What I've Just Watched: Part 2

Machete (1st view) - The pre-credits sequence is the best bit. There are siome moments afterward but they're few and far between. The cast are all terrible or seem bored, with only Jeff Fahey giving a decent performance - 3/5*





Skeletons (1st view) - Intriguing comedy drama about two exorcists - 4/5*




The Rocker (1st view) - Reasonably funny comedy with Rainn Wilson tryin g to make it in the music world 20 years after missing out on fame - 3/5*





The House By The Cemetery (1st view) - The third video nasty I've seen. after Evil Dead and The Last House On The Left. I was expecting something exceptionally gory and/or terrifying, but this was neither really. But it was an enjoyable slasher-type horror - 4/5*

I did something naughty over the naked babe in the pre-credits scene in Machete.

The Basketball Diaries (1995), based upon Jim Carroll's 1978 autobiography, this is a harrowing drugs drama, which was the directorial debut of music video director Scott Kalvert. It's a powerful and very uncomfortable film, but this would help put it's lead actor on the road to superstardom. This has young Jim Carroll (Leonardo DiCaprio), who goes to a rough Catholic school in slums of Queens, New York. But, he holds an amazing talent for basketball, and the team he's in are the best in the region, led by coach Swifty (Bruno Kirby), Jim also stays in close contact with his friend Bobby (Michael Imperioli), who is in hospital with leukemia. However, Jim's life seems to go to pieces when Swifty makes a pass at him, he quits school and the team and he and his friends Pedro (James Madio), Neutron (Patrick McGaw) and Mickey (Mark Wahlberg) turn to a life of crime and drug addiction on the mean streets of New York. Jim's seems to get the worst of it, avoiding the police and even getting kicked out by his mother (Lorraine Bracco), but Jim soon finds help and solace from ex-heroin addict Reggie (Ernie Hudson). This came out around the same time as other graphic youth drug films like Kids (1995) and Trainspotting (1996), this is quite upsetting, and DiCaprio gives a poweful, heartbreaking performance in this, he showed so much promise here, and his talents matured more over the next few years. 3.5/5



The Last Boy Scout (1991), a very good and very exciting action thriller from director Tony Scott and Lethal Weapon screenwriter Shane Black, two powerful talents 20 years ago, who teamed for this, even now, it's lost non of it's power to entertain. This has private detective (former secret agent) Joe Hallenbeck (Bruce Willis), who is assigned to keep an eye on Cory (Halle Berry), the girlfriend of disgraced former football star Jimmy Dix (Damon Wayans), however, when Cory is murdered in a drive-by shooting. Hallenbeck and Dix team up to find out who is responsible for the shooting, alot of explosions, property damage and shooting follows afterwards!! One of those big, dumb action films from the early 1990's, and one of the more violent offerings. But, it makes for very entertaining viewing, and Brucie and Wayans make a good team, and director Scott keeps a good eye on the action, (he's always good when it comes to action films), and Brucie comes up with the wisecracks which pushes it into comedy territory, but what would you expect from a film from this era?? It's good fun in the long term, and we need nice violent action films like this again. 4/5

Well, she had a nice bottom, I couldn't help it!!

Resident Evil: Extinction (1st view) - The best film in the series and also, by a considerable distance, Mulcahy's best film (though he did make 2 music videos that were terrific) - 4/5*




The Other Guys (1st view) - I like Mark Wahlberg, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, The Rock, Eve Mendes. I don't like Will Ferrell. Still, the odds are in my favour. Unfortunately, this reunites Ferrell with director Adam McKay, a man whose films are about as funny as kneeling on an upturned plug. The Empire review for this film cited Anchorman and Talladega Nights as classics. That made me weep - 2/5*




Walking Tall (2nd view) - Decent enough, but very hard to feel sympathetic towards The Rock's character in this - 3/5*




Idiocracy (1st view) - So not the greatest comedy ever made, but compared to a few others recent attempts at humour I saw over the last few days, this was almost genius - 4/5*




Date Night (1st view) - With Tina Fey and Steve Carrel involved, stars of two of the smartest and funniest US sitcoms, you'd expect something a bit better than this. Then you recall it's directed by Shawn Levy, and you realise why it's merely ok - 3/5*




Your Highness (1st view) -Christ almighty, this was painful to watch. I'd have to check, but I think this might be the worst film I've seen at the cinema since The Beach. It doesn't get bottom marks because I know I found something to enjoy when I watched it, I distinctly recall a faint glimmer of hope as a joyful thought wandered though my consciousness, but what the hell provoked it, 30 hours later I have no idea - 2/5*




A Town Called Panic (1st view) - Brilliant from start to finish. Always loved that style of animation (well I say always, but I really mean since whenever those Cravendale adverts aired) but the completely bonkers storyline, great vocals and terrific humour were all just as appealing - 5/5*

