What I've Just Watched: Part 2

The Adjustment Bureau (2nd view) - Think about it too much and it's full of plotholes but it's very enjoyable and both Damon and Blunt are extremely likeable - 4/5

Dan In Real Life (2007), written and directed by Peter Hedges, (writer of What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993) and About a Boy (2002)), this is a touching and gently amusing comedy-drama about the madness, frustration and support of family. It's a good film, and it gives it's star, normally known for manic comic roles, a chance to slow down and do a role with meat and gravitas. Dan Burns (Steve Carell) is a newspaper advice columnist, and a widower with 3 daughters, Jane (Alison Pill), Cara (Brittany Robertson) and, Lilly (Marlene Lawston). Every year, they go on a week long holiday to Dan's parents (Dianne Wiest and John Mahoney) home in Rhode Island, there we meet Dan's brothers Mitch (Dane Cook) and Clay (Norbert Leo Butz) and his sister (Jessica Hecht). On the 2nd day, Dan drives into town to give his daughters some space, and in a bookshop, he meets Marie (Juliette Binoche), and they instantly connect and have breakfast together. However, things take a turn for the worse after they leave and go their separate ways when it turns out Marie is Mitch's girlfriend, and Dan and Marie have to try and deny they're attracted to each other, difficult as this family has no secrets. It's warm, poignant and funny, done mostly within one house, it's a bit like a chamber piece, but it's amusing, sad and sometimes hilarious. Carell shows a side he hasn't done that much since, but he shows a good knack for it. 3.5/5



The Dictator (2012), Sacha Baron Cohen rides again, and this time he takes on Middle Eastern dictators with this spoof/satire of the mad leaders that make headlines. Cohen has done away with the mockumentary style he used on Borat (2006) and Brüno (2009), in fact, this is closer in tone and structure to his debut Ali G Indahouse (2002), but it's very funny and so wrong too. Admiral General Aladeen (Cohen) is the ruler of the Republic of Wadiya, he hates the west and he hates Jews, he has all female bodyguards, his vehicles are made of gold and has Megan Fox and other celebrities over some evenings. When word gets out that he's developing nuclear weapons, the UN threaten to intervene, so Aladeen goes to New York to speak before them, but Aladeen finds himself betrayed by his uncle Tamir (Ben Kingsley), and nearly ends up being assassinated by a hitman (John C. Reilly). But, Aladeen escapes, and ends up being rescued by political activist and health food shop owner Zoey (Anna Faris), who helps him get back on his feet, but Aladeen has to figure out how to get back into power before his beloved nation of Wadiya becomes, horror of horrors, a democracy. It's a funny comedy, and Cohen manages to take every dictator, past and present, and makes a naughty stew out of them to create Aladeen, (or Alison Burgers as he calls himself in New York). It's not as provocative or as dangerous as it probabily should be, but there are some good laughs to be had throughout, and it'll be interesting to see what Cohen does next. 4/5

Soldier of Orange (1977), Paul Verhoeven was a brilliant filmmaker in Holland long before he went to Hollywood, and with this one, he touched upon a very personal subject, World War II, something he lived through in Nazi-occupied Holland as a boy. This film is a remarkable true story, and it makes you wonder why Paul Verhoeven doesn't do more films like this?? He shows great confidence with historical tales. This one focuses on one corner of the Dutch Resistance, fighting against the Nazi's, in particular a group of young Dutch students who include Erik Lanshof (Rutger Hauer), Guus LeJeune (Jeroen Krabbé), Jan Weinberg (Huib Rooymans), Alex (Derek de Lint). and Robby Froost (Eddy Habbema). The film shows Erik and Guus travelling to London, where Holland's Queen Wilhelmina (Andrea Domburg), is living in exile. They work in co-operation with Colonel Rafelli (Edward Fox) for the Allied Forces, trying to help bring down Nazi occupation in Holland, all for Queen and Country. It's an exciting and entertaining film, capturing the era well. and it is serious with it's subject matter, (of course, knowing Verhoeven, there is the odd splash of nudity and nasty violence here and there.) Verhoeven touched upon the resistance again with the equally brilliant Black Book (2006), he should be making more films if they can be as strong and compelling as this. 5/5



Black Book (2006), after spending nearly 20 years in Hollywood making thrillers and sci-fi films, Paul Verhoeven returned home to Holland to create a very personal war film, one that has parallels with Soldier of Orange (1977). It's compelling, moving and brilliantly made, but it has his usual touches of sex, nudity and violence, but it's one of the best war films of the last decade. In 1944 Holland, young Jewish woman Rachel Stein (Carice van Houten) has been hiding from the Nazi's, after the farmhouse she's been staying at is accidentally bombed by the Americans, she escapes with lawyer Smaal (Dolf de Vries), and is helped by a member of the Dutch Resistance called Van Gein (Peter Blok). In The Hague, she contacts Resistance leader Gerben Kuipers (Derek de Lint), who wants Rachel to go undercover by working for and then seducing Nazi Commander Ludwig Müntze (Sebastian Koch), however, things don't go to plan. Müntze susses out that Rachel is Jewish, but he does not care and agrees to keep it secret, and things get more complicated when Rachel learns that there's a betrayer in the Resistance, who's giving secrets away to the Nazi's. It's a complex but brilliantly made war thriller, with a brilliant lead performance by Carice van Houten, who goes through hell for Verhoeven, from dying her pubes in close up to having excrement poured all over her. But, it's a good tale of heroics and fighting against the Nazi's, and Verhoeven should be directing more films if he can make them as compelling and exciting as this. 4.5/5

