What I've Just Watched: Part 2

The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King (45th view) – 100/100



Last April I saw The Fellowship Of The Ring again on the big screen with the score performed live, this April was The Two Towers and now the trilogy is complete with Return Of The King. I haven't seen ROTK since December 2008, and the version I saw this time was the theatrical cut, not seen by me since 2005. No matter, because even in it;s shorter form it is just scene after scene of excellence. I recently wrote a thread about LOTR that mainly consisted of me praising the music and admitting how often I cry when watching them. Well, the music was a good as ever, just perfect throughout (Three times I wanted to cheer - Arrival at Minas Tirith, Beacons, Ride of the Rohirrim) and even in a packed auditorium and with many scenes missing, the last 45 minutes had me in tears. Simply amazing.



Capitalism: A Love Story (1st view) - Michael Moore's not entirely unbiased take on corporate America and how the less fortunate get ill-treated by the government. It's eye-opening at times with some very moving aspects. Like all his film, quite funny too at times. I liked it especiually when Moore wrapped crime scene tape around the buildings on Wall Street - 4/5*

The Hole (2010), Joe Dante returns to cinema for the first time since the critical and commercial disappointment of Looney Tunes: Back In Action (2003). This time, it's a return to his roots in a way, something back to basics, even though it's in 3D. It's that most rarest of films, a horror film for all the family, and Dante, who got his start with horror, is the perfect man to do it. Set in the town of Bensonville, Oregon. It has the Thompson family moving there from New York. Mother Susan (Terry Polo), and her two sons Dane (Chris Massoglia) and Lucas (Nathan Gamble). Dane is finding it hard to get settled into this new life, while Lucas just wants to play, but they soon befriend neighbour Julie Campbell (Haley Bennett), and they discover a padlocked trapdoor in the basement of the Thompson house. Under the door is a hole that seems to be a bottomless pit. But, once exposed to the darkness of the hole, Dane, Lucas and Julie have to live up to their greatest fears, and they even look for answers from the house's previous occupant Creepy Carl (Bruce Dern), but the nightmare is far from over. It's similiar in tone to Dante's segment for Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983) and his sci-fi adventure Explorers (1985). It is a fun film with some genuine scares throughout, and Dante gets good performances from his young cast, and there's a good sense of imagination throughout. Welcome back Mr. Dante. 4/5



Lisztomania (1975), A prime example of a film so bad, it's brilliant. Ken Russell does another film of a classical composer, but giving it the same bonkers, modern attitude he'd used in Tommy (1975). Roger Daltrey plays Franz Liszt as if he were a 70's rock star, and it focuses on a supposed rivalry between him and Vampire Nazi Richard Wagner (Paul Nicholas) who marrys Franzie's daughter Cosima (Veronica Quilligan), how he tried to win the affections of Princess Carolyn of Russia (Sara Kestelman) and tries to marry her too, and even encounters The Pope, (Ringo Starr, in cowboy boots as well!!) Probabily the most bonkers film ever made, it's the biggest load of incoherent twaddle ever made, BUT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!! It's visually beautiful, but it shows Russell at his very best with the mad imagery and over the top performances, including a 19th Century swordfighting duel done to a Texas hoedown, a Chaplin influenced flashback, an example of Liszt's 'Genius' and a grand piano that shoots flames and lots of sex & nudity. But, it has some moments in it which beggar belief!! Plus, it has a score by Rick Wakeman of Yes, and Daltrey is a good actor as well!! 5/5

Home (1st view) - Interesting drama starring Isabelle Huppert. She and her family have lived for a decade in a remote, isolated house located at the end of an unfinished motorway, but turmoil arrives when the road is completed and thousands of vehicles pass by daily. Very good - 4/5*




Back To The Future (30th+ view) - I think this is the first old favourite I've seen on the big screen through a re-release. LOTR doesn't count as I saw them first time round, It's A Wonderful Life I'd only really loved for a few years when I saw that and Apocalypse Now Redux had extra stuff and I hated the original anyway, and I can''t think of any others at the moment. Oh, maybe Toy Story in 3D, which I missed first time round But that's all besides the point. Back To The Future is brilliant, plain and simple, and it was a joy to watch it again after about 4 years. I generally hate it when people go on about films today not being like they were, but BTTF and a very select few from the 80's have a aspect of sheer wonderful enjoyability that most (most I say, not all) blockbusters of today lack. Perfect casting for the leads, great music, excellent comedy and tension, and a cracking script (even if Toy Story's Rex does better a few of George McFly's lines). Excellent - 5/5

