in the next decade to come. After this, he was given more money for his films, and his star just went on the rise. 3/5

The Bad News Bears (1976), one of the big hits of 1976, a likeable, directed by Michael Ritchie, who did The Candidate (1972), Fletch (1985) and The Golden Child (1986), this is an enjoyable little comedy, with a brilliant child cast. It's a film about the dangers of being competitive and it's a nostalgic picture of a freer time in our recent history. Set in a small California community, it has drunken pool cleaner and former baseball player Morris Buttermaker (Walter Matthau), taking on the job of coach to coach little league baseball team The Bears, who are a bunch of absolute misfits, and couldn't play baseball for toffee. Noticing they have absolutely no chance at any success, Buttermaker recruits his former girlfriends daughter Amanda Wurlitzer (Tatum O'Neal), who is an excellent pitcher and local motorcycling troublemaker Kelly Leak (Jackie Earle Haley) who is a brilliant athlete. Buttermaker fills the team with confidence to beat local rivals The Rivals, led by coach Roy Turner (Vic Morrow). It's an entertaining film, with a great lead performance by Matthau, and the kids are all entertaining, and Jackie Earle Haley makes a good troublemaker, who'd have thought he'd become Rorschach?? It was followed by 2 sequels and a remake. 3/5



Always (1989), after making Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989), Steven Spielberg decided to do a remake of Victor Fleming's A Guy Named Joe (1943), which was one of his favourite films. But, he updated the plot from World War 2, to present day aerial firefighters. It's a slow burning romantic drama, unfairly criticised, but it is a whimsical, poignant take on loss and coming to terms. It has aerial firefighter Pete Sandich (Richard Dreyfuss) who is in a relationship with dispatcher Dorinda Durston (Holly Hunter), he undertakes daring missions to put out forest fires. However, on one mission, Pete is killed in action trying to save his best friend Al Yackey (John Goodman), and finds himself on the edge of heaven, but is sent back to Earth by angel Hap (Audrey Hepburn) to be a guardian angel over novice pilot Ted Baker (Brad Johnson), who goes to work for Al, taking Pete's place, and Ted falls for Dorinda, but Pete cannot let go of the woman he loved, and still wants to say so much to her. It's a film about saying goodbye, and being unable to let go. It has some good performances in it, and the forest fire and aerial stunts are quite amazing. But the film has a quite sentimental, dated feel about it, a departure from what Spielberg used to do back then, but it's still pleasant enough fare. 3/5

Paranormal Activity (1st view) - As with The Blair witch Project a decade ago and REC last year, I saw this alone, late at night and in the dark. I really should stop doing that, as I'm a big wet lettuce. This really creeped me out, even if the ending was a bit silly - 4/5




Swing Vote (1st view) - Kevin Costner stars as slacker Bud Johnson, and circumstances conspire so that U.S. presidential election is determined bu his vote, making him a celebrity figure. Not bad at all, but it watses the likes of Stanley Tucci and Nathan Lane in minor roles - 4/5*




Queen: Live At Wembley Stadium (1st view) - OK, so this probably isn't counted as a film at all, but I rarely watch concerts so I'm including it! . For many years, it was only available in truncated form on VHS, or in full on CD, but the whole thing is now available on DVD. And it's awesome! Great songs great music, great showmanship, wonderful to finally see in full. It's a real shame that there aren't more complete Queen concerts to be seen. Some of the audio bootlegs are spectacular and wathing them would b a joy. But this is excellent, and certainly the best of the ones that do exist. Brilliant - 5/5*

M. Butterfly (1993), after the release of Naked Lunch (1991), David Cronenberg made a bit of a departure from the horrors that he normally did, by adapting David Henry Hwang's award winning play for the big screen. At the time, alot of critics attacked it for being a cheap cash-in on The Crying Game. Quite unfair, but look again, it's more Cronenbergian than what some people would lead you to believe. Set in Beijing in 1964, it has French Diplomat René Gallimard (Jeremy Irons), who becomes obsessed with a Chinese opera performer Song (John Lone), who is actually spying on Gallimard for the Chinese Government. But, Gallimard begins an affair with Song, although Song is actually a male, but Gallimard is willfully unaware of this. But, when Gallimard is promoted to the French Ambassador's intelligence division, the relationship gets more dangerous, and Gallimard even commits treason by telling secret information to Song, unaware that Song is passing it on, which eventually has dire consequences. It is a lesser film in Cronenberg's CV, his biggest departure since the racing film Fast Company (1979), and also his first film to be shot outside Canada. But, it is a rich, lavish film brilliantly designed, beautifully photographed and well acted. If this is a departure for Cronenberg, then A Dangerous Method (2011) looks to be one as well. 3/5