The Ninth Gate (1999), it had been 5 years since Roman Polanski made Death and the Maiden (1994), but when he read Arturo Pérez-Reverte's 1993 novel The Club Dumas, he saw brilliant potential for a film, and he got it up and made. It's quite an enjoyable and dark mystery, with elements that hark back to when Polanski made Rosemary's Baby (1968), it's lead is likeable and funny in a deadbeat way too. Dean Corso (Johnny Depp) specialises in antiquarian books, but he's a maverick at what he does, always coming out well financially. He's assigned by book collector Boris Balkan (Frank Langella) to validate a copy of a book he has by Aristide Torchia called The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows, there are only 3 in existance, and Balkan has one of them. There have been stories about a curse surrounding the book and that one of them, and that one of the copies of the book was a version whose author was the devil himself. Corso is skeptical but goes along with it, travelling to Spain, Portugal and France to meet the two other people who have copies of the book, he's helped by a mysterious woman (Emmanuelle Seigner), but wherever they go, there's murder and someone is wanting Balkan's copy. It's a very dark mystery, but it's enjoyable while it lasts with Polanski adding some good visual touches and some quite eccentric characters as well. Depp has fun as the bewildered and intrigued book dealer who gets more than he bargained for. But it's dark and intriguing, even if it holds off from showing true supernatural forces. 3.5/5



What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966), after making his acting and writing debut with What's New Pussycat? (1965), Woody Allen got an offer by American International Pictures to oversee the dubbing of a Japanese spy film they'd acquired called International Secret Police: Key of Keys (1964), Allen and his friends redubbed it Who's Line Is It Anyways? style, it was a success at the time, but studio interference made Woody very distrusting of Hollywood ever since. The original film was a comedic spy caper directed by Senkichi Taniguchi, with Woody's redub, it has spy Phil Moskowitz (Tatsuya Mihashi) being assigned by the Grand Exalted High Majah of Raspur ("a nonexistent but real-sounding country") to find a secret egg salad recipe that was stolen from him. That's about it, the original cut of the film was only an hour long and Allen intended to have it sold to TV, however executive producer Henry G. Saperstein wasn't happy with this, and added another 20 minutes to the film behind Woody's back, including footage of The Lovin' Spoonful, who also composed a soundtrack for the film as well. Woody wasn't best pleased, and threatened the producers with a lawsuit, however, when the film came out and was a hit, the lawsuit was dropped. As a result of being knifed in the back here, Woody ensured he got complete creative control on all his films ever since. The film itself is a hotch-potch of gags, some funny, some are groaners. But the novelty itself wears thin after about 15 minutes. It's a novel idea, but it could have been done better. 2.5/5

Macbeth (1948), Orson Welles' career was in trouble after The Lady from Shanghai (1947) went over budget and was a flop in America, but even so, Welles was able to convince Republic Pictures to fund a film version of Shakespeare's Macbeth, but because of limited funds, Welles could only afford to use sets leftover from Westerns that Republic had made. It's a good adaptation, but it's very dark and despite being made on a shoestring, it's well made. In the wilderness of Scotland, three witches (Peggy Webber, Lurene Tuttle and Brainerd Duffield) make a prediction that Scottish captain Macbeth (Welles) will become King of Scotland, the currant king of Scotland, Duncan (Erskine Sanford) names Malcolm (Roddy McDowall) as his heir. Macbeth tells of the prediction of the witches to his wife Lady Macbeth (Jeanette Nolan), who urges him to kill Duncan and become King of Scotland. Macbeth does so and they frame Duncan's guards for the crime, however when Macduff (Dan O'Herlihy) comes to the castle, and see's what's happened, he instantly becomes suspicious of what really happened, while Lady Macbeth starts going insane. It's well made, despite the dodgy sets and costumes, (not Welles' fault), but it was all downhill here for him sadly, it has good performances, even though it was filmed in 23 days, with all the dialogue pre-recorded. It's a shame Welles' was exiled from Hollywood in the years that followed. 4/5



Twelfth Night (1996), directed by Trevor Nunn, maybe the most prolific theatre director working today, this adaptation of William Shakespeare's 1602 play was brought to date somewhere in England in the late 19th Century, with an all star cast to boot. It's a good adaptation, but it's a tad overlong, but it has it's funny moments and it's full of comedic misunderstandings and farce throughout. Twins Viola (Imogen Stubbs) and Sebastian (Steven Mackintosh) are on a ship which ends up shipwrecked and Viola and Sebastian end up separated, Viola believes her brother is dead and she dresses up as him in order to pass off as a page boy called "Cesario" to join the court of the local Duke Orsino (Toby Stephens). Orsino is in love with Lady Olivia (Helena Bonham Carter), but Orsino is shy, so he sends "Cesario" to do his wooing, but it backfires when Olivia falls for "Cesario", unaware that she's a woman!! But, it's even further complicated when Orsino's household staff Maria (Imelda Staunton), Feste (Ben Kingsley) and Sir Toby Belch (Mel Smith) trick steward Malvolio (Nigel Hawthorne) into thinking Olivia loves him, and then Sir Toby's friend Sir Andrew Aguecheek (Richard E. Grant) also falls for Olivia. It's a complex comedy of misunderstandings, but you won't get a big, talented cast like this again. But, it takes advantage of some beautiful locations in Cornwall, which comes out very well on film. The films length is an issue, as it was a long play, and to try and condense it into a film was always going to be tricky, but they succeeded. Just. 3.5/5