Of Time and The City (1st view) - Documentary from director Terence Davies about his life in Liverpool when he was growing up and how the city has changed - 4/5*





Buried (1st view) - Inventive and suspenseful - 4/5*

The Lady Vanishes (1938), before Alfred Hitchcock moved to America, he was Britain's top director, and this was one of his best films during his early British period. A suspenseful, exciting adventure with intrigue, danger and a vein of wit. The film would be Hitchcock's ticket to America, since then, he hardly ever looked back. It begins in an unnamed European country before World War 2, it has passengers travelling home to England, including musician Gilbert (Michael Redgrave), tourist Iris (Margaret Lockwood) and elderly governess Miss Froy (May Whitty). Iris befriends Miss Froy on the train home, but as she received a bump on the head at the station, she falls asleep, and when she wakes up, Miss Froy has vanished. The passengers deny they ever saw Miss Froy, one of the passengers Doctor Egon Hartz (Paul Lukas), that because of Iris' bump on the head, she must be hallucinating. She eventually convinces Gilbert that Miss Froy did exist, and several clues convince them that she's still on the train. It's a little slow going at first, but once the action is on the train, it becomes an exciting and fast-paced film. It's well made, and you can see some flashes of the tricks Hitchcock would later employ in his films in Hollywood. The performances are top notch, and the film never lets up. Best was to come from the Master of Suspense. 4.5/5



The 'Burbs (1989), Joe Dante became a very successful director after The Howling (1981) and Gremlins (1984). After Innerspace (1987) did well, he was offered this black comedy described by writer Dana Olsen as "Ozzie and Harriet meets Charles Manson". It's got a weird sense of humour, but it works well with a good little ensemble, and it's tight setting. Set in a quiet suburb of Hinckley Hills, Iowa, in a cul-de-sac. It has family man Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks) curious to know more about the neighbours who moved in next door, they don't reveal themselves to the world, and strange noises come out of the basement at night. Disturbed by the strange noises that go on from the house, Ray convinces neighbours Art Weingartner (Rick Ducommun) and Vietnam veteren Lt. Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern) to investigate. They are revealed to be the Klopek family. Werner (Henry Gibson), Reuben (Brother Theodore) and (Courtney Gains), who seem eccentric and unnerving. Then their elderly neighbour Walter Seznik (Gale Gordon) vanishes, could the Klopek's have had anything to do with it?? It's got an unnerving quality about it, but the banter and offbeat nature of it makes it funny and spooky. Dante has always been good with offbeat films, and gets good performances from his cast, nicely rounded out by Carrie Fisher, Wendy Schaal and Corey Feldman. 3.5/5

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010), Oliver Stone returns with a sequel to the Oscar-winning Wall Street (1987), now set against the back-drop of the credit crunch of 2008. It's tonally different to the original, but it has good performances throughout, but with a subject like this, it deserved to have more bite and be more savage. Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglas) was released from jail in 2001 after serving an 8 year sentence for insider trading, he spends the next few years by rebuilding his life and writing an autobiography. Meanwhile, his estranged daughter Winnie (Carey Mulligan) is dating young trader Jacob Moore (Shia LaBeouf) who works for Wall Street investment bank Keller Zabel Investments, under his boss and mentor Louis Zabel (Frank Langella). However, when the bank goes under because billionaire Bretton James (Josh Brolin) blocks attempts of a rescue. Jacob turns to Gordon get even with Bretton James, and so does Gordon, but Gordon also wants to reconsile with his estranged daughter too. It lacks the punch of the original, there's too much Shia LaBeouf, and not enough of Michael Douglas. The film is stolen by a brief cameo by Eli Wallach, who should have had more screentime. The split-screen cutaways look like something out of Ugly Betty too. Despite good intentions, it could have been alot more, but it feels neutered. 3/5



