What I've Just Watched: Part 2

A Bunch of Amateurs (2008). a low-budget British comedy mostly shot on the Isle of Man that was somehow chosen as the 2008 Royal Command Performance film. Despite such publicity, the film sank without trace, and was slagged off, and it's easy to see why, it's a cliched culture-clash comedy even though it has a game lead who sends up egotistical movie stars. It has Burt Reynolds as Jefferson Steel, a has-been action film star who has seen better days and has been in better films. He wants to do something worthwhile, and his agent Charlie Rosenberg (Charles Durning) gives him the offer of a lifetime, the chance to play King Lear in Stratford, England. Jefferson thinks it's in Stratford-upon-Avon, and arrives in the UK in a flourish of publicity. Only to find he's holed up in the tiny Suffolk village of Stratford St John. The theatre is no more than a converted barn on a pig farm, Jefferson is holed up in a tiny B&B ran by Mary (Imelda Staunton), the Stratford players are a group of amateur actors led by director Dorothy Nettle (Samantha Bond), this isn't what Jefferson wanted, he's miles from home and his creature comforts and clashes with local wannabe thespian Nigel Dewberry (Derek Jacobi). It does have it's moments, but they're few and far between, alot of the comedy on display in the film is obvious and ripped off from any British sitcom. It feels a bit like Local Hero in places, but with little of the charm. 2/5



True Grit (2010), the Coen Brothers ride again, this time with their first proper western, based on Charles Portis' 1968 book previously adapted as the renowned John Wayne film in 1969. However, the Coen's manage to wash away all memories of that film, and create something quite profound, unique, original, moving and absolutely brilliant, how do they do it?? Set in 1878, it has 14 year old girl Mattie Ross (Hailee Steinfeld, who nearly steals the film), who is hunting down the killer of her father, the killer is Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin), and he's disappeared into Indian territory. To help her find Chaney, Ross hires ruthless U.S. Marshal Reuben J. 'Rooster' Cogburn (Jeff Bridges), who is reluctant at first, but they get help from Texas Ranger LaBeouf (Matt Damon), who is also after Chaney as he killed a Texas senator. The unlikely trio head off into the wilderness of the Indian territory, and soon learn that Chaney is hanging out with notorious outlaw "Lucky" Ned Pepper (Barry Pepper) and his gang, but there's rivalry between Cogburn and LaBeouf, and Ross wants Chaney brought to justice. It's a very powerful western adventure, but what's surprising about this one is that it has a sense of humour about it, even if alot of it is gallows humour. The cast are wonderful, especially newcomer Steinfeld, who gives such a confident, powerful debut performance. The Coen's have set a standard of how westerns should be done, and this is proof. 5/5

True Grit (1969), based upon Charles Portis' 1968 bestseller, they wasted no time in bringing the book to the big screen as soon as possible. The film's success would give it's star a long overdue Oscar. It's still beautiful to look at, and it is a good adventure film, well made and shot, bringing out the best of the old American west. It begins when Frank Ross (John Pickard) is killed by his hired-hand, Tom Chaney (Jeff Corey). Ross' 14 year old daughter Mattie (Kim Darby), seeks justice, but the local law enforcement can't do anything, as Chaney is in Indian territory, but there is one man who can help, Rooster J. Cogburn (John Wayne), a drunken, grumpy U.S. Marshal who reluctantly agrees to help. They are joined by young La Boeuf (Glen Campbell), who is looking to collect a reward for Chaney's capture for a previous murder. The three set off on their quest for justice. It's a little dated in look now, but Wayne has a likeable presence as Rooster Cogburn, (a sequel to this was made a few years later), Glen Campbell does well in his film debut, and Darby makes a powerful impression. Director Henry Hathaway gets the best out of the story, keeping it engaging and exciting. The Coen Brothers' new version of Portis' book is much, much better though. 3.5/5



Young Frankenstein (1974), after the success of Blazing Saddles (1974), Mel Brooks found himself as the new king of comedy in Hollywood, and along with Gene Wilder, they decided to do a loving homage and parody to the old Universal horror films of the 1930's, and it's one of his best films. The film has Wilder as Dr. Frankenstein's grandson, Professor Frederick Frankenstein (pronounced Fronkonstein), who has always tried to shy off his families notoriety, who inherits his Grandfathers castle in Transylvania, He meets hunchback Igor, (Marty Feldman, who steals the film), pretty lab assistant Inga (Teri Garr) and sinister housekeeper Frau Blücher (Cloris Leachman), and Frankenstein decides to repeat the experiments of his Grandfather, but it all goes wrong when Igor (pronounced Eye-gor), uses the brain of one 'Abby Normal'' on his masters creation. And, you've guessed it, Victor's creation comes alive, and goes on a rampage, but Victor is determined to make the creature more civilised. It takes a while to get going, but once it gets into gear, the laughs come thick and fast, though you have to pay attention to get alot of them. But, it is funny, and Peter Boyle makes a good monster, and Marty Feldman is funny whenever he's on screen, and although it's humour isn't as in-your-face as Mel Brooks' other films, it is an amusing film, and you'd wish spoofs these days would take note. 4.5/5