Celebrity (1998), Woody Allen's last film to be shot in Black and White, it shares themes with Allen's Zelig, about the lure, the power and the destructiveness of being famous. It has a good cast all giving great performances, but there's something a bit off about this one. There's no fireworks to the story, it all feels just a little bit flat, despite good intentions. Lee Simon (Kenneth Branagh, impersonating Woody), is a failed author turned travel writer, who has taken a turn into doing celebrity journalism. He's just gone through a divorce with his insecure wife Robin (Judy Davis), who is now in a relationship with television producer Tony Gardella (Joe Mantegna). Lee meanwhile has fleeting encounters with celebrities such as actress Nicole Oliver (Melanie Griffith), a glamourous supermodel (Charlize Theron) and spoilt young actor Brandon Darrow (Leonardo DiCaprio). Lee can't seem to come to terms with hanging around with celebrities, and that it's a very different world indeed, something which Robin soon learns when she works for Tony. There's few laughs to be had in this film billed as a comedy, which is a shame, it's more of a biting satire on the hardships of fame, and something like this could have used Woody's presence. Oh, well. 2/5

Eastern Promises (2007), David Cronenberg heads to the seedy and violent underworld of London, it was an ideal follow-up to his modern day western A History of Violence (2005), and it saw Cronenberg reunited with that film's star, who puts in a powerful performance filled with mystery. Set during one Christmas, this has midwife Anna (Naomi Watts), trying to find out the identity of a Russian girl who died in childbirth. After having the girls diary translated, Anna becomes involved with the Russian Mafia, run by Semyon (Armin Mueller-Stahl), with his son Kirill (Vincent Cassel), and in the background, their mysterious chauffeur Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen). Anna digs deeper into who the father of the baby might be, but soon her family comes under threat, and Nikolai seems to be an ominous presence, but you're not exactly sure which side he's on. An excellent and violent gangster film, with some typical Cronenberg hallmarks of identity and violence And there is a lot of violence, from every barbers worse nightmare to a bath house fight. But it has terrific performances from Mortensen, Watts and all concerned. This isn't just another London gangster film 5/5



Inception (2010), Christopher Nolan returns with his first original film since Memento (2000), and he's raised the stakes with this one in concept, scale and ambition. It is a strange but always entertaining piece of cinema, it is complex, but it's also understandable, with some brilliant ideas on display here. Nolan has easily made one better than The Dark Knight, and even Memento or The Prestige. This has corporate thief Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) who uses a form of technology where he can get into people's dreams and steal ideas and secrets from top businessmen. However, he's in exile from America, where his two children are, but he is given a shot at redemption by Japanese businessman Saito (Ken Watanabe) for one last job, not to steal ideas, but to plant one, specifically, into the mind of Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy), who is the son of Saito's business rival, and this idea is to split up Fischer's father's empire. So Cobb, along with his sidekick Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), new dream architect Ariadne (Ellen Page) and forger Eames (Tom Hardy), but Cobb is plagued by visions of his dead wife Mal (Marion Cotillard). This is a film which has moments which make you wonder "how on earth did they do THAT!?" But, Nolan makes his idea perfectly understandable without having to dive into the logics and philosophies of how dream states work. It is a refreshing change to all the big budget films out there today, and with a brilliant cast rounded out with Tom Berenger, Pete Postlethwaite and Michael Caine. Nolan is truly one of the best filmmakers around today, and certainly an exciting one. More please!! 5/5

I've been wanting to see Celebrity for a long time now. Really not that good, Don?


Inception (1st view) - Mindboggling at times, but for the most part it keeps a complex idea nice and simple. Looks spectacular, a great cast, awesome score, excellent overall - 4/5*

Dean Spanley (1st view) - I love seeing films that I know bugger all about. With this, I knew who it starred and that it was a New Zealand film. Other than that, a blank slate and I think that helped a great deal. A wonderfully charming and moving film, with excellent performances, especially from Sam Neill and Peter O'Toole.

Celebrity was lacking something, I don't know what. I'll let you make up your mind. Anyways...

Heartbreak Ridge (1986), Clint Eastwood rides again. Between his old school western Pale Rider (1985) and his Charlie Parker biopic Bird (1988), he made a light little war action comedy, which was based around the 1983 U.S. invasion of Grenada, West Indies. It's a good little film, not a masterpiece, but still enjoyable. It has Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Highway (Eastwood), who is facing retirement, but is given a chance to go back to his old unit in the Marine Corps. He finds that his platoon are a bunch of undisciplined Marines, whose previous drill Sergeant let them slack off. Highway is going to have non of that, and is determined to get his platoon into shape, and his methods are unconventional and unorthodox, much to the ire of Highway's boss, commanding officer, Major Malcolm Powers (Everett McGill). To make matters worse, Highway's ex Aggie (Marsha Mason) is working in a nearby bar, dating Marine hating Roy Jennings (Bo Svenson). Highway wants to win her back, but it won't be easy. It has some very cheesy silly moments, with Clint at his most macho and over the top. But, it has some good moments, and gets better when the action heads overseas. Eastwood's presence is the glue that holds the film together. 3.5/5