The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977), directed by John Landis, and written by David Zucker, Jim Abrahams and Jerry Zucker. This is a fast and furious spoof of films, television, educational films and adverts. Like what we would later expect from their writers, if one joke doesn't work, not to worry, there'll be another one along in a minute that will work, but it is very funny indeed. It's essentially a sketch film, featuring parody's of breakfast television, daredevil shows (Rex Kramer, Danger Seeker) and courtroom shows. There's also spoofs of TV commericals, including one for a board game called Scot Free, one about how crude oil can be extracted from teenagers faces. But, best of all, are the movie spoof trailers for cheap exploitation films like Catholic High School Girls In Trouble, (which should have it's own spin-off!! ) Blaxploitation action with Jews in Cleopatra Schwartz, and a big disaster film starring George Lazenby and Donald Sutherland in That's Armageddon! Oh, and educational films including Zinc Oxide and You, The Joy of Sex and one from Henry Gibson on Death. It's very surreal, but alot of it is laugh out loud, but very rude as well, the ZAZ team nearly made Kentucky Fried Movie 2, but it was recycled to make Airplane! (1980), Landis' career took off after this, and the capital of Nebraska is Lincoln!! 4/5

Thirst (1st view) - From Oldboy director Park Chan-wook comes this vampire film with a difference. A priest who's losing his faith volunteers in an experiment to find a cure for a deadly virus. Though infected initially he makes a recovery following a blood transfusion, but is now a vampire. One of the finest and most original takes on the genre in years - 4/5*

Throw Momma From The Train (1987), the directorial debut of Danny DeVito, who seems to have used his directing career with making black comedies like The War of the Roses (1989), Matilda (1996) and Death to Smoochy (2002), got off to a good start with this hilarious homage to Hitchcock. It has Larry Donner (Billy Crystal), a stuggling writer and college teacher, whose book was stolen by his ex-wife Margaret (Kate Mulgrew), who published it in her name. Meanwhile, one of Larry's students, Owen Lift (DeVito) has aspirations of becoming a great writer, but he is held back by his abusive, nasty mother (Anne Ramsey). Owen wants to kill his mother, but cannot. When Larry gives her a lecture on plot development, Owen see's Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train, which gives him an idea. Owen will kill Larry's ex-wife, while Larry will kill Owen's mother. Owen seemingly carries out the deed, and Larry becomes a suspect by the police. Now, Owen wants Larry to carry out his end of the deal, even if Larry never agreed to commit murder in the first place. It's a very funny film, with a good double act and some funny slapstick moments. It's a pity DeVito hasn't directed more, but the film is nearly stolen by Ramsey as the nasty mother. 4/5



The Good, the Bad, the Weird (2008), from South Korean director Kim Ji-woon, best known for the eerie A Tale of Two Sisters (2003), comes this offbeat and quite amusing western, unsurprisingly based upon Sergio Leone's finest hour. It's not like other westerns, this is more of an eastern, but it's good to see something like this. Set in 1930s Manchuria, it has The Bad, thief Park Chang-yi (Lee Byung-hun) plotting a train robbery to get a map from a Japanese diplomat. At the same time, the train robbery is literally derailed by The Weird, small time crook Yoon Tae-goo (Song Kang-ho), who also wants the map. Meanwhile, hot on their tail is The Good, bounty hunter Park Do-won (Jung Woo-sung). The Bad and The Weird find out the map leads to gold buried by the Qing Dynasty, and at the same time, a band of Manchurian bandits also go after the map, and the Imperial Japanese Army also go after the map, as they believe the gold can save the Japanese empire, but it's one playing against the other for the gold. It does sag a little bit in the middle, but it's a fun film, with some good action. It could have been a little tighter, but it's well made and even Leone would have approved of it. 3/5

101 Dalmatians (1996), a remake of Disney's 1961 animated classic, based upon the Dodie Smith's 1956 novel, this new version was written and produced by John Hughes and directed by Stephen Herek, (Critters and Mr. Holland's Opus). It captures the spirit of the original, even if alot of it feels alot like Home Alone, (with Hughes' touch), but it's fun. Set in London, it has American video games designer Roger Dearly (Jeff Daniels) and his dalmatian Pongo meeting fashion designer Anita Campbell-Green (Joely Richardson) and her dog Perdy. They were brough together by Pongo and Perdy's love for one another, so Roger and Anita marry. Anita works for fashion mogul Cruella de Vil (Glenn Close) who has a love for fur, and see's potential for a fur coat when she learns Perdy is to have puppies. But, Roger and Anita refuse to sell to Cruella, so she gets henchmen Jasper (Hugh Laurie) and Horace (Mark Williams) to steal them. But, the puppies, and alot more prove to be more of a match for them all. It is a different breed of film to the animated original, losing the voice of the dog does detract from the experience, but Close nearly steals the film as Cruella de Vil, who embraces the part with relish and delight. The slapstick is funny, and it seems to suit the film too. 3/5