You, the Living (2007), written and directed by Roy Andersson, (A Swedish Love Story (1970), Giliap (1975) and Songs from the Second Floor (2000)), this was his 4th film in 37 years, (he'd done hundreds of adverts though), but this is a very surreal and blackly funny portmanteau of vignettes which show the ironies of life and as director Andersson pointed out "the grandeur of existence," you won't be seeing something as daring as this again. It has 50 vignettes, some connected, some not. It begins with an overweight woman (Elisabeth Helander) bemoaning her life and rejecting her overweight biker boyfriend (Jugge Nohall), it also has a carpenter (Leif Larsson) explaining he'd had a dream where he was sentenced to the electric chair for breaking a 200 year old chona set after the tablecloth trick goes wrong, and how a girl (Jessika Lundberg) finds her musical idol, Micke Larsson (Eric Bäckman), they marry and their apartment block ends up moving on a railway. There's a (Olle Olson) getting his hair butchered by an upset barber (Kemal Sener) before attending a meeting where the CEO (Bengt C. W. Carlsson) drops dead, oh and a sousaphone player (Björn Englund), plays at the funeral. It's a weird film which owes a lot to Monty Python and The Mighty Boosh. It's very amusing and if one of the vignettes doesn't work, don't worry, there'll be another one along in a few minutes that will work. It'll be interesting to see what Anderson does next, even if he is less prolific than Terrence Malick. 4/5



Tales from the Golden Age (2009), the brainchild of Romanian director Cristian Mungiu, who also produced and wrote this film, he would direct one segment in this 5 part portmanteau film along with Hanno Höfer, Constantin Popescu, Ioana Uricaru and Razvan Marculescu. This film shows the lighter side to Romania when it was in it's darkest days of Nicolae Ceauşescu's regime. It manages to be gently amusing and well made too. The first piece is The Legend of the Official Visit, where a rural town prepares for Ceauşescu passing through, and the plans that the Mayor (Teodor Corban), but it goes awry. Then, in The Legend of the Party Photographer, there's a problem when a photographer (Avram Birau) gets a photo of Ceauşescu, which leads to a newspaper recall. In The Legend of the Chicken Driver, truck driver Grigore (Vlad Ivanov) makes a bit on the side by stealing eggs from the chickens he delivers. In The Legend of the Greedy Policeman, a policeman Alexa (Ion Sapdaru) acquires a live pig, and tries to kill it for food, then in The Legend of the Air Sellers, Crina (Diana Cavallioti) and Bughi (Radu Iacoban) diddle people out of glass bottles and jars. It's well made, and it's a good look at how people got by and prevailed in Ceauşescu's Romania, it was a simpler way of life, but it was one where people were brought down by this brutal regime. Despite what people went though under Ceauşescu, it's a wonder there's any laughs in this film at all, but even though these tales are legends, they're still good to watch 4/5

The Truman Show (1998), Peter Weir was very picky with what Hollywood offered him after Fearless (1993), but when he got Andrew Niccol's dark sci-fi script, he saw perfect potential, but he made it light where Niccol's script was dark, and he made it an arty, light film, but with a dark satirical edge. Little would Weir know that he would create a premonition of things to come in the next decade, but it's brilliantly made with a brilliant lead performance. Truman Burbank (Jim Carrey) lives on the island town of Seahaven, he works in insurance and has a loving wife in Meryl (Laura Linney), however Truman's life has been filmed and broadcast 24 hours a day to a worldwide audience, and Seahaven is a set built in a massive dome, and everyone he knows are actors. Shortly before his 30th birthday, Truman begins to doubt the world he lives in, from hearing his movements on the way to work being read out by the crew over the radio, his wife blatantly advertising products at random moments and everything is the same every day. Truman then makes a bid to escape from Seahaven, even though he's scared of the water, and the shows creator Christof (Ed Harris) tries everything to try and keep him within Seahaven. It's a beautiful film, with some brilliant surveillance type cinematography by Peter Biziou, but it's also a thought-provoking film, as reality TV is everywhere now. But, while most sci-fi films are set in the future, this has an old-fashioned look and feel to it, it's science fact at it's scariest. Carrey is brilliant, showing talent he'd never displayed before, this is one of the best films of the 1990's, and it's still relevant today. 5/5



The Raid (2011), directed by Gareth Evans (Merantau (2009)), this is a gripping and tense action film that harks back to the Asian action films from the 1980's and 90's. Evans was supposed to have made a prison film called Berandal after Merantau, but funding collapsed, so he set his sights on something smaller and contained, and what a good choice he made, you would think there wouldn't be anything more to add to the tired old action genre, but Evans proves everyone wrong. In Jakarta, Indonesia, there's an impenetrable tower block in one of the slums, ruled with an iron fist by crime lord Tama Riyadi (Ray Sahetapy), who is producing drugs on the premises. However, an elite SWAT team, led by Sergeant Jaka (Joe Taslim), is assigned to take down Tama, and to raid and secure the block, they're helped out by Lieutenant Wahyu (Pierre Gruno), so it should be a piece of cake. It isn't. No sooner than they start going up the stairs to the top where Tama resides, the 20-Man SWAT team walk into a trap, and are ambushed by Tama's men, most of them are gunned down, but rookie cop Rama (Iko Uwais) proves to be more dangerous and strong than Tama's team imagined. Even if you may have seen a plot like this before, don't worry, you haven't seen anything like this, it's fast and furious and so tense and exciting. Evans knows how to create tension and suspense, even if the camera does move a bit fast, it's still very entertaining. The good news is that Evans will be doing Berandal as his next film, and he's tinkered with it to make it a sequel to this film. On the basis of this, he should do the next Bond film!! 4/5