Toy Story 3 (2010), rumoured for over a decade, and after a few false starts. Toy Story 3 becomes a trilogy, and it gives the series of films a sense of closure. It is alot more emotionally driven than the first 2 films, but it is also hilarious and a brilliant action packed adventure. Yep, Pixar have done it again, and it's, so far, the best film of 2010. Alot of time has moved on, Andy (John Morris) is now 17 years old, and has just graduated from high school and is going to college. His old toys have been in a chest in his room for years, but he decides to take Woody (Tom Hanks) with him to college, leaving the other toys, including Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen), Hamm (John Ratzenberger), Jessie (Joan Cusack), Rex (Wallace Shawn), Mr. Potato Head (Don Rickles) and Slinky Dog (Blake Clark) to go in the attic. However, they all accidentally end up at Sunnyside Daycare. In charge of the toys are Lots-O'-Huggin' Bear (Ned Beatty) and Ken (Michael Keaton). It seems like paradise, but all is not what it seems at this place, and there's something dark and sinister about it, so the toys decide to escape, but it won't be easy. It's a brilliant adventure with some brilliant moments of slapstick and action and suspense. It's like being reunited with a group of old friends you haven't seen in years. It is a very emotional film, and it's heartbreaking by the end. But, if a film can pull at one's emotions like that, all of them, then it's succeeded. 5/5

Katyn (1st view) - From Polish director Andrzej Wajda, this chronicles events surrounding the Katyn massacre of 1940, in which some 22,000 Polish POWs were executed by the Soviets. Wajda's father was a victim of these events, and I think the personal connection comes through in the film. A very powerful film - 4/5*

Clerks (1994), this is where it all began for Kevin Smith, the film that set the ball rolling for his career, gave the world endlessly quotable dialogue. Made for a meagre $27,000 off alot of borrowed money (which Smith made back when he sold the rights to Miramax Films), it became an instant cult hit, and remains one to this day. It has Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran), a clerk at the Quick Stop Convienience store, who is asked to work on his day off, (cue the repeated line "I'm not even supposed to be here today!!"), he hates the job and he hates the customers even more. Next door, there's a video shop which Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson) works at, he has no respect for the customers either, and he'd rather hang out next door at the Quick Stop with Dante. It's a funny situation because it's true, and even the dialogue sounds believeable ("I'M 37!?" ), but the film is right in it's message, most customers are assholes, but it's a living. For Smith, the rest was history, and he's made some equally good films as this, and it introduced the two stoners Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) upon the world. It hasn't been the same since!! 5/5



Clerks II (2006), Kevin Smith returned to familiar ground with this belated sequel to the original film which put him on the map, it's like a reunion with old friends, and you'll be pleased to know that they haven't grown up one bit. After the Quick Stop Convieniance burns down, Dante (Brian O'Halloran) and Randall (Jeff Anderson) find themselves working at a Mooby's Fast Food Restaurant, (a popular chain in the View Askewniverse), Dante is planning on leaving to move to Florida with his girlfriend Emma Bunting (Jennifer Schwalbach Smith), but he soons finds he has feelings for his boss Becky (Rosario Dawson), meanwhile Randall takes pleasure in winding up his Transformers/LOTR fanboy co-worker Elias (Trevor Fehrman). Oh, and Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Smith) are back too!! This is Kevin Smith back to what he does best, he had a low budget for this, and he was back on familiar ground. It's good to see the old gang again, the obscenities come thick and fast, and it does have some very funny moments in it, and Randal does make a good point about LOTR. Plus, there's the grand finale with a donkey, and some cameos by Jason Lee and Ben Affleck!! 4/5

True Romance (1993), this was the first screenplay Quentin Tarantino ever wrote, this was back in the 1980's. However, he made Reservoir Dogs (1992) as his debut, he decided to let Tony Scott direct this film, which QT has called "his most autobiographical film". Maybe that's why he couldn't direct it, but it is a brilliant film, with an amazing cast and made a great director. It has movie buff Clarence Worley (Christian Slater) meeting call girl Alabama Whitman (Patricia Arquette), who was hired by Clarence's boss as a birthday present. Alabama falls in love with Clarence, and they marry. Clarence tells Alabama's pimp Drexl Spivey (Gary Oldman) that he's married, and wants to cut ties. It ends in murder, and Clarence ends up with a suitcase full of pure uncut cocaine, who they decide to give it to Clarence's actor friend Dick Ritchie (Michael Rapaport) living in Hollywood, he has contacts, such as actor Elliot (Bronson Pinchot) who knows movie producer Lee Donowitz (Saul Rubinek) who will have it, but unknown to Clarence and Alabama, gangster Vincenzo Coccotti (Christopher Walken) is hot on their tail, looking for the cocaine. This is a smart, savvy film with great dialogue and some brilliant performances, also including Val Kilmer as Clarence's mentor Elvis Presley, Brad Pitt as junkie Floyd and Dennis Hopper as Clarence's Dad Clifford, who gives a brilliant speech in the film. Filled with Scott's usual flair for amazing glossy visuals and fast editing. This is a clever, funny and surprising film that never gets boring. 5/5