In God We Tru$t (1980), Marty Feldman did a second film for Universal Pictures, even though his first effort as a director, The Last Remake of Beau Geste (1977), didn't do all THAT well. For his second film, he went to America, mainly to play it safe, and took on the world of religion, and how people in America look at it. It's quite a dark satire on big bucks corporations and how innocence always wins through. It begins with Brother Ambrose (Feldman) is sent from the monastery of English monks, where he was brought up to go out into the world to find $5,000 to stop the monastery from being shut down. He ends up with religious con-man Dr. Sebastian Melmoth (Peter Boyle), and hooker Mary (Louise Lasser). Brother Ambrose is looking for televangelist Armageddon T. Thunderbird (Andy Kaufman), who is said could help the monks. But, Brother Ambrose ends up working for Thunderbird, who is really a corrupt businessman who speaks with G.O.D. (Richard Pryor), who is a computer. It's not as good as Feldman's previous film, but it does have it's moments, and Feldman is a likeable lead in this by the numbers fish-out-of-water story, and there's some physical comedy in it which Feldman was ALWAYS good at. This lacks the bite which it should have had, but it's amusing nontheless. 3/5



My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done (2009), from director Werner Herzog and produced by David Lynch, this is a weird and unsettling murder mystery. It has a good ensemble, and this is perfect material for Herzog, and it does make a good companion piece to his previous film, Bad Lieutenant (2009). In San Diego, Detective Havenhurst (Willem Dafoe) driving with his partner Detective Vargas (Michael Peña) are called to the scene of the murder of Mrs. McCullum (Grace Zabriskie). It turns out her son Brad McCullum (Michael Shannon) stabbed her with an antique sword, and now Brad is holed up in his own house, claiming he has hostages. But, Havenhurst is intrigued to know why McCullum has been driven to do something like this. After speaking to his fiancee Ingrid (Chloë Sevigny) and his drama tutor and mentor Lee Meyers (Udo Kier), it turns out McCullum has never been right since a trip he took to Peru on a kayaking trip, and how McCullum's Uncle Ted (Brad Dourif) played a big part (albiet unknowing) in this crime. Nothing is what it seems, McCullum seemed normal before this, why the change?? It's a very odd and weird film, but it's what you'd expect from Herzog, Shannon gives an intense and disturbing performance, plus the Peru locations were used by Herzog in Aguirre: Wrath of God and Fitzcarraldo. 3/5

Komodo (1st view) - Crap!

The Exorcist (1973), the pet project of writer and producer William Peter Blatty, based on real events that happened in 1949, and directed by William Friedkin, fresh with an Oscar from The French Connection (1971). This is a spooky horror film, with shocks, blood and profanity galore, it doesn't have the same impact it did years ago, but it's still a good entertainment. In the Washington D.C. suburb of Georgetown, something weird is happening to 12 year old Regan McNeil (Linda Blair), she's showing signs of disturbing behaviour, including foul language and poweful strength, her voice changes to a deep demonic one. Her mother, actress Chris MacNeil (Ellen Burstyn) is very worried for her daughter, and isn't convinced by the doctors prognosis that her behaviour can be attributed to a brain legion. After consulting Father Damien Karras (Jason Miller), a local priest who has been questioning his own faith, he believes Regan is possessed by a demon, strange as it sounds, he believes it's possible, Chris is skeptical, and soon they call for Father Lankester Merrin (Max von Sydow), who has dealt with exorcisms before. It's very dark, and the build up to the exorcism is slow, but it adds to the dark mood. Friedkin gets the best from his actors, and ultimately, it's a film about lost faith and for all it's shocks and scares, it's more psychologically scary than anything. 4/5



Planet of the Apes (1968), based upon Pierre Boulle's 1963 book La planète des singes, this is a great little sci-fi adventure, but above all, it's an intelligent film as well, questioning what could become of humanity and it wasn't a cheesy sci-fi film like what you'd get from this era. It put alot of thought, time and effort into it's proceedings. 3 astronauts Taylor (Charlton Heston), Landon (Robert Gunner) and Dodge (Jeff Burton) have crash-landed on a planet in the year 3978. The planet seems to be deserted, and with their ship sunk, they're stranded permanently. They eventually find a group of primative humans, who live in a small community. However, the astronauts are in for a big shock when they discover a group of gorillas on horseback raiding the village and capturing some of the humans. Dodge is killed, Taylor and Landon are captured and sent to a community of walking, talking apes, who live like humans. Taylor is put under the care of psychologist Zira (Kim Hunter), who discovers Taylor isn't one of the primative humans, but Dr. Zaius (Maurice Evans) tries to hide that up, as he knows something Taylor doesn't know yet. This is rare beast, a sci-fi film from the 1960's that hasn't dated, and Heston gives a good performance too, one of bewilderment. Even it's twist still comes as a shock, and it's success brought about sequels, a TV show and 2 remakes. 4/5