All The President's Men (1976), directed by Alan J. Pakula, this film formed the third part of an unofficial trilogy on paranoia that Pakula started with Klute (1971) and The Parallax View (1974). Based on the book by journalists Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, adapted for film by William Goldman. It's a slow moving but well made and ultimately suspenseful film focusing on a few months which nearly compromised the American government. In June 1972, when five burglars are arrested for breaking into the Democratic National Committee headquarters at the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The Washington Post's editor Ben Bradlee (Jason Robards) assigns news reporter Bob Woodward (Robert Redford) to investigate why they did it, he learns that one of the arrested men James W. McCord, Jr. (Richard Herd) worked for the CIA, and that President Richard Nixon's Special Counsel Charles Colson, also has ties with the burglars. Bradlee assigns Carl Bernstein (Dustin Hoffman) to work with Woodward, and they work brilliantly together, but the complexity of the case makes it impossible to crack, but Woodward finds an anonymous source in "Deep Throat" (Hal Holbrook), who is able to help out. It's a good thriller, one where there's nary any action or murders, but it manages to be uncomfortable and intriguing. Hoffman and Redford play well off each other, and it captures the paranoid mood of America at the time. You can see where David Fincher got his inspiration for the look and feel of Zodiac (2007) from this. 4/5



The Limey (1999), after finally hitting the mainstream with Out Of Sight (1998), but before finding Oscar glory with Erin Brockovich (2000) and Traffic (2000), Steven Soderbergh did this low-budget but very effective crime drama. It showcases a fantastic lead performance from one of England's best actors, who gives one of his best performances. It also harks back to the crime dramas of the 1970's, which were similar in look to this. Wilson (Terence Stamp) has just done a stretch in prison in England, but he's recently been released and he's gone over to Los Angeles after he hears that his daughter Jenny (Melissa George) was killed in a car accident. Wilson received the bad news in a letter from Eduardo Roel (Luis Guzmán), who tells Wilson that Jenny was shacked up with record producer Terry Valentine (Peter Fonda). Something doesn't seem right about how Jenny died, so Wilson investigates further, and it takes him to actress Elaine (Lesley Ann Warren), who with Eduardo, is able to get him close to Valentine, but not for long. Valentine see's that Wilson is after him, and wants answers, so he goes on the run to Big Sur, but Wilson is hot on his tail. It's a suspenseful crime drama, very well made, and it makes good use of sparse, run-down areas of Los Angeles that you seldom see on film. Stamp is terrific as Wilson, speaking in Cockney slang that perplexes everyone he's talking to, with flashbacks to a younger Stamp in Ken Loach's Poor Cow (1967), while it's good to see Fonda as a baddie, with appearances from cult 70's actors like Barry Newman and Joe Dallesandro. 4/5

Resident Evil: Afterlife (1st view) - I know I shouldn't but I really like the Resident Evil films - 4/5*




The American (1st view) - Yay! Existential hitmen! This probably would have been higher and got an extra star if it weren't for the blood awful captioning during the Italian-language sections,. I think they were written by any ant. Hubble telescsope wouldn't have been able to make them out - 3/5*




Fright Night (1st view) - Probably not as good the the original, though I can remember fairly little about that despite only seeing if last year. David Tennant's list of performances still only contains one good turn - 3/5*

Dark Shadows (1st view) - A highly misleading trailer that contains almost all moments of levity from within the film won't do Dark Shadows any favours. It's a much more sombre affair. I'd been informed that the original soap was actually along the lines of The Munsters or The Addams Family. If that truly is the case than this film's tone must deviate massively from the show. And it's the tome that's the problem. Being a Burton film it's sets and visuals are predictable gorgeous, Elfman's score lavish (and one of his best in years) but the mix of drama, horror, romance and comedy never gels completely, each genre having it's own peak but never feeling as part of a whole. Plot strands seem forgotten and others appear out of nowhere, it could have done with being a while longer. But none of this stopped me having a ball. Much of the cast are pretty forgettable but the impossibly attractive Eva Green and the even more impossibly attractive Johnny Depp both clearly relish their roles and that enthusiasm shines through. I'd love to see a sequel to this but for now, I might see try and rent that recently released 20 episode set of the show. If that goes well, ther 133 disc set out later this year could be something to keep me busy for a while! - 4/5*