Press for Time (1966), Norman Wisdom was one of the top comedians during the 1950's and 1960's, and made 14 films for The Rank Organisation. This would be his last film for Rank before he had a brief move to America to perform on Broadway. It's an amusing little film, and Wisdom's comedy timing and likeable performance keeps this going. It has paperboy Norman Shields (Wisdom) being assigned by his Grandfather, who is also the Prime Minister (also Wisdom). to a new job as a newspaper reporter in the seaside town of Tinmouth. There, Norman is working for newspaper editor Mr. Ross (David Lodge), and is sent out to cover various local events, but nothing goes to plan. Norman is able to get into all sorts of trouble while on the job, including inadvertantly causing an argument during a local council meeting, wrecking a house during a grand opening and crashing a bus into the harbour. But, Norman falls for Liz Corcoran (Frances White), daughter of local councillor Alderman Corcoran (Derek Francis), and wants to help her win the local beauty contest. It's not Wisdom's best film, but it is a good timepiece of what life and society was like back in the 1960's, and it has some good laughs throughout. You don't get family entertainment like this anymore, this was from a more wholesome, innocent time. 3/5

It's ages since I've seen 101 Dalmations but it always used to crack me up when Williams went "Who won the gold?"

Dante's Peak (1997), a by-the-numbers action-disaster film directed by Roger Donaldson (off The Bounty (1984) and Species (1995)), this came out in the same year as another volcano disaster movie, called erm... Volcano (1997), but this one is better and alot more scientifically accurate than the other one. This has volcanologist Dr. Harry Dalton (Pierce Brosnan) travelling to the town of Dante's Peak, Washington to investigate some volcanic activity that has been occuring near the town's titular mountain, an inactive volcano that hasn't erupted for about 7,000 years. But, the tremors get more and more frequent, and the discovery of the dead bodies of a skinny-dipping couple in a nearby hot spring confirm Dalton's worse fears. He enlists the town's mayor, Rachel Wando (Linda Hamilton) to evacuate the town, but as it happens, a big eruption occurs, and all roads out of town are blocked off, and Rachel's children are stranded up at a cabin near the volcano, so Harry and Rachel attempt to rescue them. Alot of the action is very cheesy indeed, but it does have moments of suspense throughout. The big climactic eruption is something enjoy, but it's like Twister, only with volcanos. 3/5



Harold and Maude (1971), directed by Hal Ashby off The Last Detail (1973), Coming Home (1978) and Being There (1979) and written by Colin Higgins, best known for Silver Streak (1976) and Nine to Five (1980). This is a wonderful pitch-black comedy that despite it's darkness and themes of death, is quite uplifting, thanks to two brilliant lead performances and score of songs. It has twentysomething eccentric Harold Chasen (Bud Cort), who has a morbid obsession with death, even staging suicides, attending funerals and driving a hearse. His mother (Vivian Pickles) is at her wits end with Harold's moods and trys to get him a woman. Meanwhile, at one funeral, Harold meets 79 year old spinster Maude (Ruth Gordon), who is quite mischievious and has a fascinating outlook on life. She has an odd outlook on life, and Harold is taken by her quirkiness and carefree attitude, she steals cars, rides motorbikes and even teaches Harold to play the banjo, but Harold's peers are not pleased with them together. For a synopsis like that, it sounds quite depressing, but it isn't, it's uplifting, telling us to enjoy life more. Gordon and Cort make a brilliant double act, and the songs by Cat Stevens lift the mood from one of blackness to enlightenment. Very offbeat but very funny too. 5/5