The Blood of Fu Manchu (1968), the fourth of a five film series based on Sax Rohmer's Fu Manchu stories. This one was made by Spanish director Jess Franco. Even though the Fu Manchu films were crime stories, this one dips into the horror genre with disasterous results, while it's star is hardly anywhere to be seen for most of the time. This has Oriental criminal mastermind Fu Manchu (Christopher Lee) plotting to take over the world once again. He's hiding out in the Amazonian jungles of South America, and has found snakes that carry a deadly poison in a lost underground city. Fu Manchu's plan involves using the snakes to bite into women, and they will carry the poison. When they kiss a man, it causes the man to go blind, followed 6 weeks later by death. Fu Manchu manipulates kidnapped women to be the carries of the poison, and go out into the world and carry out these killings, One of the women (Shirley Eaton) ends up in London and passes on the poison to Scotland Yard detective Nayland Smith (Richard Greene), Fu Manchu's arch-nemesis. Despite Smith going blind, he decides to venture out into the jungle to find an antidote and put a stop to Fu Manchu's evil scheme. It's not very well made, and despite the exotic locations, is made on the cheap, and director Franco has done better films than this. It's badly edited, badly dubbed and Christopher Lee only appears to plot and scheme for a few minutes of screentime. 1/5



The Castle of Fu Manchu (1969), after The Blood of Fu Manchu (1968) dived partially into the horror genre. The makers retreated from that and did one more film in this series of Fu Manchu films, this one again directed by Jess Franco, who learnt his lessons from the previous outing, and it's star is given more screentime. It's only marginally better. Fu Manchu (Christopher Lee) is back, and this time he has a new plan to freeze the world's oceans, which he can do so with a complex machine. He successful tests his machine out by sinking a luxury cruise liner in the Carribean. However, in order to do make it work further, Fu Manchu and his daughter Lin Tang (Tsai Chin) head for Istanbul, and double-cross local crime boss Omar Pashu (Jose Manuel Martin), they take over his castle, which has a huge cache of opium inside smuggled in from the local port, and Fu Manchu uses the opium to make his machine work. However, hot on the tail of Fu Manchu is Scotland Yard detective Nayland Smith (Richard Greene), who is once again determined to put a stop to Fu Manchu's evil schemes. It is a better film than the previous entry, and is a good travelouge for Turkey back then, Lee is given more to do this time, but it does drag a bit. Maybe Fu Manchu needs a comeback for today's audiences. 2/5

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969), the 6th James Bond film and the one where they did something completely different. They went with a total unknown for the lead after Sean Connery left, they stayed close to Ian Fleming's original novel and kept gadgets and action to a near minimum. The result is the Casino Royale (2006) of it's day, and one of the best Bond films. This has James Bond (George Lazenby) falling for Tracy di Vicenzo (Diana Rigg), who is the daughter of European crime syndicate magnate Marc-Ange Draco (Gabriele Ferzetti), but using Draco's connections and doing a big favour for Draco in Switzerland, Bond is able to use it to aid a case he's working on, where Blofeld (Telly Savalas) is in the Swiss Alps, running a clinical research centre on top of a mountain, looking to allergy cures. Bond goes undercover as Sir Hilary Bray, and discovers Blofeld is brainwashing his patients, 10 beautiful women from around the world, to distribute bio-chemical warfare agents in their respective countries. However, Bond is rumbled, he escapes and is rescued by Tracy. Bond repays the favour by proposing to her, but is it happily ever after?? It's the most emotionally charged off the Bond films, and even if Lazenby is a bit wooden in parts, the film is held together by it's strong plot and Savalas' Blofeld is the best interpretation of the character. However, this one didn't go down well with audiences, so it was back to Sean Connery, gadgets, action and over the top Ken Adam sets for Diamonds are Forever (1971). Pity really. 4/5



Antichrist (2009), from Lars von Trier, one of the most provocative, controversial European filmmakers in recent years, comes his most savage and uncompromising film to date, his horror film. It's an arthouse film, but it's not a film you can 'like', it's absolutely shocking and makes you wonder what goes on in von Trier's head, and whether he needs help. He (Willem Dafoe) and She (Charlotte Gainsbourg) are mourning the sudden, tragic death of their young son Nick (Storm Acheche Sahlstrøm) who falls from their apartment window. As they struggle to come to terms with what's happened, He learns that She's greatest fear is a cabin in the woods in a place called Eden, where She and Nick went the previous summer. He insists that they go to conquer She's fear. However, once they get there, they decend into a psychological nightmare. He learns why She is so affaid of this place, and it's to do with a paper She was writing regarding gynocide and an old piece of folklore known as The Three Beggars. Which come as a Deer, a Fox and a Crow, and She is possessed by some evil spirit. It's hard to say what it all means, but it's one of the most atmospheric films of recent years, plus the opening sequence is beautifully shot. But, it's not a film for everyone, and it will leave you distressed and emotionally shattered, plus the sex in the film is enough to make you sick. 3/5

I've heard things about Antichrist, really not sure if I want to see it.

You'll never want to have sex again after this. Anyways...