Inception (2010), Christopher Nolan returns with his first original film since Memento (2000), and he's raised the stakes with this one in concept, scale and ambition. It is a strange but always entertaining piece of cinema, it is complex, but it's also understandable, with some brilliant ideas on display here. Nolan has easily made one better than The Dark Knight, and even Memento or The Prestige. This has corporate thief Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) who uses a form of technology where he can get into people's dreams and steal ideas and secrets from top businessmen. However, he's in exile from America, where his two children are, but he is given a shot at redemption by Japanese businessman Saito (Ken Watanabe) for one last job, not to steal ideas, but to plant one, specifically, into the mind of Robert Fischer (Cillian Murphy), who is the son of Saito's business rival, and this idea is to split up Fischer's father's empire. So Cobb, puts the plan into action with his sidekick Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), new dream architect Ariadne (Ellen Page) and forger Eames (Tom Hardy), but Cobb is plagued by visions of his dead wife Mal (Marion Cotillard). This is a film which has moments which make you wonder "how on earth did they do THAT!?" But, Nolan makes his idea perfectly understandable without having to dive into the logics and philosophies of how dream states work. It is a refreshing change to all the big budget films out there today, and with a brilliant cast rounded out with Tom Berenger, Pete Postlethwaite and Michael Caine. Nolan is truly one of the best filmmakers around today, and certainly an exciting one. More please!! 5/5



Year One (2009), from Harold Ramis, who made so many good comedies in the 1980's and 90's, comes this Biblical comedy with an all-star cast. Despite all good intentions, it feels dated and would have been more at place in the 1980's, alot of the comedy and gags don't work, and it's nowhere near as clever as it thinks it is. It starts in a community of cavemen, including bumbling hunter Zed (Jack Black) and his gatherer friend Oh (Michael Cera), who find themselves exiled from their village after Zed eats from Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. They end up going beyond their village, and encountering people such as Cain and Abel (David Cross and Paul Rudd), and later Abraham (Hank Azaria) and his son Isaac (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). They later end up at the city of Sodom, where their old tribe have been captured as slaves by the Sodomites, and are saved by Cain, who helps get Zed in as a soldier, while Oh ends up as a slave, and then they get into trouble with Sodom's high priest (Oliver Platt), who seems to like it when Oh rubs oil all over him. The problem with this film is that the comedy is dated, and feels like it would have been funny 25 years ago. It only raises mild chuckles rather than belly laughs, it's a good concept but the gags let it down, and when Cera puts in a better turn than Black, you know somethings wrong. 2/5

Cry-Baby (1990), fresh from the success of Hairspray (1988), this a lovely camp and funny little film from Baltimore madman John Waters. This was his first big Hollywood film, done for Universal Pictures, and it helped make a big star out of Johnny Depp. Set in 1954 Baltimore, this is about Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker (Depp), a 'Drape' (a rocker) who lives with his hillbilly family, and he tries to win the affections of local posh girl Allison Vernon-Williams (Amy Locane), although her grandmother (Polly Bergen), doesn't approve of it at all. But, despite misgivings, Wade has good manners and is honest, despite him and his gang having a bolshy attitude. However, Allison's jealous "square" boyfriend, Baldwin (Stephen Mailer) does not approve of Cry-Baby trying to take his girl, and he gets his gang of Square's to bring down Cry-Baby and his gang and family, and has Cry-Baby sent to a juvenile penitentiary where he'll remain until his 21st birthday. But, Allisons learns of what Baldwin and his Squares has been up to, and despite lies by Cry-Baby's former girlfriend Lenora (Kim Webb), Allison is determined to get him free. It's a camp and cheesy musical, but that's what makes it good. It's not got as many belly laughs as many of Waters' other works (and Divine is sadly missed), but it has moments which you'd expect from John Waters, plus it has a good cast including Iggy Pop, Rikki Lake, Patricia Hearst, Traci Lords and Willem Dafoe!! 4/5



The Towering Inferno (1974), Irwin Allen was the king of spectacle and action cinema in the 1960's and 1970's, straight off the success of The Poseidon Adventure (1972), he went one bigger, the first film to take two studios, 20th Century Fox and Warner Bros. to make it, and an ensemble the likes that hasn't been seen since. Allen was the Roland Emmerich of his day when it comes to disaster films. Set in San Francisco, it is set on the night of the opening of the Glass Tower, the tallest building in the world at 1,800 feet high. It's architect Doug Roberts (Paul Newman) has come for the big night for it's owner James Duncan (William Holden). However, Roberts is skeptical of some of the buildings electrical wiring, and discovers that Duncan's son-in-law Roger Simmons (Richard Chamberlain), cut corners when he did the electrical engineering. Too late, a small fire starts in a storage cupboard on the 81st floor. But, the sprinklers or fire alarms didn't pick it up, and now it's raging out of control. With about 300 people stuck in the Promenade Room on the 135th floor, it's up to Fire Chief Mike O'Hallorhan (Steve McQueen) to come up with a way to get the people down, but it's not going to be easy. It might look dated by today's standards, but it's a still a good piece of entertainment, and the special effects for their day were brilliant, and still work now. The ensemble including Faye Dunaway, Jennifer Jones, O.J. Simpson, Robert Vaughn, Robert Wagner and Dabney Coleman give it their all. 4.5/5