Dog Soldiers (2002), the feature debut of Neil Marshall, who has gone on to do acclaimed yet violent films such as The Descent (2005), Doomsday (2008) and Centurion (2010), this was a low-budget but highly effective horror film with some good imagination, and with some cheeky winks to other successful films praised by fanboys, it's a good start to a successful career, and it's a good twist on old legends. It has a squad of six regular British Army soldiers dropped into a remote part of the Scottish Highlands on a routine training exercise, they consist of Private Cooper (Kevin McKidd), Sergeant Wells (Sean Pertwee), Corporal Campbell (Thomas Lockyer), Private Witherspoon (Darren Morfitt) and Private Kirkley (Chris Robson) who discover they are not alone in the wilderness and discover strange things happening, with wolf like creatures on the rampage,. They come across wounded Captain Ryan (Liam Cunningham) from the SAS. They are found by zoologist Megan (Emma Cleasby), who finds them refuge in a remote house. But it's not long before the creatures find them, and it's then a race for survival. It's very well made for such a low-budget film, with good camaraderie and tenacity from the cast, who play well off each other all adding tension and even humour in places. Marshall keeps the tension up, but he finds room for a lot of fun, it'll be interesting to see what he does for his next film. 4/5



The Hunted (2003), directed by William Friedkin, whose once successful career has been up and down since Sorcerer (1977) and Cruising (1980). This is a by-the-numbers thriller set in the Oregon wilderness, despite the best efforts by two game leads, it's all been done loads of times before, despite some good moments and some well staged action, it could have been better. When two CIA hunters are killed in the wilderness of the Pacific Northwest in a vicious attack, L.T. Bonham (Tommy Lee Jones), a former special operations instructor now living in the snowy remoteness of British Columbia is asked by FBI Agent Abby Durrell (Connie Nielsen) to help them investigate, as the FBI believe that the man responsible for the killings is Special Forces soldier Aaron Hallam (Benicio del Toro), who has gone renegade from severe battle stress after a bad mission in Kosovo. Hallam was a former pupil of Bonham, and Bonham agrees to help, but finding Hallam is not easy, but when Bonham finds him, he learns that Hallam is running from the army, as they want to kill him in case he gives away confidential secrets. After being captured once, Hallam escapes, and Bonham and Durrell lead a manhunt across country. It's hardly the most original idea for a film, (when you think about it, it's essentially a remake of First Blood (1982)), but it doesn't go on forever, and it has some good stunts and the two leads showing fierce strength in their roles. Friedkin could do better, and has done better than this. 3/5

Barb Wire (1996), the directorial debut of music video director David Hogan (whose only film credit was Most Wanted (1997)), this was based on a series of comics printed by Dark Horse Comics for only 9 issues between 1994 and 1995, created by Chris Warner. This was hyped to hell because of it's star, but was a massive commercial and critical flop, it's film that falls perfectly into the "so bad it's good" catergory, despite it's shortcomings, it's actually fun, maybe for the wrong reasons. Set in 2017, set during the Second American Civil War, where America has been brought to it's knees by the Congressional Directorate. However, there's only one place of freedom in America, and that's Steel Harbor, here nightclub owner Barb Wire (Pamela Anderson), who also works as a mercenary and bounty hunter. When government scientist Dr. Corrina "Cora D" Devonshire (Victoria Rowell) ends up on the run with freedom fighter Axel Hood (Temuera Morrison), with Colonel Pryzer (Steve Railsback) after them. Barb ends up in a plot trying to help them, but she's only out for herself, and she finds herself mixed up in more than she bargained for. The plot is essentially a remake of Casablanca, with the roles switched around, but it should be awful, it should be the sort of film you should avoid, and it does have some dodgy acting and some dodgy effect, but it somehow manages to work against the odds. It has some good action sequences, and it's actually quite enjoyable. 3/5



Evolution (2001), directed by Ivan Reitman, whose career post-Ghostbusters has been up and down with comedies of various strengths. This one is the best of his later films, it was originally intended as a serious sci-fi horror film until Reitman got his mitts on it, and saw comedic potential. It works as well, and it's there with other funny creature films like Lake Placid (1999) and Eight Legged Freaks (2002). Set in Arizona, a meteor lands in the middle of the desert, and local college professor Ira Kane (David Duchovny) and his colleague, geology professor Harry Block (Orlando Jones) go out to investigate and collect samples. What they find are nitrogen based organisms that are evolving and multiplying at a fast speed, but they soon find that the Army have closed off the site, with General Russell Woodman (Ted Levine) and clumsy Dr Allison Reed (Julianne Moore) shutting them out of the research, and it's not long before the organisms start getting into the nearby town of Glen Canyon. Kane and Block, with help from trainee fireman Wayne Grey (Seann William Scott), who was nearly hit by the meteor, have to find a way to contain the spread of alien organisms. It's a very funny film with some funny moments and some good imagination when it comes to the alien creatures in the film, and it has the best use of product placement ever in a film for it's finale. Reitman gets good performances out of his cast, and finds a place for Dan Aykroyd, making an amusing cameo as the clueless State Governor. 4/5