Paul (2011), Simon Pegg and Nick Frost ride again, this time without Edgar Wright (who opted for Scott Pilgrim), but they got Superbad's Greg Mottola to direct this funny sci-fi comedy based on a screenplay what Pegg and Frost wrote. Although it spoofs alot of sci-fi films, deep down, the film is a passionate love letter to Spielberg's classics of old. It has aspiring sci-fi writer Clive Gollings (Frost) and sci-fi artist Graeme Willy (Pegg) attending Comic-Con, then completing their trip to America by taking an RV and going cross country looking up famous UFO spots. On the way, they witness a car accident, at the wheel of the car is an alien called Paul (voiced by Seth Rogen), who is a wise-cracking, laid back alien, he immediately bonds with Graeme, while Clive takes time to get used to him. However, hot on Paul's tail is Special Agent Lorenzo Zoil (Jason Bateman) who is working for "The Big Guy" (Sigourney Weaver). Turns out Paul has escaped from the facility he's been held at for years, as they want to learn about his powers. So, Graeme and Clive, along with bible-basher Ruth Buggs (Kristen Wiig) to get away from the feds. It's a very silly film, less subtle than Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, but it is very enjoyable and very funny with Rogen stealing the film voicing Paul, and some amusing appearances from Bill Hader, Jane Lynch, Blythe Danner, John Carroll Lynch and Jeffrey Tambor. Spielberg will be proud of this. 4/5



The Losers (2010), in the same year as other low-budget action films like Red, The Expendables and Machete, came this adaptation of Andy Diggle comic series for DC's Vertigo brand. It has a good little ensemble, but it doesn't really add anything new to the well worn action genre, and The A-Team did just about the same thing but better in 2010 too. It has an elite United States Special Forces team, Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), Jensen (Chris Evans), Roque (Idris Elba), Pooch (Columbus Short) and Cougar (Óscar Jaenada) on a mission out in Bolivia. They save a group of children from drugs dealers. But, the mission goes wrong, when the children are killed in an attack meant for the team. They were betrayed by their commander Max (Jason Patric). Max has got his hands on a weapon known as a snuke, a bomb with the power of a nuclear weapon but without any of the fallout. The team meet up with Aisha al-Fadhil (Zoe Salanda), who is able to smuggle them back into America, and helps them get close to Max. But, this is essentially a suicide mission, but they won't give in without their vengeance. It does have some good moments, but it has non of the charm or particually memorable characters like The A-Team or Red. The action is very well staged though, but it could have been alot better for a film like this. 3/5

Twin Town (1997), produced by Danny Boyle and Andrew MacDonald, straight off their successes with Shallow Grave (1994) and Trainspotting (1996), and written and directed by Kevin Allen, (brother of Keith, who has a cameo.) This is a very fast, furious and funny crime comedy which may not show Wales in a good light, but it's great entertainment. Set in Swansea, it has the Lewis Twins, Julian (Llyr Evans) and Jerome (Rhys Ifans), though they're not really twins but brothers, who are glue-sniffing, cannibis smoking car theives, who live with their family who live off dole money, and live in a series of caravans. Their father Fatty (Huw Ceredig) falls from a ladder while doing roofing worked, cash in hand, for corrupt local businessman Bryn Cartwright (William Thomas). When Bryn refuses to pay compensation for the accident, the twins humiliate Bryn's daughter Bonnie (Jenny Evans), by peeing on her during a karaoke. So, Bryn calls in bent copper Terry Walsh (Dougray Scott), to sort them out, but twins get revenge by killing the Cartwright's dog, and the tit-for-tat continues, until it ends in tragedy and vengeance. For a debut feature, it's very well made, and despite the shoestring budget, it looks like it cost more. Evans and Ifans are very funny as the twins, and this helped put Dougray Scott on the road to greater things, oh and it has a cool soundtrack. 4/5



Rushmore (1998), the second film by Wes Anderson, made soon after the critical acclaim his debut Bottle Rocket (1996) received, this helped cement Anderson as one of the most promising independent filmmakers of recent times. This is one about trying to fit in, and it's got all of Anderson's offbeat flourishes that we've come to expect from him. Set somewhere in Texas, at the prestigous Rushmore academy. The film focuses on eccentric 15 year old student Max Fischer (Jason Schwartzman, his film debut and a very good one too), who has been at the academy for 4 years, and has taken part in alot of extracurricular activities, which takes up nearly all of his time at the school, which is affecting his grades badly. The headmaster Dr. Guggenheim (Brian Cox), theatens to expel Fischer unless he improves his grades, as he does alot of big scale projects without the approval of the school. However, Fischer ends up falling for widowed teacher Rosemary Cross (Olivia Williams), who in turn falls for Herman Blume (Bill Murray), an unhappy industrialist who has a slight friendship with Max. It's very offbeat and quirky, but that's what we've come to expect from Anderson, and the script by Anderson and Owen Wilson has some brilliant dialogue and good moments of detail. Schwartzman shows such confidence in his debut, you'd swear he had years of experience, and Murray has worked with Anderson ever since. 4/5

The St. Valentine's Day Massacre (1967), produced and directed by Roger Corman, and after a decade and a bit of making low-budget exploitation films, this was his first studio film, made for 20th Century Fox. Corman shows alot of promise with this film, and it's a pity he didn't stick with big films, his career could have gone another way. Set in 1929, it shows the events leading up the infamous, titular massacre. It was masterminded by Al Capone (Jason Robards), who was trying to monopolise all of Chicago, but he couldn't get any further as he was facing rivalry from George "Bugs" Moran (Ralph Meeker), who controls the North Side of Chicago, while Capone controls the South Side. Capone wants it all, and after an attempted hit on Capone's life, he plans a revenge Moran will never forget. He uses insiders to get close to Moran's gang, to learn their secrets and their moves. Soon, they chose the time and place to hit Moran and his men, in a garage on February 14th 1929, done by a couple of hoods from out of town, dressed as policemen. Capone was never convicted for it, even though everyone knew it was him. It's actually a very good gangster film, and Corman puts a great piece of history on film. Robards' interpretation of Capone is an interesting take, mean and lean. Corman's regulars all make appearances too, Bruce Dern, Dick Miller and one Jack Nicholson. 4/5