Countess Dracula (1971), nothing to do with Hammer Horror's long-running Dracula series, this one is actually closer in tone and structure to Hammer's Karnstein Trilogy, it's based on legends of a "Blood Countess" who lived in Hungary in the 17th Century, and that makes the setting for this gruesome but compelling tale. This has the elderly Countess Elisabeth Nádasdy (Ingrid Pitt) who has just inherited a castle from a relative, and she accidentally discovers that she can become young again if she bathes in the blood of young women. She gets the castle's steward Captain Dobi (Nigel Green) to assist in the kidnapping and murder of young girls from the area, in her youthful state, Elisabeth poses as her daughter Ilona Nadasdy (Lesley-Anne Down), who is being held in a house outside of town. The youthful Elisabeth falls for Lt. Imre Toth (Sandor Elès, off Crossroads), but to keep the illusion that she is young, she needs more and more blood. Then, the castle historian Grand Master Fabio (Maurice Denham) learns of what is going on. It is a dark and brooding tale, through it has it's moments of Hammer silliness, but when the gore comes it's all good. Pitt gives a great performance both young and old. It does end a bit abruptly though, but alot of Hammer films did that. 4/5

Predators (1st view) - I've heard a lot of people say that this film fails because it's awful in comparison to the original. But Predator, like almost all macho, testosterone-fuelled action "classics" from the 80s, is pretty crap. It really is all kinds of uselessness. Not that this is much better, but it won't be worshipped in 20 years time, and there's gratification to be had in being proved right when you guess every turn of the plot. It's enjoyable ebnough if you're in the right frame of mind. It should be noted that I only saw this because plans to see Toy Story 3 fell through

The Wreck of the Mary Deare (1959), based on the 1956 novel by Hammond Innes, this is a good old fashioned adventure film from director Michael Anderson, best known for The Dam Busters (1955), Around the World in Eighty Days (1956) and Logan's Run (1976). It does sag a little bit in the middle with the courtroom action, but it's enjoyable while it lasts. It begins in the English Channel, and has rescue boat captain John Sands (Charlton Heston) discovering a freighter called the Mary Deare drifting around, there's been a fire on board, the ship seems deserted, and Sands thinks he will get a big salvage fee for finding this ship, but then he discovers First Officer Gerald Patch (Gary Cooper) on board. Back on dry land, the matter of why the Mary Deare was abandoned is taken to court, and nothing is what it seems, why did the crew abandon ship?? Why was Patch still on board?? Was he hiding something?? The ship had just come back from Rangoon, but not with the cargo it seems to have claimed it had. It is the sort of adventure film you don't get anymore, the seabound sequences are well done indeed, but it's a pity it slows down back on dry land. To think that Alfred Hitchcock was asked to do this, but he couldn't make it work the way he wanted it to, so he did North By Northwest (1959) instead. 3/5



Apocalypse Now (1979), after the double whammy and Oscar success of the first two Godfather films, Francis Ford Coppola now had the power to make whatever film he wanted to. He chose this loose adaptation of Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness, only relocated within the madness and horror of the Vietnam War. It is Coppola's masterpiece, a film of such grand ambition and scope that it shows how the pointlessness of war can bring out the darkness in man. It has near-burnt out Special Ops Captain Benjamin L. Willard (Martin Sheen) who is sent on a mission to Cambodia to find Special Forces Colonel Walter E. Kurtz (Marlon Brando) who has gone renegade and insane. Willard is sent on a patrol boat up river with a crew including commander QMC George "Chief" Phillips (Albert Hall), GM3 Lance B. Johnson (Sam Bottoms), GM3 Tyrone Miller (Laurence Fishburne) a.k.a. "Mr. Clean", and EN3 Jay "Chef" Hicks (Frederic Forrest). Along the way they see a Playboy USO show, surfing enthusiast Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall) and then onto Kurtz's compound... It's a film about one man's decent into hell and back, and he'll never be the same again, Sheen has never been better, Brando adds mistique to the proceedings and Coppola's epic vision is awe-inspiring. Despite the nightmarish production, it stands as the best war film ever made, look out for Harrison Ford and Dennis Hopper's appearances too. You won't forget this in a hurry. 5/5

Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel (2009), a little low-budget British film which made a little bit of a buzz at some film festivals last year. It's a good little film, done by TV director Gareth Carrivick, (sadly no longer with us), and it's amusing in all the right places, and it doesn't outstay it's welcome. It begins when Ray (Chris O'Dowd) is fired from his job at a local theme park, but his friends Pete (Dean Lennox Kelly) and Toby (Marc Wootton) who also work at the theme park come round for him and take him on a night out to the cinema and then the pub, they all like sci-fi and talk about it. At the pub, Ray meets Cassie (Anna Faris), who claims she is a time traveller and that her job is to repair time leaks. However, non of Ray's friends believe any of it, and then they go to the pub toilet, and discover it's there that's the leak to time travel. And they end up going backwards and forwards in time, and forward to a time where they're hailed as saviours of the pub, but why?? And can they get back to their own time?? It's a very slight British comedy, not perfect, but it's enjoyable and it has a likeable cast with some good laughs to be found throughout, and proves what you can do with a good idea and a bit of money. 3.5/5