What Just Happened (2008), loosely based on the book by Art Linson, who did the screenplay and produced the film, and directed by Barry Levinson. This is a satirical look at the wheeling-dealing that goes on in Hollywood, it's not as sharp or as biting as what Get Shorty (1995) or even Levinson's own Wag The Dog (1997) was, but it has some good moments with a good cast as well. Hollywood producer Ben (Robert De Niro) has just made a film by maverick British director Jeremy Brunell (Michael Wincott) called Fiercely starring Sean Penn (as himself), which has shocked test audiences with it's bleak ending. Studio executive Lou Tarnow (Catherine Keener) wants to recut the film, and that suggestion leads Jeremy to throw a massive tantrum. Meanwhile, Ben is in pre-production on a film with Bruce Willis (as himself) attached as the lead, however, Willis has grown a massive beard, and when Ben asks Willis to shave it off, Willis answers back with a nasty foul-mouthed response, and on top of that, Ben has discovered his second wife Kelly (Robin Wright Penn) is having an affair with screenwriter Scott Solomon (Stanley Tucci). It's a good film, but it's not as clever as it thinks it is, but it's worth it just to see Willis taking the piss out of himself, but there is a nagging feeling that this should have had a more of an Extras approach with more celebrities sending themselves up. But, it does give De Niro one of his best performances in years, playing Ben with a deadpan beat attitude that works. 3.5/5



Men in Black III (2012), ten years after Men In Black II, Lowell Cunningham's creations are back on the screen, with Barry Sonnenfeld back directing and it's stars back with a few new faces too, one of which is the film's secret weapon as to it's success. It's funny and with some good aliens on display as well, but the film unfortunately gets itself in knots with it's time travel storyline. Agents J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) are still doing their job for the Men in Black agency, now ran by Agent O (Emma Thompson), but when J comes in one morning and finds K has been dead since 1969, O reveals he was killed by alien criminal Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement), who had escaped from a prison on the moon. J is sent back in time to July 1969, just days before Apollo 11's blast off to the moon, and soon finds himself face to face with the younger K (Josh Brolin). It takes a while for J to explain to the younger K what's going on, but K soon accepts it, and they go across New York in search of Boris The Animal, and they have help from alien Griffin (Michael Stuhlbarg), who has a key to the future protection of the Earth. It does have good moments, and Brolin manages to steal the film with a spot-on impersonation of Jones in his youth, while Clement has fun as the baddie impersonating Tim Curry. It's good to see them back on the screen, and it has some brilliant alien designs courtesy of Rick Baker, who does well with the 1969 aliens, and it captures that year well too. It could have done with a more coherent script mind. 3.5/5

Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974), directed by Val Guest (The Quatermass Xperiment (1955), The Day the Earth Caught Fire (1961) and Casino Royale (1967)), and based on the series of books by Christopher Wood. This film became the most successful film at the UK box-office in 1974. It might not have aged well, but there's an endearing quality about it which makes it watchable, and it was the most successful of X rated sex films out at the time. Timothy Lea (Robin Askwith) has been employed as a window cleaner by his wheeling-dealing, philandering brother-in-law Sidney Noggett (Anthony Booth), they both live together with Timmy's Dad (Bill Maynard), Mum (Dandy Nichols) and sister Rosie (Sheila White). With Rosie pregnant, and Sidney looking forwards to becoming a father, he turns to Timmy to give their customers a "service with a smile", however Timmy is very clumsy, and his bumbling often ends up with him in bed with women having sex with bored housewives and even lesbians. But, when he falls for policewoman Elizabeth Radlett (Linda Hayden), Timmy has to watch his step if he wants to succeed, but every woman seems to want him!! It's a very silly film, but this is what floated the boats of cinemagoers back then, and even if it does have an un-PC attitude here and there, but it made Robin Askwith a star as our hapless hero who ends up in sexual situations, along with cameos from British TV too. But, it's a film from the 1970's, and proud of it.



Confessions of a Pop Performer (1975), with Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974) a big success, a sequel was ordered for immediate production, although they had no book to go from, Christopher Wood wrote a screenplay, with Norman Cohen (Till Death Us Do Part (1969), Dad's Army (1971) and Adolf Hitler: My Part in His Downfall (1972)). It's more of the same, but with window cleaning replaced by pop music. After their window cleaning business dries up, Sidney Noggett (Anthony Booth) is at the pub, and he overhears a local band led by Nutter Normington (Peter Cleall), and has an idea to become their manager, which they accept. Sidney gets his clumsy brother in law Timmy Lea (Robin Askwith) to help him, and they rename the band with a respectable name. Kipper. But, after an accident, Timmy becomes the drummer for Kipper, and wherever Timmy Lea goes, he has a barrage of bored housewives and shop clerks coming onto him sexually (again), but Kipper look set to get their big break into showbiz thanks to Mr. Barnwell (Bob Todd) and Maxy Naus (Peter Jones), but can Timmy keep his pants on?? It's more of the same, and there is some silly fun to be had here, not so much with Askwith getting into more sexual situations, but the music that Kipper come up with as well. It was another success, even if it's not as good as the first film. 3.5/5

Confessions of a Driving Instructor (1976), the third film in the Confessions films, and they were gathering momentum and coverage in the press, both positive and negative. This was meant to have been the second film, but Confessions of a Pop Performer (1975) was selected instead to cash in on pop music. With this one, it was more of the same as usual, but there are some laughs to be had along the way as usual. After dabbling in the window cleaning business and the world of pop music, Timmy Lea (Robin Askwith) and his brother-in-law Sidney Noggett (Anthony Booth) try their hand at the competitive world of driving schools, with Timmy getting his licence to be a driving instructor, and no sooner than he's behind the wheel, he's got women getting into top gear with him, clutching his gear stick and taking him for a ride. But, Sidney and Timmy have stiff (oo-er!!) competition from rival driving school owner Mr Truscott (Windsor Davies), and his slimy associate Tony Bender (George Layton), but Timmy finds a kindred spirit in Truscott's daughter Mary (Lynda Bellingham), and despite Timmy always getting into sexual situations, the company is a success. It's the same as it has been for the last 2 films, with Askwith's bottom getting most of the laughs, but it manages to have some amusing cameos, like Irene Handl, Liz Fraser and Ballard Berkeley. It was starting to wear thin by this point, and more and more into very silly farce. 3/5