Sexy Beast (2000), maybe the best gangster film of the new millennium, and it's British too. The cinematic debut of advert and music video maker Jonathan Glazer, and produced by Oscar winner Jeremy Thomas. This is an original spin on the well worn gangster genre, but the key to it's success is a very well selected cast, and it's very offbeat in it's direction too. Ex-con Gary "Gal" Dove (Ray Winstone) is now retired, and living a quiet life in his villa in Spain with his wife Deedee (Amanda Redman). But his peaceful retirement comes to an end when an old associate shows up in Spain, the psychopathic Don Logan (Ben Kingsley), who wants Gal back for one more job. It involves breaking into an underground safe via a neighbouring swimming pool, masterminded by Teddy Bass (Ian McShane). Gal says no to the job, as he prefers his life in Spain, but everytime he says no, Don becomes more and more angry and mentally unstable, as he already told Teddy that Gal would do it. Eventually, Gal has a difficult decision to make, but he has to get past the force of nature that is Don Logan. It's very well made, and despite the violence that occurs, it's very relaxing in Spain, and becomes suspenseful out in London. Kingsley nearly steals the film, and Winstone is his usual self but always great. 4/5

Lethal Weapon 1 - 4 (4th view) - All good fun, and I like the more comic aspects of the later entries. The second is my least favourite, and that has a lot to do with the woeful Patsy Kensit, but there's a lot to like in each one - 4/5




The Fourth Kind (1st view) - Documentary-style film about alien abductions in Alaska. Similar things have been done in better films, but I enjoyed this - 4/5*




The Fighter (1st view) - Of the five Best Picture nominees I've seen (Toy Story 3, The King's Speech, Black Swan, Inception), this is the one I like the least. Bale was good, but it was a performance that screamed "Look at me, I'm acting!". Still, as feelgood sports films go, this is a winner - 4/5*




Brooklyn's Finest (1st view) - More corrupt cops from Training Day director Antoine Fuqua, but this isn't as good - 3/5*




Killers (1st view) - Decent romantic comedy/action film, but a bizarre final act spoils it - 3/5*

Renaissance (1st view) - Gorgeous to look at, this animated French film is set in a futuristic Paris in which a policeman is looking for a geneticist who's been kidnapped. The plots labyrinthine and the dialogue often bad, and only Ian Holm delivers with the vocals (Daniel Craid, Catherine McCormack, Romola Garai,Jonathan Pryce are also on hand, but I suspect it would have worked better in the original French). But the animation is sublime, pure black and white for the most part, it's a stunning world to see - 3/5*




Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past (1st view) - Dickens gets the romantic comedy treatment, as womaniser Matthew McConaughey is visited by the ghost of his dead uncle and, and spectres of the past, present and future. I suppose it's decent idea in theory but McConaughey (who I like a lot outside of his romcom roles) is pretty charmless here, and his relationship with Jennifer Garner is never built enough for us to care. Emma Stone however, who I don't like at all really, was the best thing in the film - 3/5*

Diamonds are Forever (1971), after George Lazenby's one-off with On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969), it was decided to back with Sean Connery for this installment, which tries to airbrush the previous film out of existance. They went back into fantasy mode with this and the Ken Adam sets, but it has it's fair share of flaws. This adventure has Bond (Connery) investigating the world of diamond smuggling from South Africa to Holland. He teams up with jewel smuggler Tiffany Case (Jill St. John), and the diamond smuggling then goes across the pond to Las Vegas. Where are the diamonds going and what are they being used for?? All Bond knows is that they're disappearing to an underground lab owned by billionaire industrialist Willard Whyte (Jimmy Dean), but Whyte is being held captive, and in his place is Blofeld (Charles Gray) who Bond thought he'd killed. Blofeld is using the diamonds to power a laser powered satellite which he's controlling from an oil rig off the coast of Baja, California. This is enjoyable while it lasts, but it does reek of haste, (it was made in a hurry and it shows), and most of the time, Connery plays Bond on auto-pilot, (he only did it for the money, all $1.25 million of it.) But, it the good moments outweigh the film's short-comings, but only just. Roger Moore would have been better doing this. 3.5/5



Charlie Wilson's War (2007), from director Mike Nichols and writer Aaron Sorkin, comes this breezy political drama with a sharp comic edge, about one of the biggest turning points in 20th Century history, but hardly anybody has heard of the man, the socialite and the CIA agent who helped bring down the Soviets. This has Texas Congressman Charlie Wilson (Tom Hanks), a womaniser and boozer, who in 1980 after seeing a news report, is inspired to help out rebels in Afghanistan fight against the Soviet Union who are occupying their country. Charlie Wilson has friends in high places, with a little help from Texan sociallite Joanne Herring (Julia Roberts) and loose cannon CIA agent Gust Avrakotos (Philip Seymour Hoffman), they help the Afghans regain control of their country. They were able to broker a deal in Israel, who had confiscated Soviet weapons, to buy them to help the Afghan's fight against the Soviets. But, raising the money to help the Afghan's is a tricky business, but Wilson is able to raise aid from the original $5 million to $1 billion, but non of them know what effects it'll have in the future. A very good character piece, brilliantly directed and thoroughly thought-provoking. Sorkin's script is excellent, Hanks and Roberts are great to watch but Hoffman steals just about EVERY scene he's in, even besting Hanks and Roberts, he's probabily worth seeing this film for alone. 4/5