Silent Movie (1976), Mel Brooks became the new king of comedy in 1974 with Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, for his next film, he decided to take a step back, and make the sort of film that hadn't been mass-produced half a century earlier, a silent movie. It has varying success, but when it's funny, it's very funny. It has washed-up film director Mel Funn (Brooks), looking for a comeback, and he has an idea for one, a silent movie, with his assistants Marty Eggs (Marty Feldman) and Dom Bell (Dom DeLuise), they convince the Chief of Big Picture Studios (Sid Caesar), to make the film, but only if Funn can get together an all-star cast. Whilst, Funn, Eggs and Bell go around looking for an all-star cast to appear in the film, Big Picture Studios is looking to be taken over by conglomerate Engulf & Devour, who worried about the attention Funn's film is getting try to stop him. It's a daring experiment to make in a time where no-one else was making silent films, alot of the jokes work, some fall flat, but the funniest parts come from it's all star cameos, including Burt Reynolds, James Caan, Liza Minnelli, Anne Bancroft, Marcel Marceau and Paul Newman!! As was the case with Brooks' previous film, Marty Feldman steals the film, and proves his worth as a brilliant slapstick comedian!! 4/5



History of the World: Part I (1981), Mel Brooks rides again, with this sketch film which does what it says on the tin. It's got some very funny segments, but the sketch format deny it any glue. The humour could have been lifted from any American comedy sketch show, (Brooks used to work on loads of them), but it is enjoyable, and it doesn't go on for too long too. Narrated by Orson Welles, it begins with Prehistoric Man (with Sid Caesar as Chief Caveman) discovering fire and how to sing, then onto Moses (Brooks) and the Ten Commandments. Then an extended look throughout the Roman era, with stand-up philosopher Comicus (Brooks again) befriending black slave Josephus (Gregory Hines), then there's the spectacular song and dance musical, The Inquisition, set during the Spanish Inquisition. Then, onto the French Revolution, with pee boy Jacques (Brooks), asked to double for King Louis XVI (guess who??) It's a bit like Airplane! If one gag doesn't work, don't worry, there'll be one along in a minute that will. Sketch films don't normally work, (except if it's Monty Python), but Brooks gives this an epic treatment, nothing is sacred, and it's got a good cast including Harvey Korman, Dom DeLuise, Madeline Kahn, Cloris Leachman, Pamela Stephenson and Spike Milligan!! 3/5

Up Pompeii (1971), based upon the popular BBC comedy series created by Carry On writer Talbot Rothwell, Up Pompeii! headed for the big screen with a bigger scale and more smut and innuendo. Even now, it's one of the best TV to film transfers of this period, we need more comedies like this now, we were on top with stuff like this. Set in Pompeii, it has Roman slave Lurcio (Frankie Howerd) who is collection wine, food and slaves for a planned orgy by his master Ludicrus Sextus (Michael Hordern). However, while out, Lurcio has a run-in with Roman centurion Bilius (Lance Percival) and accidentally ends up with a scroll which unveils a plot to kill the Emperor Nero (Patrick Cargill), the first attempt to get the scroll back during the orgy doesn't go well, and then Ludricrus Sextus finds out about the plot, and now knows too much. The conspirators, Prosperus Maximus (Bill Fraser) and Voluptua (Julie Ege) plan to kill Sextus to keep him quiet, however it's up to slave Lurcio to save Sextus and stop Nero from being killed, but there's more to come, when nearby Mount Vesuvius starts erupting. There's some brilliant double entendres on display and alot of sex and nudity too, it's closer in tone to what the Confessions films did. Frankie is always hilarious, and it has a great cast including Roy Hudd, Hugh Paddick, Madeline Smith and Bernard Bresslaw. 4/5



Hard Candy (2005), the directorial debut of music video director David Slade, who later did 30 Days of Night (2007) and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010), this is a creepy, unsettling psychological thriller which is a slow burner, but it has two brilliant lead performances, despite the fact it looks off-putting, it's actually a very good character piece. It has 14 year old Hayley Stark (Ellen Page) who meets 32 year old photographer Jeff Kohlver (Patrick Wilson) after chatting on an online forum. After a meeting in a cafe, Jeff takes Hayley back to his place and makes drinks, but Hayley insists on making her own. Jeff does model photography, and wants to shoot Hayley. However, before he can do so, Jeff feels unwell, and collapses. When he comes to, Jeff is tried to a chair by Hayley, who tells him that she knows he's a paedophile, which he denies, but Hayley searches the house, and finds evidence of sick photos and one of a girl who went missing, but Jeff denies any knowledge of it happening. Hayley wants to ensure Jeff never does anything like this again, and plans something unspeakably bad to him, despite all attempts by Jeff to talk her out of it. It's a gripping, horrific piece of work, and this is a cautionary piece too of the dangers of predators, although the tables are turned here. Ellen Page is excellent and steals the film, and Wilson makes a good victim to her plotting. 4/5