Confessions from a Holiday Camp (1977), the last film in the Confessions series, after just 4 films, the plug was unceremoniously pulled, even though the films were very popular financially, even if the critics couldn't stand them. In this one, the makers switched the suburbian settings that had frequented the first 3 films with something completely different, it has varying results, and the same old sexual shenanigans as before. Timmy Lea (Robin Askwith) and his brother in law Sidney Noggett (Anthony Booth) now have jobs as entertainment officers at Funfrall, a typical British holiday camp, where it's raining all the time, and the staff including homosexual compere Lionel (Lance Percival) and Northern emcee Roughage (Colin Crompton) are hanging around all the time with nothing to do. However, all that changes when a new boss comes to the camp in the form of ex-prison officer Mr. Whitemonk (John Junkin), who wants to turn the camp's fortunes around, and get the holidaymakers in, even though Timmy and Sidney come up with the idea of holding a beauty contest, which they hope will prevent them from getting the sack, but Timmy ends up in more sexual situations yet again from lusty young women. The joke has worn thin by now, probabily just as well. More films were planned, but Columbia Pictures had a change of guard and they scaled back their UK operations, and so the Confessions films went. Shame, they were fun while they lasted, it's a shame this wasn't as good as the first 3 before. 2.5/5

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I've never seen a Confessions film,. I may have to!

Oh, you're in for the time of your life!! A lot of them are all the same, with Robin Askwith in someone's house, and the bored housewife/au pair comes onto him and due to his clumsiness, they end up having sex, (Askwith always looked like he was in pain during the sex). Then her posh, husband in a suit with umbrella and bowler hat (maybe old enough to be her grandad) would come home early, and Askwith would have to escape down a drainpipe with nothing on.

Downtown (1st view) - Anthony Edwards and Forest Whittaker star as mismatched cops in this comedy drama and it;'s their chemistry that makes it worthwhile - 3/5*



Uncertainty (1st view) - Sliding Doors-alike plot that sees two widely different scenarios play out for likeable couple Joseph Gordon Levitt and Lynn Collins - 3/5*



Lake Placid (3rd view) - Ace monster movie. Brendan Gleeson and Oliver Platt steal the show - 4/5

Wolfen (1st view) - A good cast - Albert Finney, Gregory Hines, Edward James Olmos, Tom Noonan and Diane Venora - and directed by the man who made the superb Woodstock, but this manages to be one of the most tiresome and dreary werewolf films ever made - 2/5*

Surrogates (2nd view) - Bruce in a bad wig! Really dodgy effects! Silly plot twists! What more do you want? - 3/5*

F for Fake (1974), Orson Welles' last completed film, and one which could be one of his finest ones, is a playfully, playform experimental quasai-documentary about forgery. It was made while he was trying to get funding for The Other Side of the Wind, which he filmed on and off between 1970 and 76, but the backers of that asked him to do this essay. The result could be possible one of the most original films ever made. Welles introduces the film in his own unique way, using magic and sleight of hand to show what a charlatan he is. He says this is a film about fakes, and he uses two examples, art-forger Elmyr de Hory who was living in exile away from the law in Ibiza and Clifford Irving, who wrote the supposed "authorized autobiography" of Howard Hughes. Welles lectures the audience that a forgery is a form of art, and that he himself used forgery to get into theatre, beginning in Dublin in 1931. The whole film is a deception, a piece where Welles tells us the truth for an hour, and then, for the last 17 mins, tells us a very convincing story about Picasso, which is all false. Alot of this was from an abandoned documentary by his friend François Reichenbach about de Hory and Irving, which Welles appeared in, but Welles makes it his own, using some clever tricks to deceive his audience and it does put in a good case for forgery, no matter how wrong it is. 4.5/5



The Guard (2011), the directorial debut of writer John Michael McDonagh (whose brother Martin McDonagh did In Bruges (2008), and produced this one), this is a black comedy which ended up become the most successful independent film in Ireland. It's a film with stuff you shouldn't even be laughing at, but at it's heart, it's a good twist on the buddy-cop film, set in a very original location. On the west coast of Ireland in Connemara Gaeltacht, Sergeant Gerry Boyle (Brendan Gleeson) works for the Garda Síochána, (the Irish police), and there's been a rather grisly murder in the neighbourhood, where the number 5½ was left smeared in blood on a wall. At a high ranking police briefing, FBI Agent Wendell Everett (Don Cheadle) attends, explaining that a boat leaving the Dominican Republic with $500 million worth of drugs, ("that's half a billion lads"), is thought to be heading for Ireland, and Everett finds himself teamed up with Boyle, who has an unorthodox way of going about business, but it's not long before they find the villians in Francis Sheehy-Skeffington (Liam Cunningham) and Clive Cornell (Mark Strong), but nothing is as simple as it looks. It's very funny but also very violent with lots of strong language around as well, but Gleeson and Cheadle make a good team, both from different backgrounds, but they click. It makes the most of it's locations in Galway, and it acts like a character in the film itself. 4/5