Tangled (1st view) - Had to see this in 3D thanks to a lack of normal screenings. The 3d wasn't bad, but the film looked so gorgeous I would have liked to have seen it without the dullness. Anyway, I still loved it. Though how it's the second most expensive film ever made, I have no idea. - 5/5*





Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (1st view) - Werner Herzog continues to prove that his best films are those that don't involve Klaus Kinski. Cage was excellent - 4/5*

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (1st view) - The kind of big-budget, CGI spectacular that I usually go crazy for. But it was a bit of a dreary mess overall. Only Alfred Molina was worth watching, and even he wasn't that good - 2/5*

The Brothers Bloom (2008), written and directed by Rian Johnson, whose debut Brick (2005) made a big splash, this is an offbeat, amusing heist film that owes alot to films like Paper Moon (1973) and The Sting (1973). It has a good little ensemble, and it's European locations add to it's strange mood. It has two brothers, Bloom (Adrien Brody) and Stephen (Mark Ruffalo), who make their living pulling off con tricks for 25 years, however they separate, and Bloom retires to Montenegro. Yet, Stephen finds him and convinces Bloom into doing one last job, it involves a con on New Jersey heiress Penelope Stamp (Rachel Weisz), and the brothers pose as antique smugglers, with mute Japanese explosives expert Bang Bang (Rinko Kikuchi) in tow. They head to Greece where they meet with a Belgian called Maximillen known as The Curator (Robbie Coltrane), who tells the brothers of a book in a museum in Prague, and they convince Penelope to sneak into Prague Castle, where the book is kept. However, not everything goes to plan, Penelope learns the truth about the brothers, and they encounter their old mentor. It takes it's sweet time getting going, but once the con is in place, it gets moving, and it's little ensemble do well. Brody and Ruffalo make a good double act, but the show is nearly stolen by Kikuchi, even if she hardly ever says a word. 3.5/5



Spies Like Us (1985), John Landis was the king of comedy films in the 1980's, this was maybe his last great comedies of that decade, (this and ¡Three Amigos! (1986)), but this was a comedy in the vein of the old Bob Hope/Bing Crosby Road To... movies, done with a 1980's attitude, and it has a good double act too. It has two bumbling workers within the The Pentagon, Austin Millbarge (Dan Aykroyd) who is a codebreaker based in the basement who wants to be a secret agent and Emmett Fitz-Hume (Chevy Chase), a pencil pusher upstairs who is in the business because his grandfather and father were. When they both blow an exam, the Defense Intelligence Agency see them as perfect expendable decoys to draw attention from a more professional team. Millbarge and Fitz-Hume are quickly trained by Colonel Rhombus (Bernie Casey), and dropped into Afghanistan. While the professional team become a cropper, Millbarge and Fitz-Hume amazingly survive, and get away from Afghan freedom fighters, and into Soviet Russia to stop a SS-50 ICBM launcher from destroying America. This was when comedy was good, and Landis always knew how to shoot comedy and get the best from his actors. Plus, he has directors in cameo roles, like Joel Coen, Frank Oz, Sam Raimi and Terry Gilliam. Chase and Aykroyd make a good double act too, and even Bob Hope himself turns up!! 4/5

RV (2006), directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, whose films include The Addams Family, Get Shorty (1995) and Men In Black (1997) comes this road movie, which is a homage really to the National Lampoon's Vacation films of the 1980's, only this one is alot more family friendly, despite gross out gags throughout. This has father Bob Munro (Robin Williams) struggling to connect with his children Cassie (Joanna Levesque) and Carl (Josh Hutcherson) who would rather use the internet than be with their Dad. After Bob's boss Todd (Will Arnett) is humiliated by Cassie's friend, Todd sends Bob to present a merger proposal for their soda company in Boulder, Colorado. Bob had a holiday in Hawaii planned then, but he has a plan, he decides to drive from California to Colorado in a rented RV, meaning he can spend time with his family, even though Bob's wife Jamie (Cheryl Hines) isn't sold on it. But, they set off, and immediately face problems, including Bob being unable to control a large vehicle, a clogged sewage system, an invasion of raccoons and the Munro's running into the upbeat travelling Gornicke family, consisting of Travis (Jeff Daniels), Mary Jo (Kristin Chenoweth). It's a very silly film indeed, but it does have laughs, Williams doesn't resort to sentimentality, which is good, but Daniels steals the film whenever he and his family appear. 3/5



The Abyss (1989), from James Cameron, self-proclaimed King of the World, made this as his follow-up to Aliens (1986), inspired from a science lecture Cameron saw when he was 17, which he consequently did a short story about. It is a very good film, very claustrophobic and well made, and it makes you want Cameron to return to stuff like this rather than championing 3D. When the USS Montana, a missile submarine sinks off the coast of the Bahamas, and the Soviets on their way to salvage the submarine, the American's send a SEAL team with an oil platform to go down to the submarine first. The platforms designer Dr. Lindsey Brigman (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio) comes along to help, while her estranged husband, Virgil "Bud" Brigman (Ed Harris), is also there as the foreman. However, while under the water, they discover strange creatures they can't comprehend, and a hurricane hits on the surface, causing the platform to nearly fall into the trench. However, with power down, and SEAL leader Lt. Hiram Coffey (Michael Biehn, with a very stupid moustache), showing his true colours as a nasty piece of work. Cameron knows how to do a good action film, and he likes tough women in his films too and finds a good one in Mastrantonio. It would not be Cameron's last venture into water based films. 4/5