Casino Royale (1967), a kick in the balls to the original Bond films. This was the result of a troubled production and too much money. The new version may have washed away the memory of this one, but at least they had the courage to make a film like this. This has Sir James Bond (David Niven) comes out of retirement to take on SMERSH, but in order to trick SMERSH, every available agent is renamed James Bond. One of which, Baccarat expert Evelyn Tremble (Peter Sellers) is sent to take on Le Chiffre (Orson Welles) in a game of baccarat at Casino Royale, but there's a bigger force at work, including the mysterious Dr. Noah. The film is like some horrific car accident, the sort you can't tear your eyes away from, and it's amazing to watch. It took 5 directors (Val Guest, Ken Hughes, John Huston, Joseph McGrath and Robert Parrish), to do it, some of it work, other bits don't. But, it did have a good cast, including Peter Sellers, David Niven, Orson Welles, Ursula Andress, Woody Allen, Ronnie Corbett, William Holden, Bernard Cribbins, Geoffrey Bayldon, Derek Nimmo, John Wells, Chic Murray with Peter O'Toole and Deborah Kerr!! Without this film, there would have been no Austin Powers!! 4/5

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (1st view) - Much better than I'd expected. Very. very funny, I laughed out loud on numerous occasions, and an excellent voice cast - 4/5*

Oil City Confidential (2009), from Julien Temple, best known for music documentaries such as The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle (1979), The Filth and the Fury (2000), Glastonbury (2006) and Joe Strummer: The Future Is Unwritten (2007) comes this compelling and entertaining documentary about one of the great rock and blues bands of the 1970's whose influences are still felt today. The band in question are Dr. Feelgood, whose origins are in Canvey Island, Essex. A town situated below sea level who were hit by a big flood in 1953. But, out of this town on the so called "Thames Delta" came 4 men. Lee Brilleaux, Wilko Johnson, John Martin (The Big Figure) and John B. Sparkes (Sparks), who formed Dr. Feelgood, who grew from their home town to London and then Europe and beyond, having Number 1 hits and even having a following in America. But, hardships within the band followed, leading to a sad fallout between once good friends Brilleaux and Johnson. It's a good story, and there's something quaint and eccentric about the town of Canvey Island as well. It's compared within the documentary to being like a British equivelant to the Mississippi Delta, and there is similiarities. But, Dr. Feelgood's music was excellent and this documentary does them justice. 4/5



Live and Let Die (1973), after Sean Connery walked from James Bond for what seemed like the last time, the producers cast long-time Bond candidate Roger Moore in the role. And thus began a 12 year, 7 film relation with one of the best ever Bonds, and Moore got off to a great start with this one, an up-to-date Bond with a cool, exciting attitude. This has James Bond (Moore) investigating the murders of 3 British agents, with one man connecting them, Dr. Kananga (Yaphet Kotto), the president of San Monique, an island in the Carribean. This mission takes Bond from the mean streets of Harlem in New York, to the voodoo of San Monique, then to New Orleans, Louisiana, and the surrounding swamps and bayous. He becomes involved with Kananga's personal Tarot card reader Solitaire (Jane Seymour) and the mysterious Harlem gangster, Mr. Big. The tone of this one is like a blaxploitation film with pimpmobiles and black gangsters, but that was the only way at the time to bring Ian Fleming's rather racist novel to the big screen, and it works. Moore's lighter touch suits the mood of the time, a reluctant killer. It's a brilliant piece of entertainment, also featuring the boat-chase, Bond using crocodiles as stepping stones and Paul and Linda McCartney's epic theme song. One of the best Bonds of them all. 4.5/5

Shrek Forever After (2010), after the low-point of Shrek The Third (2007), many people seemed to think that was it, no more Shrek films, and a bit of a bad way to go out too. Nope, the producers still had one more adventure for the titular ogre, and it's a much better film than the previous installment, but alot of the jokes and storyline are predictable, even if there is fun to be found. It has Shrek (Mike Myers) struggling to come to terms with his new found celebrity status, and married life with Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) isn't all it's cracked up to be. Shrek wishes for just one day when he could go back to the way things used to be, and then he meets wheeler-dealer con artist Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn), who says that he'll grant him one day where he can be a real ogre again. Which Rumpelstiltskin grants, unfortunately, Shrek gave away one day in his life in return for the deal, the day he was born, so he doesn't exist, Rumpelstiltskin is now King of Far Far Away, uses Ogre's as slaves, and not even Donkey (Eddie Murphy) or Puss In Boots (Antonio Banderas) know Shrek. Now Shrek has 24 hours to put things right, and break the deal and get his life back. It's a good little twist on the It's A Wonderful Life what-if? scenario. And this should give the series the closure it now deserves. Some of it works, some of it doesn't, but it has good moments, like The Pied Piper. And there's the Puss In Boots spin-off coming soon too. 3/5