Tron: Legacy (1st view) - Great effects, fantastic score (who Daft Punk are though, no idea, Never heard of them). Crap story, but it didn't help that I haven't seen the original in ages and remembered bugger all about it. It was only reading up about the original film that I realised the characters of Tron and Clu hadn't been conceived for the sequel. Bridges is decent, if a bit too hippy-ish, but the younger version of him is laughable. Really, bad. Almost makes the Scorpion King look good. Olivia Wilde comes out of the film best, with Michael Sheen being widely over the top and Garrett Hedlund a charisma void – 3/5*




Quarantine (1st view) - Creeped me out almost as much as REC did – 4/5*




Little Fockers (1st view) - And to think there was a time when having De Niro, Keitel and Hoffman all in one film would have been a good thing – 2/5*




Scream 4 (1st view) - Liked it a lot, better than Scream 3. The all-too-clever film references bug me, as they did in the first 3, but a good instalment. – 4/5*




Legend of the Guardians: The Owls Of Ga’hoole (1st view) - There's not denying it looks gorgeous. Shame about the story and most of the cast, with only David Wenham, Geoffrey Rush and Anthony LaPaglia standing out.

I've been where Tron: Legacy was filmed though!! The motorbike journey at the end was done in Stanley Park and on the Lions Gate Bridge in Vancouver!!

It's always good when you can pick out places you recognise.

Carry On Matron (1972), the 23rd Carry On film, coming short after the critical and commercial letdowns of Carry On Henry and Carry On At Your Convenience in 1971, but 1972 saw the release of two of the best Carry On Films. This was one, and the other was Carry On Abroad. The Carry On team have always loved hospital based japery, (see Nurse/Doctor/Again Doctor), and this carries on that tradition. Based at Finisham Maternity Hospital, it has criminal mastermind Sid Carter (Sid James) planning a robbery of the hospitals supplies of the pill, which he plans to sell to foreign countries. For that, he gets his son Cyril (Kenneth Cope) to go in dressed as a nurse. But, trying to keep up being a nurse isn't as easy as it sounds, Cyril has to share a room with the bubbly nurse Susan Ball (Barbara Windsor) while Cyril is being lusted over by Dr. Prodd (Terry Scott). Elsewhere in the hospital, a love triangle has developed between Sir Bernard Cutting (Kenneth Williams), who runs the hospital, the hospitals Matron (Hattie Jacques) and psychiatrist Dr. Francis A. Goode (Charles Hawtrey). There are alot of great gags in this one, both physical and verbal, the double entendres are on top form, and the whole ensemble cast is on fine form, and Kenneth Cope is rather attractive all dressed up as a woman!! 4/5



Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005), Tim Burton takes on Roald Dahl's classic children's novel, it's second adaptation after the 1971 musical. But, it's a more faithful take on Dahl's book, adding more depth, and Burton putting his own inimitable stamp of imagination and fantasy on proceedings. It has eccentric chocolatier Willy Wonka (Johnny Depp), sending out 5 golden tickets in his chocolate bars. Local boy Charlie Bucket (Freddie Highmore) yearns for one as his Grandpa Joe (David Kelly) once worked for Wonka. 4 of the tickets are won by glutton Augustus Gloop (Philip Wiegratz), spoilt brat Veruca Salt (Julia Winter), competitive Violet Beauregarde (AnnaSophia Robb) and video game addict Mike Teavee (Jordan Fry). Against all the odds, Charlie wins a ticket, and is sent into Wonka's magical factory, which is like another world entirely, with a giant Chocolate room, an inventing room, a Glass Elevator and Fudge Mountain. But, each of the kids face a sticky end, through their greed and want, but Charlie doesn't want anything, plus Wonka has a few demons in his closet. This is a different beast to the 1971 version, but Dahl would have been pleased with this take, Depp shows a bonkers side to Wonka, and Burton uses alot of gothic psychedelia, and the cast is nicely rounded out by James Fox, Missi Pyle, Deep Roy, Helena Bonham Carter, Noah Taylor, Liz Smith and Christopher Lee. 4/5