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997), the 18th James Bond film, hot off the heels of Goldeneye (1995), which gave Bond his big comeback and made a new Bond with Pierce Brosnan. This was the first Bond to be made after the death of longtime producer Albert R. Broccoli, and they also had to think of new villains, seeing as Soviet Russia was gone. But, they made a very good Bond film under these circumstances. This one has James Bond (Brosnan) investing the sinking of the HMS Devonshire, which was allegedly torpedoed by passing Chinese MIG's when the ship was allegedly in international waters. However, it turns out that media mogul Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce) corrupted the position of the ship to provoke a war between China and the United Kingdom, seeing as China refused Carver's network the broadcast rights in their country. Bond travels to Hamburg and Saigon to investigate what Carver is up to, alongside Bond is Chinese spy Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh) who is investigating Carver for the Chinese, Bond also encounter's Carver's wife Paris (Teri Hatcher) whom he'd dated years before. This is a by the numbers Bond film, but it is very entertaining and Brosnan shows much confidence in the role of 007. It has some good gadgets from Q branch, and good moments of action from a mobile phone controlled car chase, and a motorbike chase in Saigon. Maybe the best Brosnan Bond. 4/5



Sukiyaki Western Django (2007), from Japanese director Takashi Miike, a director known for such controversial films like Audition (1999), Ichi the Killer (2001) and The Happiness of the Katakuris (2001) comes this offbeat western, which is a bit like The Good, the Bad, the Weird (2008), but this has good humour, and it's a love letter to Yojimbo and Sergio Leone's films. It's set in the small town of Yuta, Nevada (though this Nevada seems to be in Japan), and has a lone gunman (Hideaki Itô) coming into a town between two warring clans. The Genji and the Heiki, who have been at war for years with one another. The Genji are ruled by cool tempered Yoshitsune (Yusuke Iseya) while the Heiki are led by the hot-tempered Kiyomori (Koichi Sato). Both gangs see the gunman, and both gangs want to enlist him in one another gangs, but the gunman will only offer his services to the one who gives the highest bid. Besides, the gunman also wishes to aid a grieving prostitute get revenge on both gangs for the death of her husband at their hands. The plot owes alot to the Wars of the Roses, as both gangs are Reds and Whites. Miike has fun in the western genre, although it does feel odd with Japanese actors speaking English. Plus, there's a cameo from Miike superfan Quentin Tarantino as Ringo. 3/5

Black Dynamite (1st view) - Very funny spoof of blaxploitation films - 4/5*





The Blind Side (1st view) - Predictable but enjoyable - 4/5*




Get Him To The Greek (1st view) - Two good jokes that occurred within one minute of each other. The rest was lame and why, oh why does Brand have an acting career? - 2/5*

Blood: The Last Vampire (2009), based on a 2000 Japanese anime film of the same name directed by Hiroyuki Kitakubo, this is an action horror film that combines kung-fu action with vampire gore, rather like what Hammer's The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974) did. Although this one has alot more gratuitous violence and a plot that's too complex. Japan, 1970. This has young Saya (Gianna Jun), who is really a four hundred year-old half human-half vampire samurai, who works for a secret group known as The Council, who have been hunting down vampires for centuries. Saya's next mission involves going undercover as a student in a high-school on an American military base. She gets to know Alice McKee (Allison Miller), daughter of General McKee (Larry Lamb, yes that one off Eastenders!!) who is very prejudiced about the Japanese. However, after an encounter in the school's gym with a group of vampire's, Alice's life is in danger and goes with Saya, who face more vampires, and eventually head vampire Onigen (Koyuki), who murdered Saya's father. It's a very silly action film indeed, not as bad as what some critics make out and the bad CGI blood just detracts from the whole experience. It tries to be like a schlocky B-Movie, knowingly so, but not hard enough. 3/5



Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005), from Shane Black, renowned for such humourous violent action films like Lethal Weapon (1987), The Last Boy Scout (1991) and The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) comes his first film in 9 years, and he directed it as well. It makes a good pairing for it's leads and it's a welcome return for Black as well. The film is told in flashback by small time crook Harry Lockhart (Robert Downey, Jr.), who also plays around with the way the story is told. After one botched job, on the run from the police, he ends up hiding out in an audition for an action film, and the producer's think he's a method actor. So, they cast him in the film and fly him out to Hollywood, and he's teamed up with private detective "Gay" Perry van Shrike (Val Kilmer), who is to help Harry prepare for his part in the film. While out at a party, Harry meets his childhood sweetheart Harmony Lane (Michelle Monaghan), but any chance of a relationship is quashed when Harry uncovers a conspiracy regarding a murder of a high-profile heiress, something which could incriminate Perry, and Harmony thinks Harry is really a detective. It has some good moments, playing with filmic conventions, jumping backwards and forwards, and Downey Jr. and Kilmer play well off each other, and this helped Downey Jr. get his comeback. Good for him, let's hope Kilmer gets his next. 3.5/5

Franklyn (2008), the debut feature of Gerald McMorrow, and produced by Jeremy Thomas (The Last Emperer, Naked Lunch, Crash). This is a very odd fantasy film that had all the elements of a classic, but it ends up being muddled, confused and weird. Even by the end, you're still non the wiser about what's just happened. Set in London, it has suicidal student Emilia (Eva Green) who films her suicide attempts as installations for a college project, which upsets her peers and family, there's Milo (Sam Riley) who was recently jilted at the altar, and meets a blast from the past in Sally (Green again). Meanwhile, in the parallel universe of Meanwhile City, masked vigilante Jonathan Preest (Ryan Phillippe) is looking to kill his nemesis known as The Individual, this is a world steeped in religion, and everyone there is subscribed to a different religion, except Preest. Back in London, Cambridge church warden Peter Esser (Bernard Hill) has come to town looking for his lost son David, who fought in Iraq, but he has escaped from a military mental institute and seems to have escaped to a delusional fantasy world. I suppose all this makes sense on paper, which is what attracted so much talent, but on film, alot of it is just a mess. The fantasy sequences in Meanwhile City are OK, but the film lurches back and forth between these bits and modern day London quite awkwardly, and the explanation of everything at the end just makes your head spin. 2/5