The Social Network (2010), David Fincher returns with the story of the creation of Facebook. Not exactly the sort of film people would expect from Fincher, best known for dark, moody films. But, this film has an engaging plot, a dry wit and very good performances. Seems Fincher knew what he was doing all along. It starts at Harvard University in the fall of 2003, when computer studies student Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) creates a social interactive site between students on the Harvard internet network, but is wishing to expand it further with other universities in the area, so he gets his best friend Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield) to put up the money to finance this idea, and it soon takes off. They soon find the chance to expand with Napster founder Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake), who thinks it could be a global operation. Eduardo isn't taken with Sean's ideas, but Mark is, and Mark follows Sean to California. Eduardo soon finds himself out of the company, so he sues Mark, but that isn't the only lawsuit Mark has to worry about. It's a character piece, sort of a cautionary tale in a way. But, the performances and excellent script by Aaron Sorkin keep you hooked on the film, who would have guessed this would make good cinema?? 4.5/5



Grindhouse (2007), Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino bring back raw exploitation cinema with a double-bill, and a great cinema experience to boot. Even if it didn't win the hearts and minds of the cinemagoing public when it was released, it's still a fun experience. First up, is Planet Terror, which has a group of murderous, infected zombie people called "sickos" invading a small town. Now, it's up to Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan), a woman with a gun for a leg, and partner El Wray (Freddy Rodriguez), to take on the zombies!! Then, it's Death Proof, about a slasher stuntman named Stuntman Mike, (Kurt Russell), who stalks and kills beautiful women with his stunt car, which is 'death proof' But, he eventually gets a taste of his own medicine, when one group of women get their revenge on him. It's a great cinema experience, just a pity hardly anyone went to see it originally, Planet Terror is the all-out action film, which Death Proof is a slow-burning character piece-come-slasher film. To add to the authenticity, it also includes fake trailers from Rob Zombie, Eli Roth and Edgar Wright!! Try and catch this one if you can!! 5/5

Moon (1st view) - Excellent, thoughtful science fiction films that looks beauitful and stars Sam Rockwell giving a great performance- 4/5*




As a side note, that is just the 6th film I've seen this month. Terrible!

Surf's Up (1st view) - More enjoyable than I thought it would be. I liked the idea of it being filmed as a documentary, and some of the supporting characters were very funny - 4/5*

Make up for lost time!!

Thunderbolt and Lightfoot (1974), written and directed by Michael Cimino, who had a notorious rise and fall a few years later with The Deer Hunter (1978) and then Heaven's Gate (1980), comes this slight little crime caper, which is violent and entertaining, but it does feel a bit long, a problem with most of Cimino's films. It's about two thieves who happen to run into each other, infamous bankrobber Thunderbolt (Clint Eastwood) and young small time crook Lightfoot (Jeff Bridges). Thunderbolt is being chased by two members of his old gang, Red Leary (George Kennedy) and Eddie Goody (Geoffrey Lewis). They think Thunderbolt betrayed them, but he didn't. The money from a previous job, left in a one-room school was demolished. However, Thunderbolt is able to come to terms with Red and Eddie, and Lightfoot convinces them to go for one last big job. It involves breaking into the same company Thunderbolt, Red and Eddie robbed all those years ago in Warsaw, Montana. But, will they get away with it this time, and will it all go to plan?? It's got some good performances throughout, Bridges especially, and the final heist is well executed and suspenseful, it's just the run up to it that's long and does drag. Pity really. 3/5



Sahara (2005), based upon Clive Cussler's 1992 book, part of his Dirk Pitt series. This is an entertaining, exciting and cheesy action film, old fashioned in it's direction. This should have started off a series of films based on Cussler's Dirk Pitt series, but a lawsuit and poor box-office firmly put the kibosh on that. Pity really, as it got off to a good start with this film. Set in Mali, Africa, it has Dirk Pitt (Matthew McConaughey) and his best friend Al Giordino (Steve Zahn) helping World Health Organisation doctor Eva Rojas (Penélope Cruz) with a disease spreading across the country. Meanwhile, Dirk is on his own quest, looking for a lost CSS ironclad Texas, ran by the confederates in 1865, during the last days of the Civil War. They discover the disease being spread around Mali is being caused by a solar plant being run by corrupt businessman Yves Massarde (Lambert Wilson) and the corrupt General Kazim (Lennie James), who are seeking to stop Rojas from exposing their plan, but with Dirk and Al with her, they'll never give in, and they always have a plan. It's very entertaining, and has some good moments of action/adventure, and it has a good sense of humour too, and McConaughey makes a good action hero too, cocky and heroic. But, it does take a while to get going, and has a good supporting cast including Delroy Lindo, Rainn Wilson and William H. Macy. 3.5/5

I love Sahara, I really wished they could have done more

Burke and Hare (1st view) - Great fun! Andy Serkis and Simon Pegg are both on top form, there are some fantastic little cameos and some very funny moments - 4/5

I heard Ronnie Corbett steals it!!