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009), Terry Gilliam is back!! And his latest film created publicity for all the wrong reasons as Heath Ledger died halfway through filming. But the film was saved from being abandoned thanks to a little help from Heath's friends, who completed the film for Heath. And it's an amazing triumph in the face of tragedy, and Heath's death aside, it's a wonderfully imaginative film with some of Gilliam's best imagery to date. It's a mess though, but a brilliant mess. In modern day London, 1,000 year old monk and storyteller Doctor Parnassus (Christopher Plummer) travels with a Victorian carnival show, which consists of performers such as his daughter Valentina (Lily Cole), runaway Anton (Andrew Garfield) and dwarf Percy (Verne Troyer). When they pick up amnesiac stranger Tony (Heath Ledger), Parnassus counts upon him to save him from a wager he has with the devil, Mr. Nick (Tom Waits). Sometimes, a messy, mad film can be a load more entertaining and enjoyable than a perfect one. This is the purest Gilliam film in about 20 years, this is what we've been missing from him, and seeing this, you want him to make more films!! Plus, kudos goes to Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell for becoming Tony behind Parnassus's magic mirror, and making Heath's final performance memorable. Gilliam's best film in a decade, and absolutely impossible to forget!! 5/5



Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), after the flop of 1941 (1979), it looked like Steven Spielberg's career was in the toilet. Nope, he'd been developing a little action-adventure film produced and created by his best friend George Lucas. It would put Spielberg back on top and become one of the most successful films ever, and it also gave the world a new action hero, and one of the most popular film franchises ever. Set in 1936, it has travelling archaeology professor Henry 'Indiana' Jones (Harrison Ford) being assigned by the government to look for the Ark of Covenant, which contains the remains of the stone tablets of The Ten Commandments. Indiana is sent to Nepal, where he meets old flame Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), who has an artifact crucial to finding the Ark, and they travel on to Egypt where out in the desert the Nazi's are also looking for the Ark. It's a race against time, as Indy's biggest rival Dr. René Belloq (Paul Freeman) is in league with the Nazi's, also looking for the Ark. It's a great piece of entertainment, with enough action, adventure and imagination to keep you glued for a couple of hours, Ford makes Indy his own, world weary but always on his toes. Spielberg has rarely been better than this. He was back on top, and more was to come!! 5/5

The Killer Inside Me (1st view) - Dark and brutal, but some of the performances are quite weak and the film never flows - 3/5*





Thor (1st view) - My second IMAX experience following Inception, and the effect of a whopping great screen was better this time, seeing as I wasn't sitting second row from the front, looking skywards for two and a half hours that led to stiff neck for three days. Also, it was the 9th (I think) 3D film I've seen. Odeon's 3D specs are way better than Cineworld, someone's obviously thought about what do folk who need glasses anyway do when they need to put 3D glasses over them. The 3 itself is probably the best I've seen outside of How To Train Your Dragon and and the batball scene from Monters vs Aliens. But not even IMAX and cool specs can help during the action scenes, it's still like trying to follow Roadrunner in a snowglobe.

Oh yeah, and the film was good. Sits well alongside the other Marvel films so far, despite the more fantastical story. Branagh seemed like an odd choice to direct but he does a fine job. The Asgard shots looked gorgeous, and the leads all did fantastic jobs - 4/5*

Grown Ups (1st view) - Crap!




Tenderness (1st view) - Not even heard of this Russell Crowe film until about 2 days ago. He plays a detective obsessed about the early release of a teenage murderer he arrested. It's not very good - 2/5*




Iron Man (4th view) - Rollicking comic book adventure, which balances perfectly its dry sense of humour with some adrenalin pumping action scenes. It's a more light-hearted affair than the likes of Hulk or the new Batman films, yet far more substantial than, say, the Fantastic Four films. Robert Downey Jr. is excellent in the lead, and he's ably supported by Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard. It gets a little overblown near the end but this is great entertainment - 4/5

Iron Man 2 (2nd view) - Not quite as good as the first one I don't think. Then again I don't like Rourke or Johansson, so their presence doesn't help. But it was, for me anyway, good fun - 4/5




The Last Airbender (1st view) - By some distance this is Shyamalan's worst film, bnut there's still quite a bit to enjoy - 3/5*

Arthur (1981), Dudley Moore had become Hollywood's most unlikely new superstar after the success of 10 (1979), so he took on this film by first time writer/director Steve Gordon. It's dated quite a bit since it's first release, but Moore has a likeable presence, and John Gielgud steals the film. Set in New York City, it's about spoilt playboy Arthur Bach (Moore), who is in line to inherit $750 million by his father Stanford Bach (Thomas Barbour). Arthur is cared for by his faithful butler Hobson (Gielgud), who over the years has been more of a father figure to Arthur than what his real father has been. Arthur is scared of his real father, and is never sober when he meets him. It turns out to inherit the $750 million, Arthur has to marry upper class Susan Johnson (Jill Eikenberry), daughter of the rich but volatile Burt Johnson (Stephen Elliott). But, Arthur doesn't love Susan, but he'll lose everything if he doesn't marry, but he's also met working-class Queens waitress Linda Marolla (Liza Minnelli) and Arthur is attracted to her, but does he go with the money or with the arranged marriage as planned. It's got it's moments, and Moore is a drunken monster early on, but shows a caring side afterwards. Gielgud won an Oscar for his role, and this was director Gordon's only film, he died the year after it's release. 3/5