The New World (2005), Terrence Malick's follow-up to The Thin Red Line (1998), his first film in 20 years. It seemed like he wouldn't be in any rush to make a new film, but he did, and he took on the story of Pocahontas, and he breathes such life into a oft-told tale, and puts his own inimitable stamp on the events that follow. Virginia, 1607, and 3 ships of the Jamestown Expedition, sent to establish a colony in The New World, discover tribes of native American's, and learn from their craft and ways of life. The leader of the expedition, Captain Christopher Newport (Christopher Plummer), makes a settlement, but alot of the crew succumb to disease and shortage of supplies. Newport sends hot-headed Captain John Smith (Colin Farrell) up river to trade with more tribes. Smith falls for Pocahontas (Q'orianka Kilcher), daughter of Chief Powhatan (August Schellenberg). However, the tribe attack the English for not leaving, and Smith choses his career over his love for Pocahontas. He leaves, and she falls for John Rolfe (Christian Bale), who she marries, has his son, and goes to England. Malick directs this subject delicately and accurately, and he has a good eye for nature, and that's what this film is about, Pocahontas is one with Mother Nature, and the cinematography by Emmanuel Lubezki is absolutely gorgeous. The acting is spot on, (especially Kilcher), and it's epic running time flies by as it's so engaging. 5/5

The Boxer (1997), the third film made between Irish director Jim Sheridan and Daniel Day-Lewis after My Left Foot (1989) and In The Name of the Father (1993), this was an original work although it took it's inspiration from real-life events happening at that time. It's a boxing film, it's a political film and above all, it's a love story. After 14 years in prison, former Provisional IRA Volunteer Danny Flynn (Day-Lewis) is returning home to Belfast. Even though Northern Ireland is still in a state of political unrest, Danny wishes to put his past behind him, and move on. After meeting his old boxing trainer Ike Weir (Ken Stott), Danny decides to get back into boxing, and starts a non-sectarian boxing club for boys in an old hall. However, one night, Danny finds a secret stash of weapons hidden beneath the stage of the hall, after disposing of the weapons he faces the wrath of IRA lieutenant Harry (Gerard McSorley) who is out for revenge for Danny's actions. Meanwhile, Danny has been romancing old flame Maggie (Emily Watson), but Harry uses their relationship to infuriate IRA district chief Joe Hamill (Brian Cox), who is working towards peace. It's a powerful film, and you can't believe Belfast was once like that, (the film was made in Dublin), but it has some good performances, and the boxing bouts are well done, even if they are few and far between, and would rather focus on the political turmoil of the times. 3.5/5



Hamlet 2 (2008), directed by Andrew Fleming, best known for Threesome (1994) and The Craft (1996), and co-written by South Park staff writer Pam Brady. This is an amusing comedy about ambition and vision. It takes a while to get going, but it pays off well with it's musical production. It has failed actor Dana Marschz (Steve Coogan) who is now a drama teacher in Tuscon, Arizona. However, his productions are all based on popular films like Erin Brockovich. When Principal Rocker (Marshall Bell) announces he's cutting the drama class, out of desperation, Dana decides to go out with a bang, and create something totally original, a sequel to Hamlet. Although Dana's unruly class warm to the project, they are questionable of the content, which includes homosexuality and Jesus in modern times. However, the school decide to shut it down, moving the whole production to a warehouse, then Dana's wife Brie (Catherine Keener) leaves him for fertile lodger Gary (David Arquette), although Dana meets his favourite actress Elisabeth Shue (playing herself) now living in Tuscon as a nurse having quit being an actress. It is a bit of a hit and miss comedy, and Coogan does feel out of place in a role any American comedian could have done, although the whole film pays off at the end in spades with the production of Hamlet 2, with songs like "Raped in the Face" and "Rock Me, Sexy Jesus". If only the film had focused more on that. 3/5

True Grit (1st view) - Superb western fom the Coen brothers, and certainly more award-worthy than their modern western from a few years back. Excellent cast, but I do look forward to the dvd with subtitle so I can figure out what Bridges was saying. Much, much better than the Wayne film - 5/5*





The Sorcerer's Apprentice (1st view) - I'd read that this was similar to Percy Jackson. In a way, it is. In that, the lead found out he was a demigod and had to fight eveil. In this, the hero finds out he's a wizard and has to fight eveil. Diference is. this film's quite good fun - 4/5*




The House Of The Devil (1st view) - A college student responds to a babysitting offer and finds herself charged with looking after an elderly woman in a large, isolated house. As an attempt to recreate an 80s style horror film, it works wonderfully, and is one of the best horror films I've seen in a long time - 4/5*