Red (2010), based on a comic book by created by Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner for DC Comics, this is an amusing and entertaining action-comedy with a brilliant cast. It's good to see an action film like this come along, and along with The Expendables, it proves that no-one is too old for action!! It begins when retired CIA agent Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) is hunted down by a hit squad who try to kill him. He goes on the run and finds himself with Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker), who works for Frank's pension office. With their lives in danger and CIA agent William Cooper (Karl Urban) on Frank's tail, Frank goes in search of his old team, which is made up of his mentor Joe (Morgan Freeman), who now lives in a retirement home, paranoid Marvin (John Malkovich) and retired MI6 agent Victoria (Helen Mirren). Together, they come up with a plan to get back at whoever is after them, this means going to the Russian's for help, in particular, Victoria's old flame Ivan Simanov (Brian Cox), and it looks like Vice President Robert Stanton (Julian McMahon) is involved with this conspiracy. It's a fun, enjoyable film, but for it's short running time there's alot going on and it takes patience and attention to get into it. But, it has a brilliant cast all giving great performances, including Richard Dreyfuss and Ernest Borgnine!! 4/5



Waiting for Guffman (1996), from Christopher Guest, best known for This Is Spinal Tap (1984), and for directing other mockumentaries like Best In Show (2000) and A Mighty Wind (2003). This is an underrated and funny little documentary that seems to have been forgotten about since it's release, despite critical acclaim. Set in the small town of Blaine, Missouri, it has the town celebrating their 150th anniversary celebration. In preperation for the celebration, eccentric theatre director Corky St. Clair (Guest) decides to create a musical celebrating the creation and founding of the town of Blaine in a show called Red, White and Blaine. He finds local talent for the production with local travel agents Ron and Sheila Albertson (Fred Willard and Catherine O'Hara), local dentist Dr. Alan Pearl (Eugene Levy), Dairy Queen employee Libby Mae Brown (Parker Posey) and taxidermist Clifford Wooley (Lewis Arquette). They then learn that Broadway producer and theatre critic Mort Guffman may be visiting to see the show, and it could put shoot the amateur cast to superstardom. It's got some brilliant performances, Guest and Levy are hilarious, as is Willard, who is always amusing. It takes a while to get going, but it pays off with the show, which has brilliant songs, written by Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer. 3.5/5

Donald McKinney wrote:

I heard Ronnie Corbett steals it!!

I might just agree with that!

Daybreakers (1st view) - Set in 2019, in which all but 5% of the population have been turned into vampires. Some good ideas in this, different to many other vampire films - 4/5*

Bronco Billy (1980), Clint Eastwood rides again with his 7th film as director, and a light-hearted romp about old fashioned entertainment, and it's a feelgood movie in a way, with a good ensemble cast to it's name as well. Even the show that goes on under the big-top is quite amazing to watch. It's about a travelling Wild West Show, ran by Bronco Billy McCoy (Eastwood). It's a show that is slightly run-down, playing to only a few people and non of Billy's employees are getting much money for the shows they do. After losing one female assistant, Billy finds one with heiress Antoinette Lilly (Sondra Locke), who was abandoned by her new husband John Arlington (Geoffrey Lewis), who stole her money. Billy convinces Antoinette to join his show as 'Miss Lilly'. However, it seems like Antoinette's arrival brings bad luck to the circus team, they get into trouble with the police and the circus tent burns down, and when Antoinette's husband is arrested for the suspected murder of his wife, the team step in to help. It's a fun, slight adventure, about a simpler time and more innocent time. There's nothing particularly memorable about this film, but it soon passes by, and the cast including Scatman Crothers, Sam Bottoms and Bill McKinney work well as the circus team. 3/5