Rio (2011), from the creators of the Ice Age films, Robots and Horton Hears a Who!, this is a very good animated film, and it's very lively and has a good beat to it. It's setting is the heart and soul of the whole film, but it does pack a bit of an emotional punch too, but there is fun to be had, and don't let those Orange adverts put you off seeing it either. It follows a baby Spix's Macaw who was taken from his home in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil by smugglers and ended up in Moose Lake, Minnesota. He is taken in by Linda (Leslie Mann) and grows up to be Blu (Jesse Eisenberg), and he enjoys his quiet life as a pet. However, along to the town comes ornithologist Túlio (Rodrigo Santoro) who explains Blu is the last male of his kind, and needs to mate in order to keep his species alive. Blu is taken to Rio, and taken to a facility where he meets his mate Jewel (Anne Hathaway), who can't stand Blu and is only interested in escaping. However, they're captured by smugglers. threatened by Cockatoo Nigel (Jemaine Clement). However, Blu and Jewel escape, and try to get back to Linda and Túlio, they find help from toucan Rafael (George Lopez), although Nigel is hot on their tail. It's a quite engaging story, a usually chilched routine given life by it's rich colour and good music. The vocal cast is on form too, also including Will.i.am, Jane Lynch, Tracy Morgan and Jamie Foxx. 4/5

Alice in Wonderland (2010), Tim Burton takes on the madness and brilliance of Lewis Carroll. It's not a masterpiece, but it is one of Burton's most visually splendid and most imaginative films, it's best feature though is the inspired cast Burton has assembled to bring this CGI version of Alice in Wonderland to life. It's his maddest film in a while, but it's still enjoyable. It has 19 year old Alice Kingsleigh (Mia Wasikowska), who during a garden party, finds herself returning to Wonderland, 13 years after she visited it first time around. The place is being run under the tyranny of the mad Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter), and Alice finds herself with old company again she met first time around, including the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp), Tweedledum and Tweedledee (Matt Lucas), the White Rabbit (Michael Sheen), the Cheshire Cat (Stephen Fry), the March Hare (Paul Whitehouse) and the Dormouse (Barbara Windsor). Turns out Alice is the one who must kill the Jabberwocky (Christopher Lee), and she needs the help of the Red Queen's sister, the White Queen (Anne Hathaway). This is a visually brilliant film, the CGI environment brings out the best in Burton's take on what Wonderland looks like. The cast is amazing, but the film does struggle with Carroll's prose. But, it's still a rich, colourful and satisfying experience. 4/5



Inglourious Basterds (2009), The 6th film by Quentin Tarantino, and this is his long awaited war epic, and it's been well worth the wait. It's not the "men on a mission" film that many would have expected. It's alot more deeper than that, it's chapter divided story is like Kill Bill all over again, but it does contain some of the best characters QT has ever created, and some of his best dialogue too. It begins with Jewish girl Shosanna Dreyfus (Mélanie Laurent) escaping from the bloody massacre of her family at the hands of SS Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz), a few years later, a group of Jewish American soldiers known as The Basterds, led by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) are working with British Intelligence and undercover German film actress Bridget von Hammersmark, (Diane Kruger), who plan to massacre much of the Nazi party in attendance at a cinema in Paris, where Hitler and Goebbels will be in attendance. The cinema is being run by Shosanna, who has an agenda of her own. It's a very exciting and entertaining film, it's a film about films as it is about the war, this is set in a cinema WW2, not the real WW2. QT has fun in this setting, and he gets the best out his cast, (rounded out with appearances by Michael Fassbender, Eli Roth, Til Schweiger, Rod Taylor and Mike Myers!! It's not historically accurate, but who cares?? This makes war seem like so much fun!! 4/5

Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006), based upon a short story by Israeli writter Etgar Keret entitled Kneller's Happy Campers, and the feature debut of writer/director Goran Dukic. This is a very offbeat, and quite quirky look at the afterlife, it's quite original, it is slow moving, but it's sheer off-kilter tone is worth watching the film for. Despaired after his girlfriend Desiree (Leslie Bibb) leaves him, Zia (Patrick Fugit) commits suicide by slashing his wrists. He ends up in a weird limbo of an afterlife in a world which is exactly like ours, only a little more derelict and the colour is bleached. Plus, there's no stars in the sky, no flowers grow and no-one can smile. Other inhabitants of this world are other people who have also committed suicide, including Russian rocker Eugene (Shea Whigham), who died by electrocution, and hitchhiker Mikal (Shannyn Sossamon), who died from an accidental overdose, and believes she doesn't belong in this world, and wants to find who's in charge and speak to them of this misunderstanding, so the trio head off on a road trip to find who's in charge, but Zia discovers that Desiree has topped herself too and is also in this limbo. To describe this film, you'd have to think along the lines of What Dreams May Come done by Wes Anderson, it's a very weird romance film but it works, and it's got good offbeat support from Will Arnett and Tom Waits as well. It's good to see a film like this come along, you won't get one like this for a while now. 4/5