Confessions (1st view) - SPOILERS - Superb Japanese film in which a teacher's desire for revenge on the two student's responsible for her daughter's death has tragic consequences. Amazingly bleak film, gorgeously filmed and with some great performances, it's easily the best favourite Japanese film I've seen - 5/5*

Men In Black (30th+ view) - I used to watch this film about 3 or 4 times a year. It was the perfect choice when I had 90 minutes to kill or just wanted to cheer up a little, but I last saw it back in 2007. 5 years and 4 months after my last watch, it's lost none of its charms and it remains the best live action comedy from the last 15 years. It's rarely laugh out loud but it's constantly humorous and I have a permanent smile when watching it. Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith work brilliantly together but the stars of the show (Rick Baker and Danny Elfman aside), is Vincent D'Onofrio, managing to twist and turn his body in such a fashion that I now believe that is what giant cockroach inside a human skin suit would move like. The absolute greatest part of the film is when when leaves the diner and attempts to act nonchalant and gives that salute to the passer-by. It's a superb moment that always has me in stitches - 5/5

Prometheus (1st view) - SPOILERS - I wasn't really all that excited about seeing this. Sure, I love Ridley Scott's films and his first film in the series is just brilliant but there's whole mythology that's been built around the series that lends it a reverence that I think is undeserved. Alien is a great film that's followed by three (or five) massively inferior sequels, and Alien itself works perfectly on it's own. Is the world clamouring for Spielberg to make a prequel to Jaws just because we all want to know where the shark came from? That's a bit how I felt like going into this. But it worked really well, and distancing itself from the Alien films was to its advantage.

As is to be expected from Sir Ridders, this is a gorgeous film to look at and there are some grand set-pieces (in terms of repulsive freakishness, the surgery sequence rivals anything the series so far has chucked at us). It's lucky it looks so nice and can quicken the pulse so frequently, because there are also a great many laughably moments in both dialogue and plot. It never manages to marry the existential questions if refers to with the action and at times felt like an average schlocky sci fi/horror that you find in the Asda retail charts starring no-one you've ever heard up, but dressed up nicely and with a director who can provide tension. But it is to the films credit that, looking back, I'm really only remembering the good stuff. And I'm glad that both Rapace and Fassbender made it to the end, the latter in particular surprising me as I've never been impressed by him before. They gave the two best performances in the film and the possibility of them both being in another film excites me. I'd certainly like to see the story continue. Preferably with a tidier script.




Men In Black II (4th view) - Doesn't come close to reaching the heights of the first film - 3/5





The Grey (1st view) - Very good survival thriller and one of Neeson's best performances in years - 4/5*

Volver (2006), written and directed by Pedro Almodovar, this is a drama that manages to be simultaneously dark and light at the same time, it's plot came from a story that originated in Almodovar's The Flower of My Secret (1995), and it's look and tone was heavily inspired by the films of Federico Fellini, and it has a touch of Hitchcock's Rope (1948) and The Trouble With Harry (1955) about it. Sisters Raimunda (Penélope Cruz) and Soledad (Lola Dueñas) return to the village where they grew up in La Mancha to tend to their parents grave, while they visit their elderly Aunt Paula (Chus Lampreave), Paula's cancer stricken neighbour Agustina (Blanca Portillo) claims to Raimunda and Soledad that she saw Paula talk to an apparition of their deceased mother mother Irene (Carmen Maura). Meanwhile Raimunda's husband Paco (Antonio de la Torre) tries to rape their daughter Paula (Yohana Cobo), the younger Paula stabs him in self defence, killing him. Raimunda hides the body in the freezer an unused restaurant next door, however, a film company asks Raimunda if she can cater for them. Then, the apparition of Irene appears to Raimunda, as if she didn't have enough on her mind. It's a complex but very engaging drama, with a strong female cast led by Cruz, who got an Oscar nomination for this. It's a film about death, but it shows different kinds of death and how people react and come to terms with death, before and after. 4/5



The Pope's Toilet (2007), from Uruguay, written and directed by César Charlone and Enrique Fernandez, (Charlone was cinematography on City Of God (2002) and The Constant Gardener (2005)), this is a film with an offbeat premise, ever-so partially inspired by true events, but it has the gritty realism of Ken Loach and Mike Leigh, but it also has cheekiness and humour of Ealing. Uruguay's contribution to cinema might be limited, but this is a good one. In 1988, in the poverty stricken town of Melo in Uruguay a few miles away from the Brazilian border. Petty smuggler Beto (César Troncoso), does runs on his bike across the border to get food and supplies from Brazil, but he's usually stopped by customs, but he sometimes gets around the border, only to be caught sometimes. However, when it's announced that Pope John Paul II is to visit Melo on a pilgrimage, and that people from miles around, Uruguay and Brazil alike. Beto has an idea to make a bit of money, he plans to build a toilet where the thousands of pilgrims can find relief, however with lack of money and the local customs officers breathing down Beto's neck, it's not going to be easy to pull off such a visionary idea. This was Uruguay's entry for the 2008 Oscars, it didn't get nominated but it probably should have, as it's warm, touching, poignant and gently funny, but it shows the hardships that people in Uruguay faced then and that some still face now. The title alone should warrant it as a must see. 4/5