Kelly's Heroes (1970), by director Brian G. Hutton, who did Where Eagle's Dare (1968) and written by Troy Kennedy Martin, who created The Italian Job, The Sweeney and Edge of Darkness, comes this entertaining war caper adventure, with a good cast but with a decidely unusual 1960's tone, which does go against it some of it the time. Set in France in 1944, Private Kelly (Clint Eastwood) of the U.S. Army National Guard's 35th Infantry Division learns of a stash of Nazi Gold worth $16 million 30 miles behind enemy lines in the town of Clermont. Kelly assembles a team, which includes Master Sergeant Big Joe (Telly Savalas), Crapgame (Don Rickles) and beatnik tank commander Oddball (Donald Sutherland) head off to find the gold. Hot on their tail is Major General Colt (Carroll O'Connor), who has learnt of the exploits of Kelly and his team, and Colt's team is after them. But, Kelly's team face a big battle when they get to Clermont, as it's heavily fortified by the Nazi Army, but this is one platoon that won't go away empty handed. There is good humour to be found in this war film, unlike M*A*S*H that came out the same year, this doesn't question the ethics of war, it just shows men on a mission, out for a load of gold. It does drag on a bit, but it has some good dialogue and odd characters. 3.5/5

Burke & Hare (2010), John Landis makes his long awaited return to cinema, with this black comedy produced by Ealing Studios, based on the true life titular serial killers that stalked the streets of old Edinburgh. It's very funny, and despite the atrocities our antiheroes commit, they are still likeable. Edinburgh in 1828, and it follows two immigrants from Northern Ireland, William Burke (Simon Pegg) and William Hare (Andy Serkis), who are penniless and starving, with Hare's wife Lucky (Jessica Hynes) berating them for their condition. When one of Lucky's lodgers dies, she asks Burke & Hare to get rid of the body, but then they learn of local medical physician Dr. Knox (Tom Wilkinson) needing bodies for medical studies. Knox promises to pay them £5 a body, (alot of money then). But, the body count rises, first with accidental deaths, then they murder people. This raises suspicion from Knox's medical rival Dr. Monroe (Tim Curry), and it's not long before the Edinburgh Militia led by Captain McLintock (Ronnie Corbett) is on their tail. It has some very silly moments, and it does feel a few scenes short in places. It's a good film, and despite all the murders, it's very upbeat. And has an excellent cast including Christopher Lee, Bill Bailey, Hugh Bonneville and Jenny Agutter. 3.5/5



Dolls (1987), after the success of Re-Animator (1985), director Stuart Gordon headed off to Italy to make this creepy low-budget horror oddity. You don't get horror films like this anymore, and indeed, some people would think the premise is pretty laughable, but the dolls seen in this film are quite creepy. It has the Bower family getting stuck in a storm in the English countryside. Little girl Judy (Carrie Lorraine), abusive stepmother Rosemary (Carolyn Purdy Gordon), and snobbish father David (Ian Patrick Williams). They find a house owned by toymakers Gabriel and Hilary Hartwicke (Guy Rolfe and Hilary Mason), whose house is fully of dolls. Other arrivals getting away from the storm are Punk hitchhikers Isabel (Bunty Bailey) and Enid (Cassie Stuart) and good-hearted American businessman Ralph Morris (Stephen Lee). As they settle down for the night, there's strange things going bump in the night, and people start going missing. There's just something not right about the toy dolls the Hartwicke's have created, they seem to appear and disappear. It's a very cheesy B-Movie horror, but it's quite compelling if a bit short. Maybe that's a good thing, and the good thing about Dolls is that it laid the tracks for Child's Play (1988). 3.5/5

Cronos (1993), the debut feature of Mexican director Guillermo Del Toro, who prior to this worked as a special effects make-up designer. It's a brilliant and compelling horror fantasy with some great moments of imagination on display from it's creator, it's a vampire film, but not as we know it, this is one with a twist. Set in Mexico City, it has elderly antiques dealer Jesús Gris (Federico Luppi) discovering an unusual mechanical device inside a statue known as Cronos, it spikes Jesús with an injection that feeds an incest inside the device. His encounter with the device makes Jesús feel and look younger, but it also gives Jesús a taste for human blood. Meanwhile, also looking for Cronos is dying businessman Dieter de la Guardia (Claudio Brook), who tells Jesús the device was made by a 16th Century Alchemist, but when Jesús refuses to hand the device over, Dieter sends his thuggish nephew Angel (Ron Perlman) after Jesús. Strange things happen to Dieter and entrusts his granddaughter Aurora (Tamara Shanath) to hold on to the device. It's not often you see a film like this, and since Del Toro came on the scene, fantasy cinema hasn't been the same since. The cast in the film are excellent, Luppi and Perlman especially, and the best is still to come from Del Toro. 5/5