The A-Team (2010), the big screen version of the classic 1980's action TV series finally arrives, after about 15 years in development hell. It took director Joe Carnahan, off Narc (2002) and Smokin' Aces (2007) and producers Ridley and Tony Scott to bring it to the big screen, and with much relief, it captures the spirit of the original series down to the ground. After coming together in Mexico, and now stationed in Iraq, it has an elite combat unit which consists of John "Hannibal" Smith (Liam Neeson), Templeton "Face" Peck (Bradley Cooper), B.A. Baracus (Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson) and H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock (Sharlto Copley) being assigned by CIA Agent Lynch (Patrick Wilson) on a mission which involves the recovery of U.S. treasury plates from Iraqi insurgents, and that ends with the murder of their commanding officer, General Morrison (Gerald McRaney). Someone set them up, they're all sent to jail, but they're determined to clear their names, and escape, even with Face's lover DCIS Captain Charissa Sosa (Jessica Biel) on their tail, they won't give in, not if they have a plan. It's a great piece of entertainment, which is above and beyond all, great fun, doing the sort of action you could imagine the original A-Team doing, the cast are all great, (Sharlto Copley's Murdock is the best), it doesn't matter if the plot is all over the place, it's still enjoyable from start to finish. 4/5

The A Team (1st view) - SPOILERS

I've never seen the show so have no particular nostalgic leanings towards this film, and I never thought that Mr T was the coolest dude ever (though I did once have his autograph which I've now lost). The show did have a fine then tune though, thankfully reused in the film. I'll happily watch Liam Neeson in anything and he was more than watchable in this, as was Sharlto Copley, though his performance was nothing compared to last years debut. But I've read glowing reviews that say this was funny with lots of inventive action. It wasn't funny at all really, although it may not have helped that I couldn't figure out what was being said half the time and the choppy editing annoyed me as well. Apart from one gloriously brilliant OTT sequence involving a tank, the action wasn't all that special either, and if this had been the 4th film in the series, "sank the container ship" would be the new "nuked the fridge". And Quinton Jackson as B.A was terrible. Really, do not give your worst actor the only plotline that requires any sort of emotional conveyance because it comes off as laughable. Yet despite all that I actually enjoyed myself watching it - 3/5

El Mariachi (1992), the debut feature of Robert Rodriguez, who has made a career of multitasking on all his films. He made this one for an unbelievable $7,000, and picked up for distribution by Columbia Pictures, and it would put Rodriguez on the road to make big Hollywood films, most of them from the comfort of his home town in Austin, Texas. Set and shot in the town of Acuña, Coahuila, Mexico. This has the titular wandering Mariachi (Carlos Gallardo) coming into town, and looking for work in the local bars as a mariachi like his father and grandfather did. Meanwhile, Meanwhile, a recently escaped prisoner called Azul (Reinol Martínez) is seeking revenge against his former partner Moco (Peter Marquardt), who made off with a share of money. Now, Azul is killing off Moco's men using a cache of weapons he keeps hidden in a guitar case. However, when Moco sends a group of hitmen to kill Azul, they mistake El Mariachi for the villian, sending El Mariachi on the run, but he finds refuge with local bar owner Dominó (Consuelo Gómez), but not for long though. This shows what you can do with a little bit of imagination and creative filmmaking. It's done with a good sense of humour, and a very offbeat style, which Rodriguez has continued with throughout his career. He continues to make movies for low-budgets, but they always come out looking more than they cost. 4/5



Desperado (1995), after El Mariachi (1992) hit big, Robert Rodriguez was given a bigger budget by Columbia Pictures to do a sequel to the film, however, alot of people say it's a remake. But it's not, but maybe it is, or maybe it's both. But, it's still a good piece of entertainment, with good action and good performances, and it saw Rodriguez improve his style. This has El Mariachi (Antonio Banderas) seeking revenge for the death of his lover, and he's going after drugs criminal Bucho (Joaquim de Almeida), and once again El Mariachi is mistaken for a hitman, and a very high body count follows, and he finds refuge with local bookstore owner Carolina (Salma Hayek), who works for Bucho. Then Bucho learns that Carolina has been hiding El Mariachi, and he's being followed by another man in black known as Navajas (Danny Trejo), who killed El's partner (Steve Buscemi). So, El calls in the cavalry with his friends Campa (Carlos Gallardo) and Quino (Albert Michel Jr.) to help in the war against Bucho and his men. It's alot bigger in scope, even though it was made for a small budget, it looks like it cost alot more. Banderas gives an amazing performance as El Mariachi, and this helped put him on the map in Hollywood. The film has good action, and is rounded off with cameos from Cheech Marin and Quentin Tarantino, who tells an amusing little joke. 4/5