The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966), Italian director Sergio Leone directed 5 Westerns in his time, and this one was his best. It's an engaging tale of greed, betrayal and trust set amongst the backdrop of the American Civil War. It has two men, Blondie (The Good, played with a cool exterior by Clint Eastwood), and Tuco, (The Ugly, played by Eli Wallach, stealing every scene he's in), who have an uneasy friendship/rivalry as they play off towns in a bounty hunting scam. But, they soon learn of a stash of gold buried in a Civil War graveyard from a dying man, captured in a Civil War Prison, they come across Angel Eyes, (The Bad, played with a mean ruthlessness by Lee Van Cleef), who was looking for the dead man, but he wants a piece of the buried gold too. This is probabily the greatest Western ever made, (Sam Peckinpah wouldn't have had his wave of cinematic violence without it), it's beautifully shot, with more than a few unconventional flourishes here and there, but it also retains a black sense of humour in it's brilliant dialogue. It's worth watching for Eli Wallach's double-crossing rat Tuco, he's so sneaky, but you can't help but like him, (why didn't he get an Oscar??) Clint is restrained, but shows a world-weary tenacity come the finale and battle sequences. The best Spaghetti Western ever made, with one of the best music themes to it's name by Ennio Morricone. It's times like these you wish you had someone like Leone still alive to make films like this. 5/5

I loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove the music for The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!



The Hide (1st view) - A well-spoken birdwatcher, Roy, sets up his equipment with clinical precision in preparation for his day seeking out the Sociable Plover, after which he will have spotted every native British bird. It isn't long before he's interrupted by David, an uncouth, tattooed younger man seeking shelter from the weather. The pair share sandwiches and talk about everything from birds to power tools. To say much else would be giving stuff away, but the cast of two and the claustrophobic setting help make this film an absorbing drama - 4/5*




The Incredible Hulk (3rd view) - The weakest in the Marvel films so far, but still enjoyable - 4/5





The Vault Of Horror (1st view) -Portmanteau horror film starring Terry-Thomas, Curt Jürgens, Tom Baker and Denholm Elliot. Vampires, voodoo curses, murderous Indian rope tricks. It's all good fun - 4/5*

Thor (2011), based upon the fictional superhero created for Marvel Comics in 1962 by Stan Lee, Larry Lieber and Jack Kirby. Brought to the screen by Kenneth Branagh, this is a comic book hero that could have been a load of cheese, but it isn't, what we didn't count on is that this would be a fun movie, with a very good cast and a good contrast between worlds too. It has Odin (Anthony Hopkins), King of Asgard, fighting against the Frost Giants of Jotunheim in 965 A.D. and making peace. Present Day, Odin's son Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is about to take the throne of Asgard, but is interrupted when Frost Giants breach the security of Asgard. Thor and his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) head to Jotunheim to investigate, and end up starting a new war with the Frost Giants. Angered by Thor's arrogance, Odin banishes him to Earth, along with his hammer Mjolnir. Odin lands in New Mexico, and is found by scientist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings) and Dr. Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgård). While Thor gets used to his new surroundings, back on Asgard, Loki takes command after he learns a few secrets about his past. It's a origin story, and it goes back and forth from fish-out-of-water story in rural America to the grandeur and majesty of Asgard really well. But, it's a very entertaining film, and it doesn't get bogged down in mythology, and has a good ensemble and some good moments of action. Oh, and see it in 2D. 4/5



The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948), John Huston made his masterpiece with this gripping adventure film which had 3 brilliant performances and flawless direction to it's name, it's a film which never gets boring, and there's always something new to discover from it every time you watch it. Set in Tampico, Mexico in 1925, just as the Mexican Revolution is winding up, we meet two down-on-their-luck bums, Fred C. Dobbs (Humphrey Bogart) and Bob Curtin (Tim Holt), who both team up with a grizzled prospector Howard (Walter Huston), who tells both men of a gold claim in them thar hills of Central Mexico, so they set off in search of the gold. They have to deal with Mexican Banditos along the way, but once they find the gold, their friendship is soon marred by a horrible sense of greed that gets in the way. Adapted from a 1927 German novel the mysterious B. Traven, it's a film that's been referenced to death in countless other films that have followed. It's beautifully shot for it's day, and it was a daring film for it's time, very downbeat and gritty. It's one of the few times Bogie looked grizzled and going mad, but it's director Huston's Dad Walter who steals the show in this film, for which he rightfully won an Oscar!! 5/5