The Devil's Backbone (2001), after having a bad experience with Bob and Harvey Weinstein on Mimic (1997), Guillermo Del Toro returned to his roots to make something very personal. He headed to Spain for this spooky thriller produced by Pedro Almodóvar. This is very gripping and tight-knit and makes a good companion piece to Pan's Labyrinth (2006). Set during the Spanish Civil War in 1939, this has Carlos (Fernando Tielve) being left at an orphanage in remote Spain, he isn't very popular with the boys, including the older boy Jaime (Íñigo Garcés), but Carlos finds sympathy with orphanage administrator Dr. Casares (Federico Luppi). Carlos learns that a boy called Santi (Junio Valverde) disappeared when a bomb dropped on the orphanage, and see's a ghostly figure haunting the place. Meanwhile, bully boy assistant Jacinto (Eduardo Noriega) strikes fear into the boys, and he's look for a cache of hidden gold that orphanage head Carmen (Marisa Paredes) knows about, but Carlos learns the truth of what really happened to Santi. It's a very claustrophobic film, set mostly within this orphanage, but it is a gripping and contained piece. Del Toro gets the best from his young cast, and this put Del Toro in good stead for Blade II (2002) and Hellboy (2004). 4.5/5

Red (1st view) - More fun than I expected it to be, with a particularly enjoyable performance from John Malkovich - 4/5*

Orgazmo (1998), just before they hit it big with South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone did this little oddity. They turned up in Hollywood from Colorado with the no-budget Troma flick Cannibal! The Musical (1996) to their name. This was their second film, and it's a hilarious satire at the porn industry. It has Mormon missionary Joe Young (Parker), who is doing Mormon work in Hollywood in order to pay for a wedding to his fiance Lisa (Robyn Lynne Raab). On his rounds his ends up at the house of porno mogul Maxxx Orbison (Michael Dean Jacobs), Orbison talks Young into acting in his latest porn film, Orgazmo. Even though the film goes against Joe's beliefs, he signs up for it. In the film Joe plays superhero Orgazmo, who fights crime with Choda Boy played by Ben Chapleski (Dian Bachar), and a weapon called the Orgazmorator. Turns out Ben has built a real one which Joe and Ben have fun with. However, it turns out Orbison is out to exploit Joe and make more Orgazmo films, but Joe wants out, especially when Lisa finds out the truth of what he's been up to. At the heart of all the smut and filth going on in this film, it is a good fun film, it's done on the cheap, it does show, but that just adds to the charm. It's a pity Parker and Stone haven't done more films, they showed great confidence here. 4/5



Deathwatch (2002), written and directed by Michael J. Bassett, (who recently did Solomon Kane (2009)), this is a low-budget and creepy war horror, (and there's not that many of those). It's a very claustrophoblic film, tight and contained, with a good ensemble of characters. Set in 1917 during the midst and horror of World War 1, it has a British regiment trapped behind enemy lines in a thick fog, the regiment consists of 16-year-old boy named Charlie Shakespeare (Jamie Bell), Private Barry Starinski (Kris Marshall), Captain Bramwell Jennings (Laurence Fox), Private Willie McNess (Dean Lennox Kelly) and Private Thomas Quinn (Andy Serkis). As they emerge from the fog, they find a mysterious labyrinth of German trenches, they find a mound of rotting bodies wrapped in barbed wire. They find one German survivor Friedrich (Torben Liebrecht), who the whole regiment are all nasty too, expect Charlie, who communicates to him by speaking French. However, members of the regiment are picked off one by one by a mysterious force, and the only radio they find says the regiment is dead. It's mood it set up from the outset, and it remains that way for the whole film. It does get a bit repetitive, but it has some effective moments, and has a good cast. Serkis steals it as a nasty piece of work, but he's a very good actor. 3/5