Once Upon A Time In Mexico (2003), the third act of Robert Rodriguez's Mariachi trilogy, made during a quick break between the first two Spy Kids films, it was good to see Rodriguez could still do some good action, but it's not perfect, and even El Mariachi feels like a supporting character in his own film, and there's alot of characters all round. This starts with CIA Agent Sands (Johnny Depp) hiring El Mariachi (Antonio Banderas) to kill General Marquez (Gerardo Vigil). Marquez killed El's lover Carolina (Salma Hayek) and unborn child. Now, Marquez has been hired by drugs baron Armando Barillo (Willem Dafoe) to kill the Mexican President (Pedro Armendáriz Jr.) in a military coup. Sands hires retired FBI Agent Jorge Ramirez (Rubén Blades) to go for Barillo, as Barillo killed Ramirez's partner. Come the day of action, nothing really goes to plan, and it's one playing against the other. However, El Mariachi has brought a little help. There's so much going on in this film, it's hard to keep track of what is going on, it has flashbacks added too with Hayek. It's confusing, but it has some good moments peppered throughout. It's a pity there wasn't enough of Banderas, but Depp is wonderful as always, and the supporting cast is rounded out with Eva Mendes, Danny Trejo, Cheech Marin, Enrique Iglesias and Mickey Rourke. 3/5

Toy Story 3 (1st view)

SPOILERS

Yep, it covered similar ground and it was predictable at times but I loved every second. That bit when it looked like the end was nigh, it was so obvious that the aliens would come to the rescue, but the fact that the characters didn't know it, jeez that was heartbreaking. And the final scene , there was cries and sniffles from throughout the cinema. Whatever fears I had originally had about the film, and there were a few, were unfounded. I just wish that Lenny and RC and the like had stayed around as well. Yes, I know its part of the storyline that Andy's all grown up, but I hate the fact that the group's broken up, and it's a problem more to do with me than the film itself, but still. I'd explain in more detail but I'd bore you all. Anyway, for the 4th year running and the 6th year overall, Pixar have made the best film of the year. Thrilling, heartbreaking and hilarious - 5/5*

Enigma (2001), based on Robert Harris' best selling novel, produced by Mick Jagger and SNL head Lorne Michaels, and directed by Michael Apted. This is a different kind of war film, but it's about a group of people who helped win World War 2 for us, but they never got the recognition they deserved, with a mystery thrown in too. Set in and around Bletchley Park, Buckinghamshire in 1943, where cryptanalysts are working out hidden messages by the Nazi's from the U-Boats, but there's a problem, they've changed their codes. So, they call upon mathematician Tom Jericho (Dougray Scott) to help out, he worked there before but was driven to a nervous breakdown because of the amount of work and a bad love affair with Claire Romilly (Saffron Burrows). However, whilst working out this new problem, he discovers Claire has gone missing, and her housemate Hester Wallace (Kate Winslet) helps Tom uncover a mystery that Claire knew about the code changes, and Tom is being watched closely by MI5 agent Wigram (Jeremy Northam), and there's a race against the clock to crack the code before the German U-Boats find attack an Allied convoy crossing the Atlantic. It's a good little war film, historical fiction would be the best word to describe this film. It's not got many fireworks to it, but it's more of an intellectual war film, the opposite of many war films, with not much action, but it's still good. 3/5



Last Action Hero (1993), before you say anything, this is not as bad as you remember it is. It's a very underrated film, it's quite original as well, but it does suffer from a confused plot, but it's a fun action film while it lasts. It has young Danny Madigan (Austin O'Brien) receiving a magical movie ticket from elderly cinema projectionist Nick (Robert Prosky), which launches Danny straight into Arnold Schwarzenegger's new film, Jack Slater IV, he's placed with Slater (Schwarzenegger) into an over-the-top film plot involving drug smuggling and obligatory British baddie Benedict (Charles Dance). But, Benedict ends up getting one half of the magic movie ticket, and he soon finds himself in the real world, where the rules of the film world don't apply. This is both and good thing and a bad thing. It's a very silly film indeed, but it's worth it to see Arnie face himself, and is able to make fun of his image. John McTiernan keeps the action up, there's alot of very funny humour in the film, it had the idea but little bits got lost when going to film, and it's got alot of celebrity cameos from the likes of F. Murray Abraham, Art Carney, Ian McKellen, Little Richard and Tina Turner!! 4/5



Pirates (1986), Roman Polanski had always wanted to do a swashbuckler pirate film, and he wanted to do this back in the mid-1970's with Jack Nicholson. That never happened, 10 years later, it did. The result is maybe Polanski's weakest film, despite good intentions, the comedy comes out ham-fisted and even the action looks cartoonish at best. This has Captain Thomas Bartholomew Red (Walter Matthau) and his first mate Frog (Cris Campion), on a raft in the middle of the ocean, starving and dehydrated. But they're soon picked up by a Spanish Galleon, and forced into slavery. But, Captain Red is having non of that, and he soon leads a mutiny with the other prisoners on the ship, and what Captain Red wants most of all is a solid gold throne the Spanish claimed from an Aztec king, meanwhile Frog tries to romance the Spanish govenor's daughter, María-Dolores de la Jenya de la Calde (Charlotte Lewis). It's got a very minimal plot, and despite claims from those who have championed the film saying "It's like POTC without the CGI", it just isn't. That knew how to handle comedy, Polanski can't. Matthau's over the top performance is the film's only saving grace, and this plods along at a tedious pace. It was produced by Cannon Films, what would you expect from them. This is worse than Cutthroat Island (1995), and that's saying something!! 1/5

Pirates really does suck!