We Dive At Dawn (2nd view) - What would British WWII films be like without John Mills? He seemed to have been in every one ever made! In Which We Serve, This Happy Breed, The Way To The Stars, Dunkirk, Ice Cold In Alex, The Colditz Story, So Well Remembered, King Rat, Tunes Of Glory, I Was Monty’s Double and this fine submarine drama. He plays the captain of the Sea Tiger, a sub charged with the mission of sinking a German battleship. A lot of the scenarios seemed familiar from many other such submarine films (U-571 in particular) but this is one of the very best of the genre, and pretty much all of the characters seem human rather than caricatures. Being made in 1943, the ending was really never in doubt, but it’s a great ride getting there - 4/5




Ghost Rider (2nd view) - Good fun. Looking forward to the sequel - 4/5

Ronin (1998), directed by John Frankenheimer, noted for films like Birdman of Alcatraz (1962), The Manchurian Candidate (1962) and Grand Prix (1966), this is a taut, suspensful thriller with alot of twists and turns throughout, as well as one or two very well done car chases, plus a good international ensemble. It begins in Paris, where a group of former special agents and soldiers are called together for one job. They are Sam (Robert De Niro), Vincent (Jeno Reno), Spence (Sean Bean), Larry (Skipp Sudduth) and Gregor (Stellan Skarsgård), and they've been assigned by IRA council member Deirdre (Natascha McElhone) to get their hands on a case whose contents are never revealed to the audience. However, there's alot of others after the case and it's contents, Deirdre's boss Seamus O'Rourke (Jonathan Pryce) reveals that the Russians are after the case. The team depart for Nice, and plan an ambush for the convoy who have the case. But, nothing goes to plan, and members of the team are betraying one another, and try and get the case for their own means, but who's playing who?? Sam and Vincent team up to find out what's going on. It's well made, and it's ensemble do well, (Reno is best, while De Niro seems to be on auto-pilot), the car chases through the narrow alleys of Nice is very exciting indeed, and it has a plot and ending Hitchcock would have been proud of. 4/5



A View To A Kill (1985), the 14th 007 adventure, and it was also Roger Moore's final outing as James Bond. By this point, he was too old to be playing James Bond, he was 58 going on 88, and it shows. Plus the film relies too much upon it's humour, and the plot is a rehash of all that went on in Goldfinger (1964). This adventure has Bond diving into the world of microchips and why microchips being developed by British and KGB are the same, it takes him to European industrialist Max Zorin (Christopher Walken), who also rigs horse races so that horses bred by him can win. Bond goes from Paris to San Francisco, and discovers that Zorin is planning to monopolise the microchip market by getting rid of the competition, by causing an earthquake which will sink Silicon Valley so he can control the market. Can Bond stop him?? By this point, the franchise was starting to look like a bit of a joke again, and this one resembles a bad 80's action film made by Cannon Films. It does have it's moments, but Moore was too old to be doing stuff like this, seeing him lusting over Tanya Roberts and Grace Jones is creepy. Thank heavens Timothy Dalton came along and blew the cobwebs off the franchise!! 2/5

The Adjustment Bureau (1st view) - Good. I liked Damon and Blunt a lot, but think about it too much and it's full of plotholes - 4/5*




Burning Bright (1st view) - Trapped in a boarded-up house! During a hurricane! With an autistic kid to look after! And a man-eating tiger on the loose! - 4/5

Chariots of Fire (1981), the little British film of 1981, that became the big film that did. This inspirational, yet low-key film captured the publics hearts and imagination, a true story about overcoming prejudice to succeed. This would win 4 Oscars including Best Picture, and made producer David Puttnam the king of British film in the early 1980's. It starts in 1919, when two students enrol at Cambridge University, Jew Harold Abrahams (Ben Cross), faces anti-semitism from the staff, including the college masters (John Gielgud and Lindsay Anderson), but he partakes in the Gilbert and Sullivan club and becomes the first person to complete the Trinity Great Court Run. Meanwhile, devout Scottish Christian Eric Liddell (Ian Charleson), is a keen runner, though it attracts concern from his family as they want him to do God's work as a Mission. Abrahams and Liddell, because of their ability as fast runners are entered in the 1924 Olympics in Paris. However, they face tough competition, and then Liddell learns the 100m race will be on a Sunday, which he refuses to do, until friend Lord Andrew Lindsay (Nigel Havers) comes up with a simple solution which will mean more work for Liddell. It's very well made, and why hasn't Hugh Hudson made more films?? He shows a good vision, and gets the best from his ensemble. It shows a time of tradition, when people stuck to their guns and personal beliefs, and how to believe in yourself and win. Oh, and the Vangelis score is amazing. 4/5



The Adjustment Bureau (2011), very loosely based upon Philip K. Dick's 1954 short story Adjustment Team, this takes the basic premise of Dick's story (now dated somewhat) and updates it to a contemporary setting. It's a very smart thriller with some good ideas on display and something to make it's viewer think, which is rare for most films these days. It has David Norris (Matt Damon) a charming politician running for U.S. Congress, however when he loses his lead, he meets Elise (Emily Blunt), who encourages him to be more honest with his speeches. A few weeks later, David meets Elise again on a bus, but it turns out David was not to have seen her again. His destiny is being controlled by some men in suits, who work for an agency controlling people's lives. David is told by Richardson (John Slattery) and Mitchell (Anthony Mackie) that his life is all part of a plan. Years pass, and David finally see's Elise again, but nothing is going to keep them apart this time. The agency pass the case onto Thompson (Terence Stamp), who tells David about his destiny and why his life will change if he stays with Elise. It's a think piece, and it's about how little choices we make will change our lifes in big ways, it has some good ideas, including a door to door chase, and Matt Damon is a likeable lead, just a pity there wasn't more of Terence Stamp, who is a sinister force. 4/5