Like I said, it was made by Cannon Films, what would you expect from them!! It's only saving graces were appearances by Roy Kinnear and Ian Dury.

American Pop (1981), after the nightmarish production and critical indifference to Lord of the Rings (1978), and his 1950's memoir Hey Good Lookin' (1982) stuck in development limbo with it's studio. Ralph Bakshi thought it was time for a small, personal film, and he was able to find money for this one. A document on the history of 20th Century popular music, seen through the eyes of 4 generations of a Russian-American family. It's not a million miles away from what Bakshi had done in Heavy Traffic (1973). It begins in 1890's Tzarist Russia, when Zalmie Belinksy (Jeffrey Lippa) moves to New York as a boy to escape the cossacks, he gets a job selling chorus slips and later working in vaudeville. He later has a son, Benny (Richard Singer), who is a successful jazz pianist, but is later killed in action in WW2. He had a son, Tony (Ron Thompson), who becomes a drifter in the 1950's, and spends the next decade moving around America, working for a psychedelic rock band in 1960's San Francisco, he has an illegitamate son, Pete (Ron Thompson), who goes from selling drugs in 1970's New York, to making it big as a rock star in the 1980's. It's linear structure does grate after a while, although it's more in the second half of the film. But, some of the animation is well done, even the rotoscoping works, (a format Bakshi never wanted to use), but this film is a timely reminded of why Bakshi is one of the great unsung heroes of animation. 3.5/5



Strangers on a Train (1951), after a slight dip in his directing career in the mid to late 1940's, (Rope (1948) aside), Hitchcock finally found the perfect project for him with Patricia Highsmith's 1950 novel, the screen version written by Raymond Chandler, it's one of Hitchcock's most entertaining films, with two compelling, brilliant male leads and a great finale. This has amateur tennis Guy Haines (Farley Granger) meeting rich but eccentric Bruno Anthony (Robert Walker) on a train. They both have problems, Guy is going through a tough divorce from his unfaithful wife Miriam (Kasey Rogers), while Bruno is having problems with his father (Jonathan Hale). Bruno proposes the idea of "exchanging murders". Guy kills Bruno's father, and Bruno kills the unfaithful Miriam. Guy refuses that idea, but Bruno thinks he'd go ahead with it. Bruno kills Miriam in on an amusement park ride. Guy is made the chief suspect, despite support from his new girlfriend Anne Morton (Ruth Roman), but Bruno is determined to see Guy keep up his end of the bargain, and then plans to frame him. It's quintessential Hitchcock, with a good cast and a good plot with plenty of suspenseful moments. The merry-go-round gone wild at the end is one of the best scenes Hitchcock has ever directed, and this was the beginning of his greatest 10 years or so of films. 5/5

I haven't posted that much in here recently as I was waiting until I'd seen the following and hoped to do some epic review. But that'd take too long, so I'm doing a sentence or less for each! The following is the order I'd place them in

Schindler's List (5th view, 1993,Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
After LOTR, my second favourite film and I can't see that changing anytime soon

Jaws (8th view, 1975, Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
Awesome in every way

Duel (19th view, 1971, Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
Sheer, bloody desperate panic have never been portrayed so brilliantly as here

Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade (24th view, 1989, Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
The best of the Indy films

Jurassic Park (20th+ view, 1993, Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
Awesome

Saving Private Ryan (12th view, 1998, Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
Best war film ever made

Close Encounters Of The Third Kind (7th view, 1977, Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
Awesome

Raiders Of The Lost Ark (16th view, 1981, Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
Awesome

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (8th view, 1982, Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
Used to hate it when I was younger, but I love it now

A.I.: Artificial Intelligence (5th view, 2001, Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
Visually one of the mist enchanting films I've seen

War Of The Worlds (4th view, 2005, Steven Spielberg) - 5/5
Set-piece cinema at its best


Minority Report (6th view, 2002, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5
Best innocent man on the run film I've seen except for North By Northwest

The Color Purple (4th view, 1986, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5.
Hugely overlooked

Amistad (5th view, 1997, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5
As is this

Munich (3rd view, 2005, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5
The Terminal (3rd view, 2004, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5
Indiana Jones and The Temple Of Doom (10th view, 1984, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5
The Lost World: Jurassic Park (8th view, 1997, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5
The Sugarland Express (2nd view, 1974, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5
Catch Me If You Can (5th view (2002, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5
Empire Of The Sun (3rd view, 1987, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (4th view, 2008, Steven Spielberg) - 4/5
The weakest Indy, but there are moments of brilliance to match the original and Ford just is Indiana Jones.


Always (2nd view, 1989, Steven Spielberg) - 3/5
A trio of fine lad performances though, and one of Williams' finest scores.

1941 (2nd view, 1979, Steven Spielberg) - 3/5
Hook (3rd view, 1991, Steven Spielberg) - 3/5